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Lord of the Rings, as Written By Everyone Else
sn0rt writes "A thread on Straight Dope asks what would happen if someone else had written the Lord of the Rings. Reader submissions include Ernest Hemingway, Douglas Adams, Mark Twain, HP Lovecraft, ee cumings, Milton, Mickey Spillane, Danielle Steele, Ayn Rand(!!), Ray Bradbury, Gilbert and Sullivan and Tom Clancy. My favourite is Dr. Suess: 'Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!' 'I can not, will not hold the One. You have a slim chance, but I have none. I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat. I cannot take it under Moria, that's one thing I can't do for ya. I would not bring it into Mordor, I would not make it to the border.'"
First Post and Ph33r m3y3 l33t r1ngz0rz!! th3y w1ll 0wnz j00!
if you didn't keep calling me a cowboy.... :(
...Comrade Marx writes Lord of the Rings!
2 stories, reply with thoughts. Sarah and me is a quicky, penny's is a little better. Distribute penny's anywhere you can. Thankyou.
Sarah and Me
Sarah wanted to fuck me with her feet, but as she knew how much that would turn me on, she would make
me cum straight away. But she wanted to feel my hot cock on her little tootsies. So she would tease me
by moving the tip of her toes up and down reaaaly slowly for a few hours just slowly slowly jerking me
until i couldn't take it any more.
"Do you want me to jerk you off with my sexy little feet baby?"
"Yeah."
Sarah made me sit on a chair and she sat on a high chair. She then undid my jeans button and zip and
then took off my belt with her toes, her feet fully arched the whole time. Then she got herself a glass
of water with her feet and put it on the table with hetr feet. She took my cock out with her feet which
almost made me cum. And the when it was up in the air she just rubbed her toes up and down the underside
of my shaft, at the speed of about 1 cm per second. She saw me squirming so she tied me up to the chair
WITH HER FEET! Now back to jerking so she started the stroking with her toenails scraping my cock. Her
leg was in the air doing this so she was supporting it herself. And she just kept going and didnt get one
bit tired oif holding the arched foot in the air pose, AMAZING, her strategy was to stroke lightly and
slowly for about half an hour until I was aching and aout to just blow with anxious tension and then stop
for a minute, then do the whole thing. She kept me captive for about 30 hours and I thouhght I would die
of frustratioin, it was so sexy!
The Anonymous Porn Writer's
PENNY'S OBSESSION
~Copyright~
~2001~
DISCLAIMER: Material in my writing is of an adult
nature and shouldn't be read by certain people, I
don't know who though. All writing here is copyr-
ighted by The Anonymous Porn Writer, if you want
to use this text file, use it in it's original
form.
Penny was a short, trim, developed, blonde tanned 14 year old, she was working in the local
fruit shop wearing a pair of denim hot pants and a tank top. She wasn't wearing shoes. She had
one of her small tanned feet on the ground and the other lifted up and pointed out and the
tip of her toes carresing her leg. The boss sometimes told her to go out the back to get
more bananas or whatever and while she was out there she used to sometimes rub her feet on
the fruit, stroking the bananas with her little tanned toes, rubbing her little tootsies on the
watermelons.
Penny had never fingered herself, and never let any guy do anything to her. She had never
touched her vagina, never rubbed her tits. All she wanted to do was rub things with her feet,
and sometimes use her feet to do things she would normally do with her hands. For hours on end she
would sit in her room looking at her feet, putting leather straps on her ankles, running her arched
toes up and down her legs, up and down.
She often opened the window to tan her feet, and arched them in the sun, she always arched
her little tootsies as hard as she could, consequentialy, her little 5 inch feet hadn't grown a
millimetre since she was eleven and they had a permanent arch, making it hard to walk without
really high heels.
Penny continued without touching her self sexually, just her feet, fantasising at night about
her own feet, and what she could rub them on. She would sometimes sneak out of her room and rub
her tootsies on the food in the fridge, the fruit in the fruit bowl. She became very fast at it
and very controlled. She really loved rubbing her feet on things and secretly wished, however
impossible it was, that she could rub them on her huge, perky, firm, out-of-preportion tits and
rub her nipples with her toes all over until she came. She didn't ever touch her pussy, or her
tits though.
