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Military Grade Laptops

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the when-cpu-comes-second dept.

bllb writes "Slate has an article about the "waterproof, vaporproof, shockproof" laptops the military is using. It's not at the cutting edge of performance, but it's nice to see some bombproof hardware." Most of the laptops I've owned over the years died through dropping or drowning, so maybe I should look into something a little more sturdy ;)

26 of 284 comments (clear)

  1. Yes, but... by dooby · · Score: 4, Funny

    Will they survive 20 minutes in a 400 degree oven?

  2. Be more careful! by name_already_taken · · Score: 5, Funny
    Or buy a Panasonic toughbook.

    Seriously though, I've owned laptops for about ten years now and I've never dropped one.Stop coating your hands with butter before you pick the laptop up!

    --
    Putting moderation advice in your .sig lowers your karma!
    1. Re:Be more careful! by wwwgregcom · · Score: 4, Funny

      That is what the Canadian Army uses. Rugged especially the CF-27 although the 28 is a bit less rugged.


      So what is that, a total of three laptop sales?

      Just a joke, I love Canada
      --
      What signature defines me as a person?
    2. Re:Be more careful! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Sorry, most slashdot readers are 500 pounds or heavier (thus impeding their manual agility) and their fingers are coverd in Cheeto dust and semen, so they can't really keep a hold of anything. Have some fucking respect for yourselves, you pear-shaped cum-gurglers.

  3. wtf?? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "We drop each one 54 times from one meter, bake it in an oven, chill it in a freezer, vibrate it, and submit it to a shower of hurricane proportions,"

    Who the fuck would buy a beaten up piece of shit like that??

  4. Nice! by fredrikj · · Score: 3, Funny

    But does it survive a BSOD?

    1. Re:Nice! by Ari+Rahikkala · · Score: 0, Funny

      I guess it was inevitable. Be happy for being the first one to post that, fredrikj, because the joke of the reliability of this laptop being compromised by it running Windows will be reiterated here approximately... hm... * glances at the clock * 1716 times.

      Oh, and to the mod who just said that the parent was overrated... it started at 1 and wasn't moderated yet. Redundant, perhaps, troll, yes, but it's not really overrated yet :p.

  5. Military computers... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I remember a Washington Post Article where some Marine Private was evaluating his 733t new computer. "I could beat someone to death with this battery pack..."

    1. Re:Military computers... by sql*kitten · · Score: 4, Funny

      I remember a Washington Post Article where some Marine Private was evaluating his 733t new computer. "I could beat someone to death with this battery pack..."

      There was an old story, possibly apocryphal, about the USMC evaluating a piece of kit from DEC. A marine driving a forklift accidentally dropped a fighter jet engine on it, but the VAX wasn't damaged. The Marine Corps signed the purchase order that day.

  6. "waterproof, vaporproof, shockproof" by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny


    OK, what about aweproof?

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  7. Military Quality Testing by hillct · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ss you want to sell laptops to the US Army?

    Yes, would you like to test it out?

    Yes, Put it over there.

    [Officer aims a rifle at the laptop and puts a hole the size of a small tangerine through the case]

    I'm sorry. Your product has failed our quality inspection. Have a nice day.

    --

    --Got Lists? | Top 95 Star Wars Line
    1. Re:Military Quality Testing by AHumbleOpinion · · Score: 2, Funny

      [weak humor]

      They get non-functioning replica's so they don't stand out to the snipers.

      You might think that's unfortunate since now a hardworking NCO or private may get hit. However if officers stood out we'd soon run out of West Pointer and 90-day-wonders from ROTC and then some NCO would get a field promotion, have to fill the whole in the org chart, and we'd start loosing the really useful people at too high a rate.

      [/weak humor]>

  8. Vaporproof (Re: Easy Karma) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    So these things aren't susceptible to running Duke Nukem Forever, eh? ;)

  9. Re:iBooks... by zozzi · · Score: 5, Funny
    FYI, iBooks are also very, very sturdy. Mine took a leap from a table (~3ft up) due to dog, and survived. And it was on, with the screen open, and CD-ROM drive out (It shootso ut form the side). And it landed on its side.

    Did the dog survive after all this???

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    ---
  10. Bombproof hardware? by CausticWindow · · Score: 4, Funny

    Since the US military never are the ones being bombed, but rather always the ones bombing.. what do they need this for?


    Part of their image I guess.. "Oh yes, we're getting bombed all the time".


    bomberclaad...

    --
    How small a thought it takes to fill a whole life
  11. Re:iBooks... by evilviper · · Score: 4, Funny
    Mine took a leap from a table

    My friend also sent his for a trip down the stairs

    Come on... admit it... There really is no friend is there... :-)
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  12. 54 times? by sczimme · · Score: 5, Funny


    We drop each one 54 times from one meter

    This seems rather time consuming. Why don't they just drop them once from a height of 54 meters? That would be the same, right?

    :-)

    --
    I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
    1. Re:54 times? by No.+24601 · · Score: 4, Funny

      and I'd be interested to find out what happens on the 55th drop :)

  13. Hmmm... by Planx_Constant · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can they perform "military grade" encryption?

    --
    Heisenberg might have been here.
  14. Ewww by huhmz · · Score: 4, Funny

    Most of the laptops I've owned over the years died through dropping or drowning

    Ewww Taco... That's a little more information than we needed thank you very much

    *goes to take long shower*

  15. Re:30%? by imsabbel · · Score: 5, Funny

    54 is such a strange number.
    I guess after the 55th drop it was dead :)

    --
    HI O WISE PRINCE. WHT TOOK U SO DAM LONG?
  16. Re:Reliable Hardware Platforms Deserve Solid Softw by hkon · · Score: 4, Funny

    The old Bell Labs standard called for 1/3 of system faults to be ascribed to hardware, 1/3 to software, and 1/3 to operator error. Most available operating systems clearly aren't there yet

    That doesn't sound quite right. At least, if the users at Bell are anything like the users where I work, hardware and software really have to fail a lot more frequently if they're going to keep up with the operator errors.
  17. Re:Clearly you don't understand by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    This is important when your LIFE may depend on that laptop.

    yes. i want to be able to play freecell if i'm stranded on a desert island.

  18. Re:Clearly you don't understand by spickus · · Score: 2, Funny

    "yes. i want to be able to play freecell if i'm stranded on a desert island." And if your consumer grade laptop fails, you will die of boredom.

    --
    Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  19. Re:i build similar machines by gorf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Are you sure? It seems like something broke your shift key...

    :)

  20. They forgot bulletproof by cryptor3 · · Score: 2, Funny

    If they're developing notebooks for the army, why not make this thing stop bullets, or shrapnel? What would be really cool would be if it could take a bullet without giving out. It would be even cooler if the bullet could go through the laptop and still run. Of course, then the thing would have to hook up to Skynet, too.