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Rick Berman: Enterprise May Not Suck Next Year
Steve Krutzler writes "Star Trek producer Rick Berman has made his latest comments in a new interview with a British magazine and he says the season finale of Enterprise ("The Expanse") will begin to change the ultimate mission of the show for the better: 'I think our final episode of the season is going to be quite startling because we're going to do a cliffhanger that will put a new twist on the series as it enters its third year.'"
Microsoft: Windows may not suck next year
KNW
"I don't really want to get specific about it, but we're not talking about a tiny change. We're talking about a change that is going to, to some degree, alter our mission"
Maybe Archer will change into a woman, he's touchy feely enough already.
in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
Archer wakes up with Suzanne Pleshette in his cozy bed. We realize the whole thing has been a dream and Archer is really a balding Chicago psychologist.
Time travellers from the future reveal that future Trek series will suck just as badly. In a last ditch effort to save Enterprise, the crew must travel back in time and assassinate Rick Berman.
Unbreakable toys can be used to break other toys.
Scene:
Enterprise Bridge. Archer occupies the captain's chair, his crew working busily around him. Archer suddenly sits bolt upright, and then sags as if exhausted.
Archer: I feel a great disturbance in the force.
Crew: The whaa?
My guess would be that they've finished the Saliban so its only natural to work on the next nemesis of the galactic peace, Piraq.
They're getting older though... It'd be "Star Trek: Seniors in Space". Although ST has been shit since DS9, I mean... Come on, It's ben way too much ficussed on "character building", I want some action too. I'm sure that even in the future normal human arrogance, greed and innate hostility still remain. Coupled with big-ass spaceships, this SHOULD make an excellent combo. Instead, we're getting to see how Sisco governs a space station with mentally incapable crew, a less annoying incarnation of Wesley Crusher and Silly Putty as a security officer, with the supporting cast of the one and only non-hostile Cardassian and a derelict Ferengi whose brother has the Ferengi equivalent of Down syndrom. Yay.
I'm not even going to mention Voyager. Come on, dealing with the Borg to attack another, even more powerful species and STILL win, with a ship that's build for long range exploration/scouting. I mean, Picard had his ass kicked by the Borg and that was the fcking FLAGSHIP. Also, Janeway is an idiot. "Oh no, we're 75 years away from home! Instead of the quickest route home, we'll visit every little cloud of dust we see and seriously ruin any culture we come across! Tally-ho!"
No more Star Trek for me, I'll miss Shatner and his magically ripped shirts, along with Patrick Stewart and his shiny dome...
Hate me!
Cliffhanger: Q appears and transports the enterprise into the Babylon 5 universe. Archer and Sheridan get into a fight, Archer dies. T'Pol falls in love with Sheridan. Delenn gets jealous and cat fight ensues.
Yada yada yada, the enterprise blows up.
T'pol and Archer have a baby together - and it's Kirk
The title should read:
"Rick Berman: Enterprise may not suck next year, but it probably still will."
Sorry for the mixup.
paintball
Why don't you send out a company wide email about how your boss sucks?
Wil can't really comment about stuff like this otherwise bad things will happen, like having all his scenes mysteriously cut from future movies.
Oh, wait...
I believe the original name for 7 of 9's character was "2 of 38". ;)
Of course, that could be because they were busy copying Babylon 5.... ;)
"Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised."
-Marilyn Manson
Archer:
tall man with glass jaw
why do you talk so strangely?
your father watches
Hoshi:
sad little Hoshi
Universal Translator
her only lover
Mayweather:
silent, empty chair
what is my function, captain?
the captain hears not
Tucker:
banjo pickin' boy
leave space before she bites you
on your redneck ass
Reed:
they are all your foes
you're only course, sacrifice
serve the greater good
Whenever the offence inspires less horror than the punishment, the rigour of penal law is obliged to give way...
We jump to the year 2258, 10 years after the Earth-Klingon war. Earth is enjoying a period of peace, albeit a fragile one.
A coalition of governments, led by the humans, have constructed a space station, let's call it Beladon 6. It is located in nuetral territory orbiting a planet called Eksilop 2.
The purpose of this station is to provide a place for humans and aliens to work out their differences in peace. It's a home away from home for diplomats, officers, wanderers, business people and others.
Jonathan Archer is put in charge of the station, at the request of the Klingons, which is kinda strange.
By the end of 2258, nothing is the same any more. The Klingon ambassador names Volann, has put herself into some sort of cacoon, and a mysterious alien presence has made an appearance. These aliens appear to be immensely more powerful than any other race around.
We then jump ahead to 2259, where captain Archer has, mercifully, been reassigned to duty on the Klingon homeworld. Strangely, the series seems to improve considerably after that. To replace him is captain Sherinnian, a war hero of the Earth-Klingon war.
About this time, Volann comes out of her cocoon and is a human-Klingon hybrid named Torres (no relation). We also meet a species called the Suliban who use technological means to simulate the effects of magic. We learn in a spin-off series of books that they were created by the mystery race to be weapons.
Sherinnian and Volann fall in love, get married and have a child, but who really cares about that crap anyway.
The mysterious alien race send an agent to speak to all the ambassadors on the station. Along with him are invisible members of the alien race, who we later find out has a name so long we could never pronounce it, so we just call them species 8472 (again, no relation).
Aaaanyway...
Sherinnian leads a coalition of the will... no, an army of light... no, a FEDERATION!, in a war against species 8472. We finally beat them by not fighting at all (don't ask), but we later find out that they had dark allies serving them that are just as dangerous, called the Borg. We'll be dealing with them for a LONG time.
There's also some crap a few seasons down the road about people with telepathic abilities, and Berman and Braga expertly set up a war between them and mundanes for the NEXT Star Trek series, which should start some time around Enterprise' fifth season.
Hmmmm... this all sounds kinda familiar actually...
Don't worry... at the end, Q shows up, resets the timeline and Enterprise goes back to sucking hairy moose cock again.
All I keep watching for is the slim hope that one of Hoshi's tits will pop out during a gel scene and the editors and censors will miss it.
God this show sucks!
If a pion (n-) collides with a proton in the woods & noone is there to hear it, does lamdba decay into the source pa