Slashdot Mirror
French Legislators Vote to Ban Spam
mlawmlaw writes "The Herald is reporting that France's National Assembly has voted 'in favor of banning unsolicited e-mail sales messages.' This is an admendment to a law to 'increase confidence in the digital economy.' This would ban 'direct marketing, notably advertising, via electronic messages' to individuals who had not given consent. The article is light on details, but it's nice to see France taking a step to reduce spam."
Who cares. They'll never do anything about it, and even if they do they'll mess it up. They voted to pass resolution 1441, but they haven't backed it up. And frankly, I'd say that VX nerve gas would be a tad more disruptive to the average French citizen than a little unsolicited spam. Hell, I may just dig out my old french books and see if I can sell some wine and cheese via the internet.
--
Annotateit at Annotateit.com
I'm surprised that France didn't ask for more proof that spam was a problem.
On the other hand, what happens if you ignore France and keep violating the law? Are you guaranteed they'll perpetually seek a "diplomatic solution"?
Joke(s): An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him.
:)
..theres millions of em there"
The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" asks the Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth.
"Of course!"
The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. We collect the crusts in containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell them to the United States."
The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. All the while, the American listens in silence.
"Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" asks the Frenchman.
"Of course!"
The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We don't. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them into jam, and sell it to the U.S."
"And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" asks the American.
"We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a dumbfounded look.
The American explains, "WE don't. In the U.S., we put them in a container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to France.
Joke(s): From Texas,USA I read this on the back of a public restroom door. "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth to another Frenchman.
Joke(s): "A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. The bartender says, "HEY! You can't bring that pig in here." The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse me...but that's a duck." The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck."
Joke(s): A frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a glass of wine. The frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well.
The frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in here?
The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure.
The Landlord looks at the frenchie and says "You want a go?" to which the frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the head."
Joke(s): Some more Anti-French jokes, I hope these get through.
What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
How to surrender in at least 10 languages.
What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.
Why does Nike like the French Army?
Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.
Joke(s): Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 so wildly? It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.
I really like this one.
Joke(s): Here we go with yet another anti-French joke - What's the difference between 1943 and 2003?
A. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German puppets what to do.
Joke(s): A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for her family for dinner that night. She looked at the display of brains and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. She gasped and asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint.
"No ma'm," answered the butcher. "That is the correct price."
"Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" exclaimed the cannibal.
"Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" replied the butcher.
Joke(s): Q: Why do the French Smell? A: So blind people can hate them too!
Joke(s): Q: Why do the french call their fighter the *Mirage*? A: Because it doesn't really exist.
Joke(s): What's green, cold, slimey and croaks - A Frenchman
(42) Date: 19/02/03
Name: Frank Hunt Jr.
Sex: male
Age: not given
Joke(s): Why don't the French eat M&M candies?
They're too hard to peel.
(41) Date: 19/02/03
Name: J P Adams
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert?
A Mirage
(40) Date: 18/02/03
Name: James
Sex: male
Age: 30 to 40
Joke(s): Another French Joke.....Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy.....To see all their other ships.
(39) Date: 18/02/03
Name: Steve
Sex: male
Age: 30 to 40
Joke(s): Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting without an accordian.
(38) Date: 18/02/03
Name: Denis Lutman
Sex: male
Age: 38
Joke(s): How did the French react to German reunification? They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers.
(37) Date: 18/02/03
Name: Handbatcave
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): What do you call a man who only needs body armour on his back? Jacques Chirac
(36) Date: 18/02/03
Name: Mike Daniels
Sex: male
Age: not given
Joke(s): Hi Andrew, (who?)
I think I have a good french joke for your website.
YEah!!!!
Here is a French joke man.
Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation:
The American: In my country we have buildings that are over 1000-floor high.
The German says: In my country, we have highways that go strainght for over a thousand miles.
The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 eagles can perch on it.
The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the truth:
The American said: you know, really, some of our buildings might go over 100-floor high, but no more.
The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles straight; but no more.
The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the 14th eagle has only one leg on it.
Take care
Mike
(35) Date: 18/02/03
Name: Frank Mills Sr.
Sex: male
Age: not given
Joke(s): A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"
(34) Date: 17/02/03
Name: Armani
Sex: male
Age: 21 to 25
Joke(s): Why is good to be french? You can surender at the begining of the war, and US will win it for you.
