Slashdot Mirror
A Brief History of the Internet
Ant writes "'Many young people around the world use the internet every day, and yet they have no memory of the history that led to the creation of the global network. Many have no understanding of how or why the internet has developed. As part of out continuing efforts to combat ignorance around the world, The Lemon is proud to present this timeline...'"
Once upon a time, there wan an Internet. Along cam Slashdot... phut - the internet got slashsdotted.
The rest, as they say, is history.
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
... I met a shady character in a bar, and he told me that one day machines would rule us with twisted-pair whips.
It took me years to figure out what he meant.
Damn those corporate drones in middle management.
That's a funny site :)
Never, ever lose a file again. Ever.
Im dreaming ofa big bndwdth, That can resist the
I still don't get the "lemon" part though... all they talk about is apple, nothing sour in that ;)
Music is the language of the heart, the sound of the soul. -Joe Satriani
Al Gore....duh!
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
And I thought the internet just evolved from multinode BBSes running WildCat and Discussion Board Sync software.
:)
Who knew?
Im dreaming ofa big bndwdth, That can resist the
Al, stop posting here.
I always thought that the Internet was invented by Microsoft and shipped with Windows 95.
Summation 2
Speaking of which, Today's StrongBad Email...
maybe we should remember ww2 instead of this shit
1969: x10 proposes a world wide computer network capable of poping up advertisements on users workstations. The DOD shows interest and tags the name ARPANET on it.
1981: Lary Flint and other Porn big shots support the effort.
1982: IBM turns down an offer to control the new born ARPANET, they're too busy licensing C:\>.
1986: Buttered popcorn beats out Gummy Bears by 20% in the first ever international email survey. Thus spam is invented.
1989: Playboy releases first ever Playmate gallery in ASCII on Gopher.
1991: Al Gore changes the name of the project by inventing the term "internet". Later NCSA releases the first browser, mosaic.
1993: The warez pups populate the Internet with copies of Doom and give users a reason to get online.
1994: The motion picture "Hackers" captures audiences with its amazing 3d representations of the internet, thus VRML is invented.
1995: Windows 95 hits store shelves hyping Plug and Play. ISA 28.8's fly off the shelves.
1998: Windows 98 is released with an integrated web browser, courtesy of Microsoft, and everyone forgets who Netscape is.
2000: Slashdot posts a story about about how cool slashdot is, and is instantly slashdotted as people reload the page.
2002: Grandma finally gets it when you tell her the internet isnt on the AOL cd she got in the mail.
2003: Linux becomes THE buzzword, instantly making it the #1 os to brag about and will inevitably dominate the desktop forever. Resistance is futile.
2004: Since AOL decides not to port AOL 8 to Linux the huge ISP fails and Time Warner starts talks with X10 about new and improved "Popup Commercials" for Cable TV.
Of course I missed a few minor things, like how WAP became the dominant authoring language, IRC put AT&T and MCI out of business, and how SCO ranted and raved about nonsense until they were beaten by a giant penguin.
Im dreaming ofa big bndwdth, That can resist the
Hopefully his imagination has improved over the years... If not, he's probably just as fed-up as me.
So, is that like poor mans tneonion.com?
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
A: The internet was invented. It was all text.
B: The web was invented. It had pretty pictures. Some people thought they could make money from it. They failed.
C: Spam and pop-ups.
The end.
The Internet is generally stupid
Stop being such an asshat.
(Show me one person who has a usefull use for spreadsheets ... )
Diablo 2 modders, who else?
People replying to my sig annoy me. That's why I change it all the time.
Since its inception almost 30 years ago, the internet has been transformed from a primitive device for sharing thoughts and ideas, into a massive network where people pay to connect and read advertisements they don't want, while calling each other "asshats".
Sounds painfully like Fark.com to me.. and to a lesser extent, Slashdot.
Everything in the world is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one you know belongs.
If it wasn't for Gutenberg, we'd have no 'Police Academy'. Let's give the guy some credit.
Hmmm.
2.5 million B.C.: OOG the Open Source Caveman develops the axe and releases it under the GPL. The axe quickly gains popularity as a means of crushing moderators' heads.
100,000 B.C.: Man domesticates the AIBO.
10,000 B.C.: Civilization begins when early farmers first learn to cultivate hot grits.
