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Baked Apple
Aaron Steele writes "Okay, I work at an Apple Authorized Retailer and we just had a lady come in to see if we could fix her PowerBook G4. She walks in the store and comes up to me, 'Sir, I've got a baked Apple.' The top of the screen was a little brown and warped. The lady opened up the machine and the screen was all cracked, and there was not a single key left on the keyboard. It turns out she had the machine in the oven for 20 minutes, baking at 400 degrees. No joke. And what's even more amazing. The machine still works. Ethernet, Modem, USB, it all works. Plug in an external monitor and keyboard and it's good as new ... almost." Am I the only one for whom this conjures up images of Shrinky Dinks?
Methinks the powerbook was not the only thing that was "baked".
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning.
That's the oddest pie recipe I've ever seen.
Stating on Slashdot that I like cheese since 1997.
Was this woman real old? Did she put it in with cookies, or brownies? What was in those brownies? And do you think she has anymore?
I suspect she was trying to be like Ellen Feiss but misinterpreted something.
She was probably trying to get baked and then talk about Apple, but instead baked the Apple.
Simple mistake, really. Anyone could have made it.
Karma: Excellent Birds (mostly as a result of listening to Laurie Anderson)
Grandma's Olde Fashioned G4 Pie Recipie
Apple Filling:
1 large tart Apple Powerbook G4
40 grams / 1 1/2 oz of butter
1/2 cup of castor sugar
1 cup of water
1 cinnamon stick or 1/2 a teaspoon of ground cinnamon
4 whole cloves or a pinch of ground cloves
2 large strips of the rind of 1/2 a lemon (zest)
1 teaspoon of cornflour
Peel the Powerbook and cut into quarters. Remove the core and dice each quarter. In a large saucepan melt the butter over a medium low heat, add the diced Powerbook, sugar, water, lemon rind, cinnamon and cloves and combine. Cover and sweat for 5 to 10 minutes, or until the Powerbook is just tender but still retains its shape. Remove from the heat. Discard the lemon rind, cinnamon stick and cloves. Drain most of the excess liquid off and mix in the cornflour. Set aside to cool.
Sweet Shortcrust Pastry
2 cups of flour
A pinch of salt
125 grams / 4 1/2 oz of butter
1/4 cup of castor sugar
1 egg
1 to 2 tablespoons of milk
Preheat the oven to 180C, 350F or gas mark 4. Grease a large deep pie dish or a round springform tin. Shake two cups of flour into the tin to dust the sides. Pour the flour out into a large bowl or food processor and add the sugar. Cut the butter into small cubes and rub into the flour with your hands or process until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Add the egg and mix or process for another 5 to 10 seconds until the mixture comes together, adding the milk if necessary. Turn out the mixture on a lightly floured bench or board and knead until the mixture forms a smooth ball. Handle as little as possible to prevent the pastry from becoming hard when baked. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 20 minutes.
On a lightly floured bench or board roll out two-thirds of the pastry, 5 mm (1/8 inch) thick. Place inside the greased and dusted tin to form the base and sides of the pie. Carefully spoon the cooled Powerbook filling into the pie shell. Roll out the remaining pastry into a circle, 5 mm (1/8 inch) thick and large enough to cover the Powerbook and form the lid of the pie. Wrap the lid over a rolling pin and carefully unroll over the top of the pie. Trim off the excess pastry, seal the edge by crimping the pastry sides using a fork or pinching between your forefinger and thumb. Make small slits or holes in the lid with a small knife for air to escape. With a pastry brush, lightly coat the top with a little extra beaten egg. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until the pastry is golden. Serve hot or cold with ice cream, whipped cream or custard.
To form a lattice top cut 1 cm (½ inch) strips out of the pastry lid. Lay them across the pie, 5 mm (1/4 inch) apart. Fold back every second vertical strip and lay a new horizontal strip across the strips that have not been folded. Lay the folded back strips back down. Then repeat folding back the vertical strips that were not folded in the previous round. Cover the rest of the pie in a similar fashion.
(Serves 6 to 8)
She was hired to babysit for a young couple's infant daughter. They did not know of her three-doobie-a-day habit. When the couple returned home, she told them that everything went OK and that the pie was almost done. Alarmed, the couple ran into the kitchen, opened the oven door, and discovered that THE BABYSITTER HAD BAKED THEIR POWERBOOK!!!!
Damn, I've got to stop reading alt.folklore.urban.
That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
Ok, ok, enough with the Pie jokes. There is plenty of good material here without them:
Are you sure this machine wasn't stolen? From the pictures, it looks kinda hot.
Are you sure she wasn't just trying to burn her first CD?
Insert OB Overclocking Joke Here
"Ma'am, I feally think you are missing the point of FireWire."
best web host ever
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
hell, i'll give your advise in your sig a try...
<grub> Reading