(33) Date: 17/02/03
Name: Erik
Sex: male
Age: 30 to 40
Joke(s): A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. It's never been fired but I heard it's been dropped once.
Thanks to Erik and the other fourteen (I counted them) people who sent this joke to me within the last 24 hours.
(32) Date: 16/02/03
Name: Sgt Scott W. Boudreau
Sex: male
Age: 30 to 40
Joke(s): President Bush and the french ambassador to the U.N. were debating the Iraqi crisis. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. He further explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the madman could result in a bloodbath. The french ambassador, although, did not understand. It seems there is no word for"bath" in french.
(31) Date: 15/02/03
Name: Rick Farrell
Sex: male
Age: 21 to 25
Joke(s): Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II????
A: Not Enough.
(30) Date: 14/02/03
Name: no name
Sex: male
Age: 15 to 18
Joke(s): Q. How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Five
one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing.
the second to turn tail and run.
the third to roll over.
the forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sconces.
and the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States.
(29) Date: 13/02/03
Name: TheAsianGuy
Sex: male
Age: Old as the hills
Joke(s): Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 forward. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the forward gear comes in handy....
(28) Date: 13/02/03
Name: not given
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): Remember it from just after the war, but it goes: The French; they are a funny race, they fight with their feet, and fuck with their face!
(27) Date: 13/02/03
Name: Brian
Sex: male
Age: 25 to 30
Joke(s): Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? A: Welcome!
(26) Date: 13/02/03
Name: MADMAN
Sex: Under 15
Age: male
Joke(s): Where can you find 90,000,000 french jokes? In France. (I don't think there are actually that many French people, but a nice joke all the same).
(25) Date: 12/02/03
Name: Jacob Appleby
Sex: male
Age: not given
Joke(s): Hey, I don't know if you've heard this one or not, but... Why do we need France on our side against Sadamm and Osama? So the French can show them how to surrender.
(24) Date: 12/02/03
Name: Todd Crabtree
Sex: male
Age: not given
Joke(s): What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead french man In the middle of the road? There's skid marks In front of the skunk.
(23) Date: 12/02/03
Name: Annalisa
Sex: female
Age: not given
Joke(s): A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only to find his bed with one sheet. He called the front desk and screamed "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". He was asked to check out of his room. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat in the hotel restaurant. Being European, he see expected to have both a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his table. This irked him, but he held his tongue. He ordered a "Patty Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. When she brought him his meal, he expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. He flew into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. OK? But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Right now! Will you do it?" The manager of the hotel was summoned and the garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound frogs somewhere else."
(22) Date: 06/02/03
Name: David Bruce
Sex: male
Age: 55
Joke(s): Sauna Summit in Paris
George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Parisian sauna. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound.
President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping stopped. The others looked curiously at him. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. "I have a microchip embedded under the skin of my forearm."
Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the ringing stopped. The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. I have a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand.
"By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of low-tech. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the sauna, but returned momentarily. When he returned, Bush and Blair both stared at him increduously.
It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Frenchman's posterior.
When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he feigned astonishment: "Marie sainte! I'm think I'm getting a fax."
(21) Date: 31/01/03
Name: Daleran
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): I got another French joke for you: Q: How many frenchman does it take to gaurd Paris? A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before
(20) Date: 29/07/02
Name: Andrew Tunks
Sex: male
Age: not given
Joke(s): I hope I am sending this to the right place, I was growing tired of looking for where to sign the guestbook or the French jokes page (despite its constant promise of a signing area). I am American by the way. Have fun : )
What color is the American flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the British flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the French flag? White.
(19) Date: 23/06/02
Name: not given
Sex: male
Age: under 15
Joke(s): What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army.
(18) Date: 09/03/02
Name: Dan Klein
Sex: male
Age: 15 to 18
Joke(s): HERES A JOKE!!!
Q:How do you castrate a frenchmen???
A:Kick his sister in the jaw.
(17) Date: 14/10/01
Name: hanson (mmm-bop!)
Sex: male
Age: Under 15
Joke(s): Y do frenchmen always were yellow tyes ? A: to match the teeth
Whats the best place to hide your money ? A: under the soap of a frenchman
(16) Date: 13/08/01
Name: Rose
Sex: female
Age: 18 to 21
Joke(s): I have a joke for you. A frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. the barman says "Thats an real ugle bird u got there. Where did u get it? The parrot says " i got it in France
(15) Date: 09/08/01
Name: Geoff
Sex: male
Age: 25 to 30
Joke(s): What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered during WWII? "Table for One Hundred Thousand?".