3000 B.C.: Sumerians develop a primitive cuneiform perl script.
2920 B.C.: A legendary flood sweeps Slashdot, filling up a Borland / Inprise story with hundreds of offtopic posts.
1750 B.C.: Hammurabi, a Mesopotamian king, codifies the first EULA.
490 B.C.: Greek city-states unite to defeat the Persians. ESR triumphantly proclaims that the Greeks "get it".
399 B.C.: Socrates is convicted of impiety. Despite the efforts of freesocrates.com, he is forced to kill himself by drinking hemlock.
336 B.C.: Fat-Time Charlie becomes King of Macedonia and conquers Persia.
4 B.C.: Following the Star (as in hot young actress) of Bethelem, wise men travel from far away to troll for baby Jesus.
A.D. 476: The Roman Empire BSODs.
A.D. 610: The Glorious MEEPT!! founds Islam after receiving a revelation from God. Following his disappearance from Slashdot in 632, a succession dispute results in the emergence of two troll factions: the Pythonni and the Perliites.
A.D. 800: Charlemagne conquers nearly all of Germany, only to be acquired by andover.net.
A.D. 874: Linus the Red discovers Iceland.
A.D. 1000: The epic of the Beowulf Cluster is written down. It is the first English epic poem.
A.D. 1095: Pope Bruce II calls for a crusade against the Turks when it is revealed they are violating the GPL. Later investigation reveals that Pope Bruce II had not yet contacted the Turks before calling for the crusade.
A.D. 1215: Bowing to pressure to open-source the British government, King John signs the Magna Carta, limiting the British monarchy's power. ESR triumphantly proclaims that the British monarchy "gets it".
A.D. 1348: The ILOVEYOU virus kills over half the population of Europe. (The other half was not using Outlook.)
A.D. 1420: Johann Gutenberg invents the printing press. He is immediately sued by monks claiming that the technology will promote the copying of hand-transcribed books, thus violating the church's intellectual property.
A.D. 1429: Natalie Portman of Arc gathers an army of Slashdot trolls to do battle with the moderators. She is eventually tried as a heretic and stoned (as in petrified).
A.D. 1478: The Catholic Church partners with doubleclick.net to launch the Spanish Inquisition.
A.D. 1492: Christopher Columbus arrives in what he believes to be "India", but which RMS informs him is actually "GNU/India".
A.D. 1508-12: Michaelengelo attempts to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling with ASCII art, only to have his plan thwarted by the "Lameness Filter."
A.D. 1517: Martin Luther nails his 95 Theses to the church door and is promptly moderated down to (-1, Flamebait).
A.D. 1553: "Bloody" Mary ascends the throne of England and begins an infamous crusade against Protestants. ESR eats his words.
A.D. 1588: The "IF I EVER MEET YOU, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS" guy meets the Spanish Armada.
A.D. 1603: Tokugawa Ieyasu unites the feuding pancake-eating ninjas of Japan.
A.D. 1611: Mattel adds Galileo Galilei to its CyberPatrol block list for proposing that the Earth revolves around the sun.
A.D. 1688: In the so-called "Glorious Revolution", King James II is bloodlessly forced out of power and flees to France. ESR again triumphantly proclaims that the British monarchy "gets it".
A.D. 1692: Anti-GIF hysteria in the New World comes to a head in the infamous "Salem GIF Trials", in which 20 alleged GIFs are burned at the stake. Later investigation reveals that many of the supposed GIFs were actually PNGs.
A.D. 1769: James Watt patents the one-click steam engine.
The email message wasn't "Let me know when you're there so I can call you".
The phone message was "Did you get my email".
When VPNs are outlawed, only outlaws have VPNs.
Before the Internet, computer users enjoyed frequent crashes, lockups, bizarre messages, infinite loops, and freezes that required the three-fingered salute.
Then along came the Internet, where everything was in HTML, which had none of these problems (the worst that could happen was a screen that looked bad).
But then along came Java and Java Script, and the Internet has "caught up", so now web pages are full of frequent crashes, lockups, bizarre messages, infinite loops. Once again computer users can enjoy when they were used to in the pre-Internet days. No longer are they in an environment free of the mistakes of bad programmers .
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
what do you mean - "did not invent the internet"? Of course he invented it!
Haven't you heard it's all based on Al-Gore-ithms?
The One Rule Of Chess You'll Ever Need: Don't play someone who carries a kit in their bookbag.
He was sponsoring it years before any other legislator had even heard of it. I'd lay even money that he was sponsoring it before you heard of it. You were probably still watching Sesame Street when Gore was sponsoring the internet.
remember when 300 baud was fast, 110 baud was normal, and only rich people had 1200 baud modems ...
...
and
WE LIKED IT!
> --- All Of The Above --- >