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Lord of the Rings, as Written By Everyone Else
sn0rt writes "A thread on Straight Dope asks what would happen if someone else had written the Lord of the Rings. Reader submissions include Ernest Hemingway, Douglas Adams, Mark Twain, HP Lovecraft, ee cumings, Milton, Mickey Spillane, Danielle Steele, Ayn Rand(!!), Ray Bradbury, Gilbert and Sullivan and Tom Clancy. My favourite is Dr. Suess: 'Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!' 'I can not, will not hold the One. You have a slim chance, but I have none. I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat. I cannot take it under Moria, that's one thing I can't do for ya. I would not bring it into Mordor, I would not make it to the border.'"
Maybe this would have been better: In Soviet Russia they Lord of YOUR Ring!
- This and all my posts are public domain. I am a Physicist. I am not your Physicist. This is not Physically advice
Wow. Anyone would've said your first post was a troll, but... See, now there are some people who would see something like this that's written for light entertainment and say "Guess I don't feel like reading that one today" -- and then there are others who see it and say to themselves "This is silly and intended to be fun but I don't read enough to see why! Slashdot isn't about having fun. I must intervene in the service of all that is true and good!"
You remind me of a Limbaugh true believer who expained to me in 1987 that he was propounding a grand new political philosophy -- on a dailup BBS that purged all but the last 100 messages. "Silly?" Silly doesn't even start to describe it.
"Fundamentalism" isn't about divine morality. It's about human authority.
RING TOSSES YOU IN THE FIRE.