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How to Fake A Hard Day at the Office

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the just-get-my-job dept.

futileboy writes "There's a great article in the WSJ about how to use technology to avoid work, while giving the impression of working. At the bottom of the article is "A beginner's guide to making it look like you're working when you're not." "

16 of 540 comments (clear)

  1. A beginner's guide to masturbation by linuxbaby · · Score: 5, Funny

    Having this story posted on Slashdot is like having an article on a paid porn site called, "A beginner's guide to masturbation."

    1. Re:A beginner's guide to masturbation by The+Clockwork+Troll · · Score: 5, Funny

      Speak for yourself - some of us are hard at wank here. Uh, I mean jerk, er work.

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    2. Re:A beginner's guide to masturbation by Doctor+O · · Score: 5, Funny
      Wait a minute... are you talking about avoiding work or masturbation?

      Nah, avoiding masturbation is way too easy. All it takes is Goatse Man and Tub Girl. I guess they'd make a wonderful couple.

      --
      Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
    3. Re:A beginner's guide to masturbation by realdpk · · Score: 5, Funny

      "And, gosh, am I tired of watching tail -f /var/log/all and tail -f /var/log/smail/logfile on one screen while reading /. and claiming it's "research for the project" on the other."

      That's the strangest masturbation method I've ever heard. It's probably tiring from the lack of boobies to stimulate.

  2. Faking? by joelt49 · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you use MS products to try and fake a hard day at the office, it would probably just be easier to put in a good, honest day's work.

  3. Dilbert by jfedor · · Score: 5, Funny

    Learn from the best, learn from Wally.

    -jfedor

  4. Become a consultant by Isca · · Score: 5, Funny

    Add a bunch of fancy titles to your name, including every known Microsoft cert you can get by using cram session, and maybe some of the new Linux certs as well--- and "consult".

    Leave the real work for the grunts whom you are helping, and learn how to ask open ended questions to techs who don't express themselves like "normal" people do, so that they come up with their own answers. Don't forget, if you get into a bind, you can always check your resources and go ask on the internet, and just bring them back the emails/posting using the biggest words. More than likely this will cause a light bulb to go off above those tech's heads, and they will go code away for you. (While you consult with that cute secretary down the hall, of course!)

  5. Grrr by mcpkaaos · · Score: 5, Funny

    Damnit, my boss is a /. reader. Thanks for blowing my cover Taco! =P

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    mcpsoaak

    --
    It goes from God, to Jerry, to me.
  6. How I fool people into thinking I'm in the office. by dogfart · · Score: 5, Funny
    I use remote control software to get my PC to play an audio file of snoring right after lunch. That way everyone will think I'm right here in my office, taking the usual nap.

    --

    "dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope"

  7. Amateurs by Pointy_Hair · · Score: 5, Funny

    Regular readers of the WSJ don't need this advice any more than /. readers.

    Most have trancended to such an advanced state of slacking that they can appear/disappear at their desks at will. They can read e-mails via mind control, and need no lowly cheater devices. Mere mortals fear their omnipresence! Bwahahahaaahahaa!

    I don't know why I know that.

  8. Definition of Ironic by planux · · Score: 5, Funny

    Irony: When slashdot posts an article about avoiding work.

  9. caught in the act by brer_rabbit · · Score: 5, Funny

    the other day I was playing nethack at work, thinking that if I'm going to play a game it ought to be one without fancy graphics or anything too out of the ordinary from typical unix like work.
    A couple minutes later the boss walks by my desk, drops his jaw in amazement and says, "Is that Rogue???" He was fairly impressed having not seen the game in years and asked for a copy of the source code.

  10. I'm a Diehard Slacker.... by R33MSpec · · Score: 5, Funny

    Typically, if you haven't touched your computer in a while, the people you chat with online see an "idle" message next to your name. Diehard slackers can crack into the program settings to make themselves appear perpetually available.

    Sheesh, in MSN you can "crack" this setting by going into Options and unchecking the checkbox for 'My Status'

    i.e. setting "Show me away when i'm inactive for 'x' minutes.

    I wish 'cracking' other Microsoft products were this easy ... hang on ...

  11. Re:My favorite way to kill time by anonymous+loser · · Score: 5, Funny

    [sound of door hitting me]
    Me: *groan*...oh, hi Bob, I was just picking up some paper clips!
    Bob: Do you realize you have 3 of them stuck to your face?

  12. Re:easy by Luigi30 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't feel like watching it. It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

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  13. This article was actually 'ghost written' ... by drgroove · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...by Jason Blair, formally of the NYT