(14) Date: 16/07/01
Name: simon
Sex: male
Age: 18 to 21
Joke(s): Q-how can you tell if a frechmen has been in your backyard? A-your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant!
(13) Date: 25/04/01
Name: Matt X
Sex: male
Age: 30 to 40
Joke(s): Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
(12) Date: 23/03/01
Name: Jenny Davies
Sex: not given (but female one assumes...)
Age: not given
Joke(s): Q. What do you do if you see 90,000,000 dead french-men? A. Stop laughing and re-load!!
(11) Date: 14/03/01
Name: Anti-Christ
Sex: male
Age: 21 to 25
Joke(s): Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!
(10) Date: 20/01/01
Name: Mr Shadow
Sex: male
Age: 15 to 18
Joke(s): Q: What do you call 20 dead frenchmen in the back of a lorry. A: A good days hunting.
(9) Date: 17/01/01
Name: Guy Tanner
Sex: male
Age: not given
Joke(s): Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
Veni, Vermini, Vomui.
(8) Date: 16/12/00
Name: Matty boy
Sex: male
Age: 18 to 21
Joke(s): Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? A: REVERSE! Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowing? A: Chuck his wife and kids in aswell.
(7) Date: 16/12/00
Name: Steve Forster
Sex: male
Age: 17
Joke(s): Here are a few more jokes about the french from your friend, the funniest guy on the web, Colonelcomedy.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his licence to practice medicin? He was caught having sex with some of his patients. It's a shame, he was by far the best vet in town. What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? More sand.
(6) Date: 15/12/00
Name: Matty boy
Sex: male
Age: 18 to 21
Joke(s): Q: Why do French men have moustashes? A: To remind them of their mothers. Q: How long does it take a french woman to have a poo? A: 9 months
(5) Date: 12/12/00
Name: Steve Forster
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): Colonelcomedy has done it again and come up with another joke about those frnech idiots.
The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Pierre, it was rumoured, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.
Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Pierre showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."
The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what about the third condition. "Well," said Pierre, "you've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs."
(4) Date: 09/12/00
Name: Steve Forster
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): A psychology professor decided to study the way in which different people from different parts of Europe have sex with sheep. He traveled first to Wales, where he asks a farmer to explain his method: "Well, boyo, I put her back legs down my nice green wellies, grab her with me velcro gloves, and we're well away. Tidy!" The professor tries Scotland next "Hoots an' toots man, I put her back legs down my nice green wellies, grab her with me velcro gloves, and we're well away. Och aye tha noo!" The professor moves on to Germany: "Well, I find the most efficient way is to grab her with my velcro gloves, and we're well away. The professor is noticing a pattern developing, so he decides to try France, and then end his investigation. He stops a bloke by the Eiffel tower named Pierre, and asks him to explain the French method: "Well monsieur, I put her back legs down my nice green wellies, sling her front legs over me shoulders, and that's all there is to it!" The professor is excited to have found some national variation and tells Pierre that this is different to the methods of the Scots, Welsh and Germans. "How do they do it then?" asks Pierre, and the professor explains. Pierre on hearing the explanation walks of disgusted. "What! No kissing?"
(3) Date: 07/12/00
Name: Steve Forster
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): A FRENCHMAN named Pierre was walking through the small town he lived in with a friend. He pointed to a row of houses and says, "You see those houses? I built those houses! But do they call me Pierre the Housebuilder..No" They walked along a bit futher, and he points to a number of boats in the harbour. "You see those boats ? I built those boats! But do they call me Pierre the Boat Builder? NO!" Then he turns to his friend and says "BUT MAKE LOVE TO JUST ONE GOAT AND YOU ARE LABELED FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(2) Date: 29/11/00
Name: Steve Forster
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): Colonelcomedy is back with a great joke about the French, and this one is a real cracker. There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.' I told you it was a cracker!, what do you think of that one?
(1) Date: 28/11/00
Name: Steve Forster
Sex: not given
Age: not given
Joke(s): I hope this is doctor Sinister himself and not just one of his cronies. To prove my loyalty to the cause I have a selection of jokes about the french for you to enjoy. Q. What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? A. The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better. Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? A. So the Germans could march in the shade. Q. Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? A. Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished colouring in the second one ! Q. What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other? A. bisexual.