Posted by
CowboyNeal
on from the diary-of-a-madman dept.
bsadler writes "There is a pretty interesting article on the psychology of a programmer over at devx. It includes some suggestions that a manager might take into account when dealing with programmers. Maybe my boss will finally give me my own office."
Re:Gender blunder
by
Swift(void)
·
· Score: 2, Funny
I can see it now:
'MakeBelieve software employed its first female programmer last week. At around the same time, male co-workers were seen being taken to hospital by ambulance. High level sources tell us the shock of a female in such close proximity caused a wave of fainting, dizzyness and stuttering. Doctors we contacted remained tight lipped, only saying that the men were barely coherant and were being kept under close observation'
Re:It's not really psychology
by
arvindn
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Dead right. Often when I'm coding (mostly at home, being still a student) someone interrupts me with a question. I look at their face and stare blankly for a full 10 seconds. That's how long it takes me to get off my train of thought. And they often think I'm doing it on purpose, to irritate them:(
Why do people insist on using 'her' instead of 'his' for the generic pronoun?
Because they're writing about me.
I guess a male author planning this kind of article would prefer to imagine the situation involving female (in this case programmers) rather than males, unless they're gay or something.
Why do you think the shower was so important to the computer researcher mentioned in the article?
Re:On Saturday the Building is MINE!
by
CoolVibe
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Hey, maybe we should give any programmer his/her own building:)
Re:It's not really psychology
by
Bald+Wookie
·
· Score: 5, Funny
So then I have to focus on whatever interrupted me, while trying desperately to cling on to those ideas that didn't make it down to the keyboard before I was interrupted.
Sounds like you need to disable write caching.
Re:I felt like I just visited a shrink
by
An+Onerous+Coward
·
· Score: 2, Funny
if you sat enough monkeys at computers typing C, how long would it take until you get MS Office?
I think that's a really biased experiment. The monkeys in question should at least be given access to a full keyboard.
--
You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!
Here is the psychology of a programmer, as evidenced by experiments done by 1,943 different doctors.
The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
Quote from Seymour Cray
by
oaklybonn
·
· Score: 2, Funny
There are many legends about Seymour Cray. John Rollwagen, a colleague for many years, tells the story of a French scientist who visited Cray's home in Chippewa Falls. Asked what were the secrets of his success, Cray said "Well, we have elves here, and they help me". Cray subsequently showed his visitor a tunnel he had built under his house, explaining that when he reached an impasse in his computer design, he would retire to the tunnel to dig. "While I'm digging in the tunnel, the elves will often come to me with solutions to my problem", he said.
Well, he founded the company, so I guess he's entitled to be peculiar.
Slashdot Mirror
From the article: programmers usually do have a longer attention span and a greater ability to concentrate than the majority of the population.
I was going to try to figure out what the heck this guy was thinking, but I got distracted.
I got annoyed and stopped reading
I can see it now:
'MakeBelieve software employed its first female programmer last week. At around the same time, male co-workers were seen being taken to hospital by ambulance. High level sources tell us the shock of a female in such close proximity caused a wave of fainting, dizzyness and stuttering. Doctors we contacted remained tight lipped, only saying that the men were barely coherant and were being kept under close observation'
Dead right. Often when I'm coding (mostly at home, being still a student) someone interrupts me with a question. I look at their face and stare blankly for a full 10 seconds. That's how long it takes me to get off my train of thought. And they often think I'm doing it on purpose, to irritate them :(
Why do people insist on using 'her' instead of 'his' for the generic pronoun?
Because they're writing about me.
I guess a male author planning this kind of article would prefer to imagine the situation involving female (in this case programmers) rather than males, unless they're gay or something.
Why do you think the shower was so important to the computer researcher mentioned in the article?
Hey, maybe we should give any programmer his/her own building :)
So then I have to focus on whatever interrupted me, while trying desperately to cling on to those ideas that didn't make it down to the keyboard before I was interrupted.
Sounds like you need to disable write caching.
You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!
The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
Well, he founded the company, so I guess he's entitled to be peculiar.