Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft: Because Bugs are Cool
h_orion writes "According to Mr. Gates, Microsoft recieves 'Less than one percent' call volume in relation to bugs. He also blames the users lack of knowledge as a cause of some of these bugs. He goes on to say that the feeling of frustration that people hold towards bugs is a sociological issue, rather than technical saying that people complain about software bugs 'Because it's cool.' Read more in this interview." Boy, where do you even begin...
Hello 1
EAT IT!!!
chances are this is second...bah
This makes me cool, right?
We will be spending close to $50-100 billion in Iraq war. Do you know that we use an average of 20 million barrels of oil every day?
Assuming the price of oil to be $30 per barrel, this brings our daily cost of oil to be $600 million. Therefore, it would take us 100 days to recover $60 billion if we get our entire daily oil need of 20 million barrels from Iraq and not considering other costs. Other allies will get their cut too...
Imagine, 100 days = less than four months
We can build our reserves pretty fast...Sounds good to me...
Like so third post......!!!!
Bugs report YOU!
THE JENNY JONES SHOW
"I have a perverse sexual fetish"
Jenny: Hi, and welcome to today's show - "I have a perverse sexual fetish." Let me warn you, today's topic is on the distrubing side. We will meet three men who at first glance appear to be normal, sane, and well-educated but thier deviant addiction to the popular Internet website Slashdot.org and individual sexual perversions set them apart from you and I.
Audience: EWWWWW!
Jenny: Let us meet our first guest, Harry Knowles.
(Harry Knowles, webmaster of the popular movie rumor site Aint It Cool News, is escorted from the backstage area in a wheelchair.)
Jenny: Hello Harry. I must say, I have visited your site many times and am honored to finally speak with you. So tell us, what is your sexual perversion?
Harry: Well Jenny...I have never admitted this before...but...I'm sorry.
(Harry is obviously distraught.)
Jenny: Don't be. Does it have anything to do with your paralysis?
Harry: Yes. I once enjoyed a normal sex-life, but that changed after the accident which left me paralyised from the waist down and left me unable to orgasm.
Jenny: That's understandable
Harry: It gets worse. After hours of masturbation and ingesting dangerous amounts of amyl-nitrate, I realized only one thing gives me any semblance of carnal pleasure....
(Harry pauses.)
Harry (head in hands): I like to pour hot grits down my pants.
Audience: EWWWWW!
Jenny: Hot grits...as in the breakfast food..??
Harry (in tears): Yes. Hot grits as in warm ground corn. I like to pour them down my pants. It feels so warm, so tender...don't hate me, is it wrong for a man to do the only thing that pleasures him?
Jenny: No, no it is not. It is obvious this strains you.
Harry (smiling): Strains me? Oh heavens no! Hot grits are a wonderful lover! Oh, to feel her sweet carress on my lifeless genitals. It is that of the great muse, Natalie Portman!
Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!
Harry: Yes Jenny, I am a gritsman...and I love it!
Jenny: Well I am glad you have found some way of self-satisfaction in material objects. Our next guest, however, finds gratification only in the digital world. Signal 11, come out!
(Signal 11, posterboy karma whore of Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area. He sits, legs crossed, in a chair next to Harry Knowles.)
(Somewhere in the audience screams of "-1, Troll" are heard. Signal 11 reaches into his pocket and withdraws a phone. The phone is solid black, save for the words "BITCHSLAP" written on it. He quickly hits the button labeled "speed dial to cmdr. taco" and converses briefly. Suddenly, the entire audience is quiet and Signal 11 smiles.)
Jenny: Hello Signal 11.
Signal 11: Hello Jenny. I am pleased to be here. Perhaps after the show we can go orchestrate e-commerce applications?
Jenny: Uhhhh....anyway, what is your sexual perversion?
Signal 11: It all stems from my inability to syndicate interactive communities properly, embrace strategic supply-chains in the correct vortals....and that I have only one testicle.
Jenny: Wow. Those buzzwords. You strike me as one Insightful, Interesting, and Informative guy!
Signal 11: No need for the praise Jenny. My mod squad is on it. Say, how about that recent merger between Bungie and Micro$oft? That's going to leverage killer e-markets!
Audience: mmmmgrgppgh
Jenny: (laughing) Ha ha ha ha! "Micro$oft" You are a true master of language Signal 11, and Funny too!
Audience: mmmmgrgppgh
(Several geeky looking men come running in from backstage. Each carries a bit of karma labeled Insightful, Interesting, Informative, and Funny. They all rush to Signal 11's side and begin showering him with karma. It is obvious he is receiveng a sexual thrill from this public attention.)
Audience: mmmmgrgppgh
Jenny: You...you...you're a karma whore!
Signal 11: Yes Jenny, I am a karma whore...and I love it! I must run to the bathroom now.
(Signal 11 and his moderators get up and rush backstage. Before they are out of earshot though, one moderator is heard saying "Hey bojay, I gots sum cheap 3 dolla crack dog. You wants some too?")
Jenny: You have entered into the conversation. All you previous moderations are undone, and Signal 11 now has no more whored karma.
(Signal 11 begins to cry as the bulge in his pants fades away. He hides his head in shame and runs off. Sadly, the audience has not had time to email pater and is still bitchslapped.)
Jenny: Well. With that out of the way, let's meet our third guest - OSM!
Audience (delighted): mmmmgrgppgh
(OSM, the sole source of truth on Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area by what appears to be a being of pure energy. They sit, together, on a couch.)
Jenny: Welcome sir! I must ask, is that an escaped Drej from JonKatz's trollish article on Titan A.E. ?
OSM: Oh no, this is much more pure and supple. This...this is Natalie Portman!
(The light shining from Natalie Portman cuts out so everyone can see her beautiful teen radiance. The mere sight of her firm breasts is enough to undo the bitchslapping. She and OSM warmly embrace.)
Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!
Jenny: Loving Natalie Portman is not a sexual perversion. It is a normal and healty sexual outlet with the most beautiful gift on this Earth. If only we could all be as fortunate as you. If I could only have a lesbian relationship with her, however so fleeting. Ahhhhhh....
OSM: Can't talk. Must kiss.
Natalie Portman: Yes. Kiss me, kiss me and let us be as one. You are my soul-twin.
(The pair embrace again and kiss. After 15 minutes, OSM picks Natalie up and walks away with her - still kissing. The audience is forever touched by such a kind and beautiful sight as Natalie Portman, and goes about the world to do good deeds and troll Slashdot.)
EL FIN!
translation: Its cool because I say so.
Nothin' to see here folks, move along..
once my little sister had bugs. i was afraid i was going to get them.
That's a relief! I thought for a second you were going to say 'pork-curtains', which wouldn't have been kosher!
Unique Multi-Publisher Venture Will Complete 7-Book Series, Written Over More Than 30 Years; Three Publishers will Coordinate Efforts
New York, NY-International best-selling writer Stephen King has finished the last three volumes of his Dark Tower series and will publish the first on November 4, 2003 with Donald M. Grant Publisher, Inc., a small press in New Hampshire which has published the prior four Dark Tower books, and with Scribner, the publisher of his recent novels, it was announced today by Robert K. Wiener, President of Donald M.Grant and by Susan Moldow, Executive Vice President and Publisher of Scribner. Prior to the publication of the new volume there will be a special promotion of the Dark Tower backlist, in hardcover as well as paperback editions, from Penguin Group (USA) publishers, Viking, Plume Books and New American Library.
The unusual arrangement was co-brokered by King's long-time manager Arthur Greene and editor, Chuck Verrill of Darhansoff, Verrill, Feldman, a literary agency. This is the first time, according to Greene, that three unaffiliated publishers have come together to publish a series of books, by one author in one territory.
The launch of the final three volumes will commence with a massive promotion in June of Volumes I-IV of the series in Viking hardcover and Plume trade paperback: The Gunslinger, (first published in 1982), The Drawing of the Three, (1987), The Waste Lands, (1991) and Wizard and Glass, (1997). King has written a new introduction to the series that will be included in the new hardcover, and redesigned trade paperback editions of all four books, including the first publication of a newly revised and expanded edition of The Gunslinger, a tale King began writing in 1970, five years before the publication of his first novel, Carrie.
