Slashdot Mirror
The Perfect Formula For Box Office Success
Julez writes "According to icLiverpool, the formula for creating the "perfect" film has been discovered by a UK academic. The research will be used to assess the potential success of possible film sponsorship deals.
Apparently, the perfect feature must have: action 30pc, comedy 17pc, good v evil 13pc, love/sex/romance 12pc, special effects 10pc, plot 10pc and music 8pc
"
i always thought it was an equal mix: The Destruction of Property, The Defiance of Authority, and The Removal of Clothing. Someone got paid for this? I'm in the wrong business.
How about 100% porn?
Did anyone else feel it was an insult to those with intelligence that plot took only an 8% grab?
Gee, I guess that means the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy is a tremendous flop, doomed to failure; it's got the whole thing backwards!
Any spoon would be too big.
38% Windows bash.
22% Linux worship.
16% Katz bash.
13% OS penis messuring.
8% punctuation correction.
2% spelling correction.
1% comedy.
1% math correction.
1% sig.
Neck_of_the_Woods
#/usr/local/surf/glassy/overhead
(Reuters) Further research also produced an Instant Film Generation Algorithm (IFGA). The Perfect Film Formula (PFF) was then programmed into the IFGA and the scientists were delighted to see Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope produced spontaneously.
Viewers of the IFGA/PFF results were astounded and enthralled until someone realized that popcorn hadn't been figured into the PFF. The project was scrapped.
Chris
That means that in a 90 minute movie you have 7.2 minutes where you don't see anything, just some black screen with music in the background?
These statistics are about as useful as toilet paper, if you catch my drift.
evil adrian
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
. fu nniest/
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/10/03/joke
GeekNights!
Late Night Radio for Geeks!
Search Google for "funniest joke", first item that comes up is the joke in question.
JP
Anyone else feel that the Matrix Reloaded Heineken commercial just makes the Matrix franchise appear "cheap"?
What, you mean in a way that the videogames, comic books, cartoons, action figures and Carrie-Ann Moss dipped in latex do not?
Xulux writes "According to icBloodyWankers, the formula for creating the "perfect" Slashdot Story has been discovered by a UK pompus-git. The research will be used to assess the potential success of possible Slahvertisements(TM). Apparently, the perfect story must have: troll 30pc, childish humor / potty words 17pc, Nazi MS Users v Commie Linux Users 13pc, pr0n/goatse.cx/ASCII-porn 12pc, 'special' spelling 10pc, grammer 10pc and Katz 8pc "
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
action 1pc
comedy 0pc
good v evil 1pc
love/sex/romance 1pc
special effects 1pc
plot 0pc
music 0pc
water 96pc
I'll do it for cheesy poofs.
Funny, I don't recall a whole lot of love/sex/romance unless you count the Potatoheads getting it on in the Lincoln Log cabin early in the movie...
Happiness is like peeing yourself. Everybody can see it but only you can feel its warmth.
[Silverman draws a standard dog]
Myers: No, no, no! He was supposed to have attitude.
Silverman: Um... wh-what do you mean, exactly?
Myers: Oh, you know, attitude, attitude! Uh... sunglasses!
Lady: Could we put him in more of a "hip-hop" context?
Krusty: Forget context, he's gotta be a surfer. Give me a nice shmear of surfer.
Lady: I feel we should Rasta-fy him by... 10 percent or so.
[the resulting dog is rather... proactive]
[all stare at it w/o any expression]
Myers: Hmm... I think he needs a little more attitude. [Silverman blackens in Poochie's sunglasses]
All Three: [variously] Oh, yeah, bingo. Yeah, that's it! There it is, right there! I love it!
-- Another cartoon character created in less than 15 minutes,
"The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"
Reminds me of my plan to sculpt a movie designed to get exactly zero points on the capalert scale: 15 minutes of wanton violence/crime, followed by 15 minutes of Impudence and Hate, 15 minutes of Sex and Homosexuality, etc...
Al Qaeda has ninjas!
But I want to know why you do think Halle Berry silicone boobs are best than the other actresses' silicone boobs. Then we can partner in making Better Silicone Boobs!!!
It's better to be the foot on the boot than the face on the pavement. ~~ tkx Kadin2048
His keyboard '5' key is probably broken. This conjecture is supported by lack of the digit '5' in all the percentages he listed.
Lisp is the Tengwar of programming languages.
Nothing pulls *me* out of a movie faster than an usher who just found out I don't have a ticket.