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Six Monkeys And An Old Saw
Sayten241 writes "They say that an infinite amount of monkeys typing at an infinite amount of typewriters will produce literature greater than Shakespeare. Well, it has been proven that six monkeys and one computer will produce a computer that has been smashed with a rock, urinated upon, and four pages worth of the letter 's.' The end of the article states that scientifically this does prove that monkeys are more complex than random generators."
That sounds remarkably like a development team I worked with once.
(easy joke, but necessary)
"it was the best of times, it was the blurst of time"
You stupid Monkey!
p.s. FP?
Maybe they were just expressing their opinion?
Anyone who's ever had to provide tech support for a large number of college students could have described most of this behavior. The only thing missing is beer spilled on the keyboard the night before a big essay is due.
Didn't they learn anything from Terry Gilliam?
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
Duplicate articles, server crashes, misspellings...
Educated monkeys.
It still isn't Shakespeare.
I've always wanted to see how many monkeys and computers it would take to get one to produce Duke Nukem Forever. My guess is that the old Shakespear Rule would get us farther than 3D Realms have.
It's always interesting to see how science proves what probably anyone could have told you would happen if you put monkeys in a room with computers.
Who are we to judge poignant primates literature? They most certainly tried to write "Sleep dwell upon thy eyes, peace in thy breast.." but the "S" got stuck on the urine infested keyboard. I can only imagine their frustration.
--
We apologise for the inconvenience
The stupid researchers gave us a lousy computer, waaaaaaay outdated to do anything. For example, one of my concubine wants to play the game Quake3, but that damned thing does not even have a GUI! Pffft..
So what are we suppose to do? We did what any human would do : we shit on it. Because, adding pieces of shit to a piece of shit is not going to make it look any less bad than it already is.
Btw, I posted this using lynx and a stupid 14.4 modem that my resident science chimp had managed to hook together (Thanks Baba!). We tried for First Post, but some idiot beat us to it.
Yours,
Able,
Alpha Male Monkey,
Plymouth.
Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s". ... And the RIAA is now investigating to see if the monkeys have traded any copyrighted music files.
RFC2795
Also, bad redneck joke:
If you took an infinite number of rednecks and an infinite number of STOP signs and had them shoot at them with an infinite number of shotguns, would you eventually get a work of Shakespeare in Braille?
Well, it has been proven that six monkeys and one computer will produce a computer that has been smashed with a rock, urinated upon, and four pages worth of the letter 's.'
The computer was never actually hacked... hmm cracked... err broken into... was not taken over by a human remote attacker with their own computer trying to gain unauthorized privaleges on the machine! So we have conclusivly proven that six monkeys are more effective than MSCAs at keeping a computer intact^H^H^Hsecure!
I stole this Sig
With back orifice installed on the machine. Would have to have timed it right, when no one would notice, but something like this...
Day 1: That stupid zookeeper really pisses me off, giving us a machine running windows. Sure, we're a few million years slow in evolving, but goddammed, we're not *that* stupid. And on a Packerd Bell, no less.
Day 2: From our cage, I could just barely see the zookeeper molesting the goats in the petting zoo again. Sick.
Day 3: Was afraid that they might catch on to me, but seems they are illiterate. The animal feeder must have pissed on the keyboard again, and you know damn well we'll get blamed for that one. Oh well, I managed to pick his pocket and grab the Visa card. Won't his wife be shocked when she sees the 12,000UKP bill for www.hotmansex.co.uk.
Day 4: Managed to scrounge up some weapons grade plutonium, but this machine isn't fast enough to simulate the H compression in the elliptical chamber. May have to do the math in the dirt with a piece of twig. Next on list: Think of a way to frame some arabs for the detonation.
The other day at work, I tried to defecate on my workstation, but I couldn't figure out how to undo my belt buckle. I wound up with an unpleasant package to tote home. My project manager was so displeased that she threw her feces at me, screamed, and beat at her chest before jumping into a tree and vanishing.
Then the president of our company came, shot us all with tranqulizer darts, and when I awoke, I found that had been neutered.
Oh the pitiful life of a software developer.
HAHAHAHA LOLROTFLHAHA!1111 I MAKE JOKE SI TEH MICROSOFT! I SI TEH FUNNAY!11!
Lameness filter encountered. Post aborted!
"that's an awfully small data set"
Yeah, it wasn't even enough to determine whether they preferred vi or emacs. Or perhaps ed...
The dominant monkey obviously saw the threat of technology, they saw what it'd done to the more advanced "hairless" apes, they just didnt want to expose themeselves to Itnernet sweepstakes, deals on sharp kitchen knives, penis growth shams etc..
We can learn something from this Monkey.. only problem is a basic rock would do little damage to the IBM Model M keyboard im using..
Damnit IBM, damnit all to hell!!
-- If at first you don't succeed, lie!
When I found over 20 gigs of pr0n on his computer, I was able to diagnose what was going on. And then I threw up.
This is my digital signature. 10011011001
Dilbert: "So what do you think of my paper?"
Dogbert: "Well, it has been said that one thousand monkeys with typewriters, given infinite time, could eventually write the works of Shakespeare."
Dilbert: "What about my paper?"
Dogbert: "I'd give it 6 monkeys, 10 minutes."
Shame Microsoft clippy wasn't there to help them. "It looks like your writing the complete works of shakespeare"