The New American Library mass-market editions will follow monthly from July through October. In November, Donald M. Grant with Scribner will publish Wolves of the Calla, the fifth volume in the series, in a high-quality, illustrated edition for the general trade, retailing at $35. The arrangement will continue for the publication of the remaining books. Song of Susannah, Volume VI, will follow in summer 2004 and The Dark Tower, the seventh and final novel in the series, will be published in November 2004. Illustrated trade paperback editions will follow each hardcover at roughly six-month intervals. Mass-market editions from Pocket Books will follow eventually. Wolves of the Calla will be illustrated by Bernie Wrightson, Song of Susannah by Darrel Anderson, and The Dark Tower by Michael Whelan, who illustrated the original Grant edition of The Gunslinger.
Commenting on the series, King said, "I started writing the Dark Tower when I was still in college. It's been a major part of my life and my writing career. I wanted to finish it both for the readers, who have been so devoted, and for myself. In the upcoming books you'll meet new characters and you'll see familiar faces like Ted Brautigan from Hearts in Atlantis, Father Callahan from Salem's Lot...even Dinky Earnshaw from Everything's Eventual. For me, it's like a finale and a reunion, all at once. I've put everything I've got into these three books, and I think it shows. I can say something about them I've only been able to say about a handful of my previous novels: They work, they're good, and I'm proud to have written them."
Said Clare Ferraro, President of Viking and Plume Books, "It's a great pleasure to join forces with him again to publish what certainly constituted the most ambitious work of his career. These new editions of the Dark Tower will be eagerly awaited by his fans and provide new readers with a chance to 'begin at the beginning' of this epic work."
To complement the publication of the existing books in the series and the final three novels, Scribner will also publish a two-volume concordance, a reference for the series detailing character names, places and other cross-references in the books. The first will cover Volumes I-IV in the series and the second, will cover Volumes V-VII. Stephen King's The Dark Tower: A Concordance, Volume I, written by Robin Furth, will be published in June. Volume II, also by Furth, will be published in November 2004 in conjunction with the Scribner publication of the final book in the Tower series. King has written an introduction for the concordance.
"The Dark Tower is one of the most beloved series in modern publishing history," said Scribner's publisher Susan Moldow. "For fans who've been waiting for all these years to find out how it ends, the news that the three final volumes will be available within a year will be a cause for jubilation."
The Dark Tower novels have a unique history in publishing. Beginning with a short story published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, King has been working on what became his epic fantasy quest for thirty-two years. The Gunslinger appeared in hardcover only in a limited edition from Donald M. Grant in 1982. The Plume trade paperback edition published five years later became a #1 national bestseller. The pattern of a high-priced limited edition from Donald M. Grant, followed by a #1 trade paperback from Plume continued for the next three books at almost regular five year intervals. The summer promotion of Volumes I-IV from Viking and the fall publication of Wolves of the Calla will be the first time that any new hardcover of a Dark Tower book will be available to as wide an audience as demands it. And the fact that King has completed the last three books signals for the first time that someone who commences the series can be assured of reading it to the end.
Robert Wiener said "Prior to its publication Donald Grant himself declared The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger 'The most important fantasy volume in the history of specialty publishing.' Twenty-one years and four books later, this scheduled release of the remaining volumes is cause for even greater anticipation and excitement for King fans everywhere."
Stephen King was born in Portland, Maine in 1947. He has published over 40 books and is considered one of the world's most successful writers. He and his wife, Tabitha, are regular contributors to a number of charities including many libraries and have been honored for their philanthropic activities.
You, sir, are a Negro. Happy Black History Month.
Fo' shizzle, ma nizzle.
Saddam will flipout.
first post!?
Well I like em.. The brown ones have cream centres
Bow down and worship my hyperbolic rhetoric!
pleeeeeease?!!!!
I need a God damn job
I need a God damn job
I really need a God damn job
I need a God damn job
God dammit
God dammit
God damn, I need a God damn job
I need a God damn girl
I need a God damn girl
I really need a God damn girl
I need a God damn girl
God dammit
God dammit
God damn, I need a God damn job
Right now right now
An honest job, if I can find one