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MS Says Longhorn To Arrive 2005

Lawrence Person writes "According to this article in PC World, Microsoft 'publicly confirmed 2005 as the release year for Longhorn, the successor to Windows XP.' And of course, we all know tha Microsoft release dates never slip..."

22 of 448 comments (clear)

  1. Activation?? by brandona788 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will we have to activate the box before we open it this time around?

    1. Re:Activation?? by PFactor · · Score: 5, Funny

      Microsoft is moving to "ProActiv-ation", where they KNOW you will install it on 69 different PC's, so the upfront retail cost will be roughly the GNP of Madagascar.

      --
      Don't believe anything I say. I crash test crack pipes for a living.
    2. Re:Activation?? by Brown · · Score: 5, Funny

      What, $9.95?

      - With apologies to the good people of Madagascar..

    3. Re:Activation?? by craigwilkie · · Score: 2, Funny

      The RFID tag in the bog...

      I don't know about your country, but toilets here in the UK aren't that technologically advanced yet.

    4. Re:Activation?? by Thud457 · · Score: 2, Funny
      Is there good money in that?

      What advice would you give to a young man interested in pursing a career in puppy-kicking?

      --

      the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

  2. zerg by Lord+Omlette · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's a relief, now I don't have to buy Windows Server 2003.

    --
    [o]_O
  3. Longhorn renamed: by PFactor · · Score: 4, Funny

    Windows 2006

    --
    Don't believe anything I say. I crash test crack pipes for a living.
    1. Re:Longhorn renamed: by pair-a-noyd · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wrong. The real name will be "Windows Beelzebub"
      Version 6.66

  4. Yeah, we know.. by M.C.+Hampster · · Score: 5, Funny
    And of course, we all know tha Microsoft release dates never slip...

    Yes, just like we know that Slashdot submissions never have typos.

    --
    Forget the whales - save the babies.
  5. Longhorn Code Complete! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Actually, the code is complete. It'll take the lawyers until 2005 to write the EULA that you have to agree to before installation.

    1. Re:Longhorn Code Complete! by JWhitlock · · Score: 5, Funny
      Actually, the code is complete. It'll take the lawyers until 2005 to write the EULA that you have to agree to before installation.

      Isn't it strange how much legalese it takes to say "Turn around, drop your pants, and bend over"?

    2. Re:Longhorn Code Complete! by Jord · · Score: 2, Funny
      Not to mention that they have to wait for the terabyte disks that will be required for a full install...

      ... of the EULA

  6. Re:In my day... by The+Bungi · · Score: 5, Funny
    blatent typos

    Well that's ironic.

  7. From the desk of the Microsoft Information Officer by BubbaTheBarbarian · · Score: 2, Funny

    Text of the article:

    Microsoft today confirmed that it's follow up version to windows XP, codename Longhorn, will be released in 2005.

    Information Minister Mohommed Saeed al-Sahaf said "Today is a great day for the nation of Microsoft. Our enemies call us the Beast of Redmond. Laugh now supplicants! Soon the Beast will impale you His Longhorn! The Sons of Bill rejoice, knowing the Penguin is too far from reality, with thier stomachs roasting and their processes committing suicide at the Gates of Redmond. Never will our dates slip, in fact, it will be ready by 2004. Even now it is ready, but we hold it back at our will!"

    Richard Stallman responded for the OSS community by replying "WTF? Where did they get this guy? Oh, patent on overlordish rhetoric? Sheeeeesh."

  8. Re:Where's the beef? by pair-a-noyd · · Score: 5, Funny

    Uh, maybe it means that you're going to get gored in the arse, just like when you mess with a bull.

  9. Re:Where's the beef? by leifm · · Score: 3, Funny

    I read somewhere that it's a bar near Whistler or Blackcomb, and fit in with the mountain code names they have been using for a while.

    --

    "Windows Me offers tremendous reliability and stability improvements..." -- Paul Thurott
  10. Re:Flashbacks by peaworth · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, it'll be in the top 20, anyway.

  11. Re:Competition by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    What kinds of features can we expect in Longhorn that Apple won't already have had for awhile by the time it ships?

    It'll work on a PC.

  12. So tell me... by Iamthefallen · · Score: 5, Funny
    "And of course, we all know tha Microsoft release dates never slip..."

    How's the HURD doing again?

    --
    Wax-Museum Fire Results In Hundreds Of New Danny DeVito Statues
  13. Cow metaphor? by zCyl · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Longhorn" is instantly recognizable as a well-known breed of cattle.

    To understand the choice of "Longhorn" as the product for the next version of Windows, let's consider a few well-known properties of cattle:

    1. Cattle are unintelligent.
    2. Cattle move slowly, and just look at you blankly when you tell them to move.
    3. Cattle are huge, consisting mostly of fat.
    4. From the perspective of cattle, the grass is always greener on the other side, so it's always worth upgrading to the next field. Although after you jump through the electric fence, you realize you didn't actually get anywhere better.

  14. when its done by t0ny · · Score: 2, Funny
    And of course, we all know tha Microsoft release dates never slip...

    And the next linux kernel is due out when?

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  15. PreActivation by DoraLives · · Score: 3, Funny
    Will we have to activate the box before we open it this time around?

    You will submit the proper documentations and proofs of identity (yourself, your family, your friends, your neighbors, your coworkers, and others to be determined by Microsoft as befits each individual activation of your New Microsoft Product)to activate your New Microsoft Product at least one year BEFORE you purchase it. Any Fraud, Attempted Fraud, Suspected Fraud or Contacts Leading To Suspicion Of Fraud discovered during Microsoft's routine vetting proceedures shall be forwarded to the Cognizant Authorities (Local, State, Federal, Trilateral Commission, Other) who shall exercise such measures as are deemed necessary to properly reeducate you and see to it that you activate your New Microsoft Product properly the next time.

    --
    Is it fascism yet?