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If I Had My Own Distro...
Gentu writes "Adam Scheinberg writes an interesting editorial explaining what he would do if he was a developer and he had a Linux distribution. His suggestions are pretty radical, and in places resembles of what Apple had done to MacOSX with the help of BSD as the underlying technology. But if this is what it takes to get Linux into the next level, it might worth the consideration."
Prediction: Linux From Stratch mentioned in first 50 posts.
I would call it "AssHat" and make it look like Windows but covered in tinfoil.
me karma am bad
Wait a minute here, I am confused. How could you not have your own distro, I mean, it seems that everyone else does.
Join Tor today!
OKAY
it would have AVRIL LAVIGNE
AND ICE CREAM
AND A SODA PUMP WITH UNLIMITED REFILLS
And UT2K on a BIG SCREEN
Also I wouldn't have to write shit in perl just to make it do stuff it should already do out of the box.
It would also be nice if I didn't have to go that scary admin with a huge UC Berkely Beard for advice (he smells like chlorine and fish).
P.S. ICE CREAM
Who are y oo ?
Prediction: Reply to parent will state that parent is a self-fullfilling prophecy.
paintball
My distro will also:
observe my web surfing habits, and automatically download buttloads of pr0n based upon my preferences
telecommute and perform all my tasks for me
make coffee for me in the morning
take care of 'morning wood' for me
b*tch out telemarketers who call
do my laundry
fix Wine so all Windows games work on it
and spam Microsoft when its idle
Hell if you're gonna fantasize, fantasize BIG!
If I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
I'd wanna support your mouse (I would really support your mouse)
If I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
I'd load a GUI for your mouse (Maybe KDE 3 or Gnome)
And if I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
Well, I'd autoprobe your hardware (Hey, that's a nice NVidia card!)
If I had a Linux distro I'd fill your drive...
If I had a Linux distro
I'd load every package under the sun
If I had Linux distro
C'mon, you know it'd be lots of fun
If I had Linux distro
Maybe we could put like a little tiny package manager in there
You know, we could just like, run the package manager
Like, look at all the names and stuff
There would already be a huge list and everything
Like little packaged apps and everthing
They have packaged apps but they don't have packaged distros
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah
If I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
Well I'd compile everything from scratch (Except Mozilla, that's just cruel)
And if I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
Well I'd include O'Reilly books (Yep, with the llamas and the emus)
And if I had a Linux distro (If I had a a Linux distro)
Well I'd install millions of games (Ooh, all them crazy Minesweeper clones!)
And If I had a Linux distro I'd fill your drive...
If I had a Linux distro
You'd have every GUI under the sun
If I had a Linux distro
Well you know you can't use just one
If I had a Linux distro
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we'd just eat less
'Cause we wouldn't be making a dime off this thing
That's right, we'd probably have to eat Ramen, actually
Mmmmmm, noodles
If I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
Well I'd update it every night (Just 'cause bleeding edge is cool)
And if I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
Well, I'd bloat the kernel to death (Video4Linux and throw in ALSA!)
If I had a Linux distro (If I had a Linux distro)
Well I'd include a monkey (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a Linux distro
I'd fill your driiiive...
If I had a Linux distro, If I had a Linux distro
If I had a Linux distro, If I had a Linux distro
If I had a Linux distro
I'd be killed.
--
Sorry, but as soon as I saw the title of this story this had to be written.
End of lesson. You may press the button.
NetBSD rules! Anyway, Gentoo Linux is an interesting new distribution with some great features. Unfortunately, it has attracted a large number of clueless wannabes who absolutely MUST advocate Gentoo at every opportunity. Let's look at the language of these zealots, and find out what it really means...
"Gentoo makes me so much more productive."
"Although I can't use the box at the moment because it's compiling something, as it will be for the next five days, it gives me more time to check out the latest USE flags and potentially unstable optimisation settings."
"Gentoo is more in the spirit of open source!"
"Apart from Hello World in Pascal at school, I've never written a single program in my life or contributed to an open source project, yet staring at endless streams of GCC output whizzing by somehow helps me contribute to international freedom."
"I use Gentoo because it's more like the BSDs."
"Last month I tried to install FreeBSD on a well-supported machine, but the text-based installer scared me off. I've never used a BSD, but the guys on Slashdot say that it's l33t though, so surely I must be for using Gentoo."
"Heh, my system is soooo much faster after installing Gentoo." .debs can be rebuilt with a handful of commands (AND Red Hat
supplies i686 kernel and glibc packages), my box MUST be faster. It's nothing
to do with the fact that I've disabled all startup services and I'm running
BlackBox instead of GNOME or KDE."
"I've spent hours recompiling Fetchmail, X-Chat, gEdit and thousands of other programs which spend 99% of their time waiting for user input. Even though only the kernel and glibc make a significant difference with optimisations, and RPMs and
"...my Gentoo Linux workstation..."
"...my overclocked AMD eMachines box from PC World, and apart from the third-grade made-to-break components and dodgy fan..."
"You Red Hat guys must get sick of dependency hell..." .rpms together on the command line, and that problems
hardly ever occur if one uses proper Red Hat packages instead of mixing
SuSE, Mandrake and Joe's Linux packages together (which the system wasn't
designed for)."
"I'm too stupid to understand that circular dependencies can be resolved by specifying BOTH
"All the other distros are soooo out of date."
"Constantly upgrading to the latest bleeding-edge untested software makes me more productive. Never mind the extensive testing and patching that Debian and Red Hat perform on their packages; I've just emerged the latest GNOME beta snapshot and compiled with -09 -fomit-instructions, and it only crashes once every few hours."
"Let's face it, Gentoo is the future."
"OK, so no serious business is going to even consider Gentoo in the near future, and even with proper support and QA in place, it'll still eat up far too much of a company's valuable time. But this guy I met on #animepr0n is now using it, so it must be growing!"
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It saves you money :)
(Note: I was once hardcore pro-mac. I like to think of myself as reformed now. ;)