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For Those Long Coding Sessions: The Food Patch

Posted by timothy on from the ask-your-doctor-if-it's-right-for-you dept.

rtphokie writes "The U.S. Army has created a Transdermal Nutrient Delivery System which works similarly to to nicotine or birth control patches but delivers vitamins and other micronutrients. It was developed to help "warfighters sustain their physical and mental performance" during high intensity conflict. Is this what ./'ers need during those long coding sessions."

35 of 385 comments (clear)

  1. ok, sign me up to be a dotslasher by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    It might be good for slashdotters too. :-)

  2. What flavors? by tinrobot · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'd really like tandoori chicken with mint sauce, please. Oh yeah, my arm has no taste buds. Dang.

    1. Re:What flavors? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Slashdotters can code?

  3. No vits, please by Alien54 · · Score: 5, Funny
    I don't need no stinking vitamins

    I just want a caffeine patch. - Well, maybe a junk food patch. I can see this.

    --
    "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
    1. Re:No vits, please by sql*kitten · · Score: 3, Funny

      I just want a caffeine patch. - Well, maybe a junk food patch. I can see this.

      Look, I'm a Brit, and if there's one thing we British know, it's how to conquer a planet and rule it for two centuries without really trying. These patches are a bad idea. The British Army marches on fried sausages, fried bacon, black pudding, fried bread, fried tomatoes, fried eggs and Earl Grey tea. The French Army, who also did a fairly good job of conquering things, marched on croissants, black coffee and Gitanes.

      Do you really think the American Empire will survive if you make your troops use patches instead of real food? Whoever invented these should be court-martialled.

  4. I suppose it makes sense... by Ironica · · Score: 5, Funny

    Clinical studies show that, while only about 20% (less now, I'm thinking) of Americans are addicted to cigarettes, 100% are addicted to food.

    Hopefully, this patch will help people with a food abuse problem to combat it and overcome it. In moderation, food is a good and healthy thing, but as with so many things, there is such a thing as too much.

    I wonder how long it's going to take them to come up with the Sleep patch? Now that's an addiction I'd like to kick...

    --
    Don't you wish your girlfriend was a geek like me?
    1. Re:I suppose it makes sense... by Dirtside · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm way more interested in an Air patch. Having to breathe all the time is really inconvenient.

      --
      "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
    2. Re:I suppose it makes sense... by SageLikeFool · · Score: 2, Funny
      Screw that, give me a sleep patch, or make it so I don't have to sleep at all. And I don't mean caffiene or anything else like that. I want NO side effects.

      You want to talk inconvenience. Think of all the time you could waste doing other pointless stuff if you didn't have to sleep?

    3. Re:I suppose it makes sense... by ShecoDu · · Score: 2, Funny

      Now that you talk about that, a blood patch would rule.

      Avoiding bleeding would greatly reduce dead rates.

    4. Re:I suppose it makes sense... by bilbobuggins · · Score: 4, Funny
      i'm hoping for a sex patch so i can stop getting laid all the time

      oh wait...

  5. be careful, you are slashdotting an .mil server by havaloc · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not sure if it would be a wise idea to slashdot a military server these days. You might be considered a terrorist.

    1. Re:be careful, you are slashdotting an .mil server by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
      I work for the military: I know what i[sic] am talking about here.

      Classic oxymoron. Classic.

      And I do mean moron.

    2. Re:be careful, you are slashdotting an .mil server by istartedi · · Score: 2, Funny

      just honestly wondering how the parent pronounced '.mil' that it gets prefixed with 'an'.

      "Army" :)

      --
      For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
    3. re:be careful, you are slashdotting an .mil server by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
      care for some cheese with that whine? we have cheddar, swiss, colby, and shut-the-hell-up.

      love,
      e.e.cummings

    4. Re:be careful, you are slashdotting an .mil server by Fesh · · Score: 3, Funny

      Maybe... "an em-eye-ell site"?

      --
      --Fesh
      Kill -9 'em all, let root@localhost sort 'em out.
  6. Jolt patches... by Peterus7 · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's all we need now to have neverending LAN games...

  7. The logical extension by Qwaniton · · Score: 3, Funny

    "This processor might activate a microelectrical mechanical system that transmits the micronutrients -- either through skin pores or pumped directly into blood capillaries."

    I am warfighter of Borg.
    You will be assimilated.
    Resistance is futile.

  8. Will they come in Flintstone shapes? by SSeth · · Score: 2, Funny

    I know I'm not the only one who still buys them...

  9. Beer by evilroot · · Score: 4, Funny

    Forget food. I want one that pumps BEER straight into my veins!

