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Al Gore Joins Apple's Board Of Directors
zzxc writes "News.com.com reports that Al Gore has been chosen to be on Apple's board of directors. Apple has a press release with more information. According to the press release, 'Al brings an incredible wealth of knowledge and wisdom to Apple from having helped run the largest organization in the world--the United States government' and 'He has remained an active leader in technology--launching a public/private effort to wire every classroom and library in America to the Internet.' The inventor of the internet should be a valuable asset to Apple."
Just in!
Gore invents AppleTalk
Gore invents candy-colored computer
Gore invents small music player
Gore invents fast new web browser
Gore invents XUL (Hyatt mysteriously fired)
Gore invents new GUI for BSD
Between this and this, I had to check to see it wasn't April Fool's Day.
vote different.
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I'm sib888, and I approved this comment.
Apple's board should have chosen Crazy Eddie
That way Apple would be insanely great at insane prices.
SCO to Hell
I bet they go back to beige macs....
<monotone>And it went like beep beep beep</monotone>
Maybe he can get the Mac's marketshare recalculated!
The same joke was told 20 times in the space of five minutes. Said one poster, "It was like we all had the same idea , boy was it freaky." The impetus of the bizarre occurrence of synchronicty was a story about Al Gore becoming a member of Apple's board of Directors. "I mean, what's the chances that we would all have the SAME idea at the SAME time, it's not like this was an obvious joke," said one poster who declined to be identified. Another was heard to whistle underneath his breath and say, "That's it, I believe in God now." The Vatican was unavailable for comment, but a low giggle was heard to emanate from the Holy Sees residence at roughly the same period. Commander Taco, upon hearing this said, near tears, "It's like we told a joke that mad the whole world laugh, AT THE SAME TIME!" In other news, the much-heralded cliche filter on slashdot crashed at roughly the same time, though it could not be confirmed if the two were related.
after all he was vice president of the united states!
You need a better argument. After all, Dan Quayle was vice president, too!
0 1 - just my two bits
Ask him whether he prefers vi or emacs
If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
If by "flunked out of college" you meant "graduated cum laude from Harvard (1969), then from Vanderbilt Divinity School (1972), then from Vanderbilt Law School (1976)," you're absolutely right.
You tell me how "whilst" differs from "while," and I'll stop calling you a pretentious jackass.
I think I'll vote the Cowboy Neal option myself.
Protoplasm. Quiet Protoplasm. I like quiet protoplasm.
Buzzword Bingo: MIT's way of having fun when the 'most technologically savvy politician' visited the Institute for Commencement.
But later, in a surprise decision, the Supreme Court threw out the posting, and placed George W. Bush on the Apple board instead.
Upon hearing of the stunning turn-around, Gore refused to leave the Apple board room, clinging fiercely to the furniture and sometimes hiding under the board room table.
After seven hours, Apple security guards were finally able to remove Gore from the premises and send him on his way.
Gore was visibly shaken after the defeat and called it "a dark day for America," citing the line of environmentally-friendly computers he had hoped to encourage Apple to produce by a wave of his majestic hand. "I took the initiative in creating the Internet," said Gore, "and look what has become of it. Without someone to call new environmentally-friendly computers into existence by detached fiat, what will become of the American worker?"
Sources said Gore had returned home to begin regrowing his beard through a long, arduous process of sitting on the living room sofa for weeks on end and subsisting on a diet of Cheetos.
Whenever I turn on my iBook, this robotic voice says, "You are hearing me talk."
It suddenly makes sense, now.
If you need me, I'll be parked under the Sun Sphere.
The Apple press release goes on to say that Al Gore's membership on the board will be a unique one. His duties will involve presiding over board meetings and, yet he will only be allowed to cast a vote in the event of a tie between the other members.
Mr. Gore was quoted as saying "Damn it, not again!"
When I think of Al Gore and Apple together, why do the words "Runner Up" keep coming to mind?
You were joking right?
So you're going to boycott any company with assholes on their boards of directors, are ya?
Better start doing some serious investigating, since 99% of the big-boys in this country are gonna have someone that someone somewhere hates on their boards. Looks like you're gonna have a tough time buying anything in this country, and that includes sleeping, eating, hell, even wiping your ass after you crap.
Best of luck to you.
"That naive cube! How long must I suffer this!" --Sheldon J. Plankton
> Al Gore never claimed he invented the internet, and anyone who jokes about it is just showing their ignorance. (sorry timothy)
Well, ignorance OR perhaps that they have sense of freakin humor.
-=sig=-
I sent a similar email to friends. Here's my housemate's reply.
Don't you see?
Apple has always had a vision of a better world, but Steve was always too 'out there' to lead it. Now they have a leader, and they can start a new government of the world. In this new country (which as yet only has territory in the hearts of the faithful) everything works the way it ought to, peace and communication are the order of the day, republicanism is outlawed, and the new G5 clocks up to 28.6 GHz. California (with the exception of Orange County) will immediately secede from the Union and join the new government of the world. Others will follow. The most brilliant part of the plan is this, and it's clear that Apple has been setting this up for two decades now: In 6 months to three years, Microsoft will offer a markedly similar (although slightly inferior) government and the rest of the world will adopt it.
Peace and harmony reign!!!
Finally, it all makes sense.
Scott
I stole this sig from someone cleverer than me.
expect the end of all new and cool looking Apple products. Al Gore is the most dull person on the planet, expect a new Apple direction to reflect that. Maybe they'll go with the beige box idea, that's pretty well boring.
Well, they are designed to be easy to use. "Apatche web serva?! Can I c'ntrol our choppers from this?"