Enterprise Getting New Aliens, Hairdos, Weapons

Steve Krutzler writes "The news about Enterprise's radical "new direction" for its third season is going mainstream on May 10th in TV Guide. Rick Berman reveals that the season finale will bring about major changes in the struggling Star Trek series for next year including new aliens, new weapons, new hairdos and a mission he calls a Star Trek "first."" I've felt like the show has been slipping all season, so here's hoping.

Comments

Borg

[dsyu]

Just somehow bring the Borg into an episode. That'll sell it. Oh wait, they're already doing that....

Re:Borg

[UniverseIsADoughnut]

"Even if this ep bombs, there's still some potential here. (Note: I'll never forgive Voyager for pussifying the Borg.)"

Actully I think most would agree putting some pussy in the borg was a nice move.

Re:Borg

[h3llfish]

Ok, a different timeline is one thing, but the word "before" just can't be correct. The whole enterprise series by definition takes place long after the time of Cochran and Company. Not before - after.

I understand what you're saying... you mean that from the point of view of Archer and crew, the past has not yet been sullied by the intrustion of the Borg and Picard. I'm not really sure what difference that makes though, since it's been established that Picard and co "fixed" the past so that it was close enough to what had originally occured that there were no significant differences.

That being the case, then why does it matter if Archer is in the same timeline or not? It's a given that the future can be changed... we've seen that again and again. So anything that happens to Archer has ramifications for all subsequent events. But if Berman was so bold as to say that events had become so messed up that all of the things in previous shows didn't happen, wouldn't we then have to form a mob and KILL him?

Shawn

A trekkie who has had sex with actual girls... and has the pictures to prove it.

A Star Trek "First"?

[Ieshan]

What's going to happen, a trekkie is going to lose his virginity?

Re:A Star Trek "First"?

[NineNine]

What's going to happen, a trekkie is going to lose his virginity?

Sure that could happen... in an episode where they travel to an alternate dimension.

Re:A Star Trek "First"?

[anonymous loser]

This is exactly why I watch the show. I like to think of it as Enterprise, starring Jolene Blalock's Ass.

Re:A Star Trek "First"?

[Motor]

You didn't see the trailer after last night's episode?

No... I'm in the UK.

Apparently they ARE going to involve the Borg.

Oh dear. They really do need new writers, don't they.

Re:A Star Trek "First"?

[Dark Lord Seth]

No, the Enterprise encounters a large unchartered cloud of hydrogen, helium and various heavy elements. Further scanning concludes, without any incidents happening, that the large cloud of hydrogen, helium and various heavy elements is indeed a large cloud of hydrogen, helium and various heavy elements. Or:

The Enterprise and her crew encounter a new species, who after careful consideration and non-rash diplomatic talks agrees to sign a peace treaty with the federation. Technology and businees booms as trade starts between the federation and the new species, who aren't afflicted with some sort of plague, who aren't warlike and who don't have any custms that piss of any runaway Federation captains with ships too small for their ego. Or either:

The Enterprise and her crew suddenly realize that time has shifted ahead one hour! After several days of frantic, though conservative research and violating NO protocols regarding temporal stuff, they simply realize the Federation has instituted daylight savings and the relevant subspace message got thrown away along with the usual spam messages by the captain.

Re:A Star Trek "First"?

[lobsterGun]

The only way the a Borg prequel episode would work would be if they were antiques Borg based on vacuume tube/hydraulic technology. Hell! even I would tune in for that!

[ excerpt from script ]
Evil Pre-Borg carrying a bicycle pump and a light bulb approaches a crewman.

Crewman: Dude! what the hell are you doing?

Pre-Borg: I'm assimilating you. Please do not resist (attempts to jam lightbulb into crewmans neck)

Crewman: OW! goddammit! enough with that lightbulb already!

Pre-Borg: It's not a lightbulb, It's a vacuum tube.

Crewman: Whatever Poindexter. (Punches pre-borg. The sound of glass shattering is heard)

Pre-Borg: Fuck! (slumps to the ground)

It's dead, Jim.

[whig]

says it all

Re:It's dead, Jim.

[CleverNickName]

More like:

"It's dead Jim, let's kick it around some more."

"It's dead Jim. But this is StarTrek, so we can solve the problem by 'modulating the frequency'."

More like, why don't YOU modulate the frequency, NERD?
(only funny if you are a regular reader of the Strongbad Emails, particularly this one.)

For everyone else:

Speaking from experience, I can tell you that the best way to fix any problem is to modify the sensor array to emit an inverse tachyon pulse into the heart of the anomaly.

Or go ask Data, but ask him while he's in the Holodeck playing Sherlock Holmes.

Sex it up!

[ChuckleBug]

Don't get me wrong - I like hot babes in form-fitting clothes and all, but after Seven of Nine and T'Pol, how about a hot babe with all the nice bits PLUS an actual PERSONALITY? Sure, the physical goods are there, but their behavior isn't exactly sexy.

"Captain, it is 1300 hours. Time for our afternoon copulation."

Then again, since ratings are down, try a proven formula: Have Archer shave his head, grow a beard, and bring in Worf!

Re:Sex it up!

[nurightshu]

The disturbing juxtaposition of the subject line and your last suggestion made me think of this.

Re:Please god,

[BabyDave]

Hey, it could be worse:

• [Archer] I'd like to introduce our newest crew member, Ensign Binks.
• [Binks] Meesa muy-muy pleased to meet allayousa
• [Trekkies everywhere] Right, where did I put that fully-functional replica phase pistol?

The Trek Sex Virus

[retro128]

Slipping is an understatement. Nothing says "it's over" like the crew encountering an alien race that requres a threesome in order to reproduce.

Seriously, if I wanted to see a bunch of oddly proportioned women who wear too much makeup getting it on with average looking guys, I'll watch a porn.

The only way

[actappan]

The only way to save enterprise is to put Archer in an orange sweatshirt and have him die every episode.

Re:Maybe partly off-topic, but

[nytes]

I just wish that in terms of production values: 1) They ditch the catsuit for T'Pol. No real Vulcan would dress like that...it's degrading.

I agree 100%. I wanna see T'Pol without the catsuit on!

(Sorry, that was just too easy to pass up :-)

Actually, that kind of makes sense...

[clambake]

You know, if you think about all the numbskulls on TNG that got assimilated, it only makes sense that their addition would have a negative impact on the collective... er, present company excluded?