  10. Long Coding Sessions? by bahwi · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Is this what ./'ers need during those long coding sessions."

    Is that anything like the much needed Sex Patch?

    Uh, erm, not that I need it. =)

    1. Re:Long Coding Sessions? by SensitiveMale · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Is this what ./'ers need during those long coding sessions."

      Is that anything like the much needed Sex Patch?
      And by the pr0n usage of the readers, would they make those in both right-handed and left-handed varieties?

    2. Re:Long Coding Sessions? by XNormal · · Score: 3, Funny

      Is that anything like the much needed Sex Patch?

      $ patch -p0 < human_male-1.3.7-multiple-orgasms.diff

      --
      Stop worrying about the risks of nuclear power and start worrying about the risks of not using nuclear power.
  11. Is this what ./'ers need during those long coding by 56ker · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well it seems you're in need of one to prevent you making mistakes through hunger! It's /.ers not ./ers. The site's called slashdot - not dotslash!

    --


    Video Game cheats, hints a
  12. Re:what about oral stimulation ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "oral stimulation"....

    I could use some of that myself right about now....

  13. And I thought C-Rats and MRE's were bad by core+plexus · · Score: 5, Funny
    When I was in the Army (uh-oh), we'd sometimes not eat but once a day, especially in Ranger school. And a part of that reason was because the meals were so terrible. Oh I hope you never have to eat "Pork, Processed, with Juices" or scrambled eggs and ham that are 5 years old. Now they'll be having soldiers shaving their testicles to apply a food patch. I'll pass on the 're-up', thanks.

    Personal Strap-On Aircraft for Auction on eBay

  14. 67 posts in.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    *mumbles*
    Cant be /.'d yet
    *mumbles* .mil site, should be able to handle the effect..
    *shakes monitor*
    Come on ya bitch, serve the page, serve the page!

    *frowns*
    too late! /. 1 .mil 0

  15. Unneccessary! by Publicus · · Score: 2, Funny

    I have pizza rolls, I take them orally. They work quite well.

    --

    My Karma was at 49, then they switched to words. All that work for nothing!

  16. When I played Army we didn't have this cool stuff by Sean+Clifford · · Score: 3, Funny
    Man, when I played Army we didn't have this cool stuff. Sure, I got to blow shit up and that was a lot of fun. We had MREs, but that was before they started putting M&Ms and tabasco sauce in them. Patches? Hmmm, I'll hang on to 'em, but I'd rather have my freeze-dried peaches.

    Imagine you'll get pretty hungry, though.

    GI Joe: Trade you my patch for your peanut butter and crackers.

    GI Ethnic: [bitch slaps GI Joe]

  17. Re:hell with food, MORE DRUGS by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    This dime bag is your official invitation to be continuously sodimized in prison over the course of one year, you will them become a repeat offender to rekindle that feeling of magic as your poor little sphincter gets gouged by the man with mom tatooed on his arm.

  18. Nutrition Patches by reverseengineer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Great, now I can finally do away with that glucose/ephedrine IV!

    --
    "FDA staff reviewers expressed concern about the number of patients who were left out of the study because they died."
  19. I'm confused... by AyeRoxor! · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Is this what ./'ers need during those long coding sessions[?]"

    What's a dot-slasher? :-P

  20. Re:No. by Eric_Cartman_South_P · · Score: 5, Funny
    I know a guy who lost 150 pounds by just taking the refridgerator out of his computer room.

    Moving a 150 pound refrigerator from the computer room and back into the kitchen from where it came does NOT constitute weight loss.

  21. The Food Patch by farnsworth · · Score: 5, Funny
    here's the actual patch:
    Index: human/nerd/coder/employed/on_the_job.h
    ========== ============
    RCS file:
    / universe/ solar_system/ earth/ mamal/ human/ nerd/ coder/ employed/ on_the_job.h,v
    retrieving revision 1.0
    diff -u -r1.0 on_the_job.h

    #include <wake_up.h>
    #include "../../common/move_to_workstation.h"
    -#include "../nutrition/check_slashdot.h"
    +#include <eat_a_bagel.h>
    #include <guzzle_coffee.h>
    --

    There aint no pancake so thin it doesn't have two sides.

  22. Work Requirement by mrmaster · · Score: 2, Funny

    So when will my job start requiring this new technology so i can work without a lunch break.

  23. similarly to to nicotine or birth control patches by tlambert · · Score: 5, Funny

    ..."works similarly to to nicotine or birth control patches"...

    Oh yeah, there's a warehouse mixup waiting to happen.

    -- Terry