Sometimes Penny would sneak in to her older brother Chad's room and while he was asleep,
put her feet in his mouth and rub them on his chest, she liked to do that. Her small, tanned,
arched, sexy little feet had become her obsession.
When Penny was home alone she'd just rub her feet together and rub them on things. And every
night she would rub them on her brothers chest and put them in in his mouth. Penny didn't know
this, but Chad was awake once while she performed the ritual and ever since stayed awake for
her to come and rub him. He pretended he was asleep, but he thought Penny's feet were really
sexy and got off on watching her using them, watching her get her kicks rubbing her feet all
over the family's food, all over her legs. Chad had an idea that he'd leave his 24inch long,
8-inch thick cock out one night and Penny would rub that. It was the largest penis in the world.
One night after not masturbating or fucking his girlfriend for a
fortnight Chad took it out. Already at the thought of his little sister's small tanned
sexy feet, he had a huge erection, it was pulsing so hard that you could hear it, and he didn't
touch it as much as he wanted to. Sure enough, Penny snuck in to put her feet up on Chad's face,
and then she saw his cock. She really wanted to rub that with her feet, so she placed her
little feet on the massive penis and ran them down from the head slowly down the shaft,
clinging on very tightly, then back up and moved them around on the head, rubbing them
back down, she felt EXTREMELY aroused, and kept rubbing, up, and down the huge 80cm penis,
she was now lying on top of Chad straddling his massive cock, running her feet up, and down. She
was going to explode with arousal and so was Chad, but he was holding in the cum as hard
as he could. His little sister's sexy tiny feet felt so erotic on his massive penis,
rubbing up and down and he could hear Penny's high pitched soft voice squeeking and purring
with pleasure, he exploded. Penny kept rubbing. She was cumming too, she hadn't touched
herself at all but she was cumming really hard, as litres of cum washed her feet, naked
tits and hair, they kept cumming. She kept rubbing up and down, really
slowly, litres and litres kept flowing out and she kept rubbing and cumming, rubbing and cumming with Chad for
about six hours.
Giants should've gotten one more fucking play!!
We'll have our revenge next year, suckas
Don't fuck wit New Yawk, yo
from up on the pacific crest, as it applies to the future?:
.COM era
have suffered substantially from their lack of foresight. How can you
fault Bill Gates for avoiding the same fate? It seems to me that
Microsoft has been most diligent in keeping their business focused on
real opportunities rather than on the faddish bubbles that have
betrayed the rest.
.NET framework and extensible down to your
backyard thermostat. They can't do it. They can't even come up with a
decent client platform distinguished from the server platform. There's
no Exchange, there's not even a reasonable SQL that integrates like SQL
Server and .NET? ."
"Despite the hype that the Internet evolved from the Arpanet the reality is that Bill Gates invented the modern day Internet in 1995 when he launched Win 95".
"MS making money in the downturn to me shows that Microsoft's business is not in synch with the real world.
Well maybe it shows that to you, but to me it shows that Microsoft is master of their own fates and well able to steer a profitable course around the pitfalls that have swallowed up others. Oracle and Sun and EMC and Cisco and other darlings of the Unix-fueled
Uh Oh, there is a Gecko waiting.
In your dreams, craigster! LOL!!! Take a look above and tell me where the linux smerfs are going to ever come up with an end to end solution that can match the Windows servers, SQL, Exchange, SharePoint, Windows client platforms, and MS Office applications, all networked neatly within the
lol
She has that you-don't-fuck-me-i-will-fuck-you-and-hard kind of attitude and those right sized breasts that will fit perfectly into your hand (no more, no less). Gives me a hard-on even when I think of her.
Wow. Anyone would've said your first post was a troll, but... See, now there are some people who would see something like this that's written for light entertainment and say "Guess I don't feel like reading that one today" -- and then there are others who see it and say to themselves "This is silly and intended to be fun but I don't read enough to see why! Slashdot isn't about having fun. I must intervene in the service of all that is true and good!"
You remind me of a Limbaugh true believer who expained to me in 1987 that he was propounding a grand new political philosophy -- on a dailup BBS that purged all but the last 100 messages. "Silly?" Silly doesn't even start to describe it.
"Fundamentalism" isn't about divine morality. It's about human authority.
RING TOSSES YOU IN THE FIRE.