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How to Become A Spammer

Posted by timothy on from the or-just-look-like-one dept.

permeablepdx points to this story in The Oregonian about how to become a spammer. Summary: "Local Oregon boy makes big bucks after learning from the Spam masters."

14 of 458 comments (clear)

  1. Text of Article, In Case of Slashdotting... by Murdock037 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Steps to become a better spammer:

    1. Insert head in ass
    2. Click "send"
    3. Profit!

    1. Re:Text of Article, In Case of Slashdotting... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      According to the article, he used to be a web designer. After seeing his site, I now understand why he was forced into a life of spam.

  2. In other news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Next week its how to be a pimp, followed the week after by "mugging for fun and profit".

  3. How do you... by bazik · · Score: 4, Funny

    "How do you torture a spammer" would be more interesting.

    Maybe tie him up on a light post and throw AOL CD's at him?

    --


    --
    One by one the penguins steal my sanity...
    1. Re:How do you... by TopShelf · · Score: 4, Funny

      Personally, I think it would be more dramatic to tie him down and place one AOL CD at a time on his chest, eventually crushing him under the weight of 100 million disks. Talk about bulk email!

      --
      Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
  4. In the article, it says... by DragonPup · · Score: 5, Funny

    He'd heard enough complaints about spam from his friends, but he never understood them. The junk mail his mail carrier delivers bothers him much more, Shiels said.

    "It costs money to be processed. And it's a waste of trees. It's intrusive as hell because you have to go through all of it. People don't get mad about that, and I don't understand why," he mused.

    Is anyone else thinking what I am thinking?

    --
    "Useless organic meatbag" -HK-47
  5. Server Crashes by micaiah · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Because the hyperactivity caused a crash about every other day, Shiels monitored the computers all day."
    Hmmm I guess the spam software is running on Windows.

  6. Best quote: by Saint+Aardvark · · Score: 3, Funny
    "I know this all sounds like you're hiding yourself and doing this illegitimately, but the reason you have to do it is everybody tries to shut you down," Shiels said.

    On another note, anyone got any idea where these "spammer clubs" he mentions might be? I got this new toy I wanna try out...

    --
    Carousel is a lie!
  7. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 4, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  8. Time for someone to go Cartman on him? by draziw · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wonder what his parents taste like?

  9. We'll Shock Your Heart ... For Pennies a Jolt! by WCityMike · · Score: 4, Funny

    Has anyone actually looked at what the business is that he's now in?

    > "Defibworld is an authorized provider
    > specializing in state of the art new and
    > pre-owned AED's and Defibrillators at
    > the lowest prices!"

    Just what I want some hospital to be shocking my heart with: a "pre-owned" defibrillator purchased "at the lowest price"!

  10. It's easy to become a spammer by Beryllium+Sphere(tm) · · Score: 4, Funny

    First you get bitten by an existing spammer, then you transform. You'll need to stay out of sunlight and avoid garlic, though.

  11. Article author by AEton · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Jeffrey Kosseff", jeffkosseff@news.oregonian.com, has written us a wonderful article short on facts and sadly devoid of technical information. This reminds me of one other Jeff K. I know--coincidence? Methinks not.

    --
    We recently had heard in the office over one of the Yellow Machine that's made by Anthology Solutions.
  12. Fear a 30 day warranty on a Defibrillator... by Dareth · · Score: 3, Funny

    Doctor: "I'm sorry, we did everything we could, but the damn defibrillator we bought from a former spammer wouldn't work."

    Patients Loved One: "Oh no... .. but .."

    Doctor: "Don't worry, it came with a 30 day warranty, we will get our money back."

    --

    I only look human.
    My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling