Slashdot Mirror
Trend Micro Quarantines Letter P
kkenedy writes "I thought this was the funniest thing I have read in a long time: CRN reports that a bug in an update to one of Trend Micro's security products inadvertently blocks all incoming e-mail containing the letter P." Makes me glad I don't use it, else I wouldn't get any mail, purely on the basis of my surname.
First ost, first ost!
Wenn ist das Nunstueck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
Emails telling me that I can enlarge my penis...
Non impediti ratione cogitationus.
eter ier icked a eck of ickled eer :)
if eter ier icked a eck of ickled eer
wheres the ickled eer eter ier ecked
Kingdom of Loathing (www.kingdomofloathing.com) Addicted is me
Sources within the company say that the bug is not the result of an unfortunate typo, but rather the outcome of an anti-spam filter which was intended to remove all obscene references to urine from email. The National Association of Urologists and Endocrinologists is up in arms.
"Why Subscribe?" Good question...
"In the United States, customers have been contacted directly via e-mail, and we've notified the reseller channel."
;P
Wonder if those mails had the letter
Would you like to have a larger qenis?
Men, are you sick and tired of women sighing with disaqqointment when you take
off your trousers?
Doesn't it really qiss you off?
Well now with new QENISGROW2000, (a unique herbal remedy) you can have them
GASQ when you UNSHEATH your manhood.
grasqee
Neal doesn't have a p in it.
Your name is Cowboy Neal, is it not?
Ummmm, like time to expand your horizons maybe?
Our corporation has incorporated some content inspection product for email. After doing so, a certain employee stopped receiving emails. It turned out that it was because he had "shit" in his name ;-)
From: suort@microsoft.com
Here's a link to our latest Service Ack for the Windows X Oerating system. lease download this 550MB Service Ack, and all your roblems will be solved.
Eole (figure this one!) with NT4 and below will not be suorted. The rice for this roduct under Subscrition Advantage will be $100 er year er license.
Issued in ublic interest by the Entagon.
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
You mean their QA actually signed off a product that rejected p but accepted 25 other potentially dangerous alphabetical characters ? The mind boggles. The only way to be safe is to block all the evil characters and let the digits through
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
Fighting spam is simple, or so it seems. A fourth of all spam is easily removed by filtering the p. When (Uncle) Sam is removed from the picture, all Sam will be eradicated.
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
"...customers have been contacted directly via e-mail..."
;]
How do you tell customers you sold them faulty software that blocks the letter P in emails, without actually putting the letter P in the email you are using to notify them ?
Suggestion - the problem affects all mails that contain the letter after O and before Q
of a problem a the local government of Scunthorpe (UK) had recently. Their obscenity checker balked at a substring of the town name.....
Due to recent a recent bug, any emails containing the letter 'P' have been filtered by an update to our software.
You can recover your email from the 'Quarantine' folder.
We are sorry for any confusion this might have caused, and include the missing material below:
Please insert as required.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
pppppppppppppppppppppp
I always wondered what Sesame Street would be like if Monty Python bought them!
English -- gotta love it! / The engineers refuse to refuse the rocket until the refuse is removed from the launch pad.
A certain unnamed tester at Trend Micro was given the _ink sli_
Yet Socrates himself is particularly missed.
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.
you s_elled both _leasure and _erversion incorrectly
That was classic intercourse!
It's not s\0x71am, it's "unsolicited bulk email". Now we know the motivation behind this renaming... ;-)
This brings to light a whole new world of _ossibilities.
What other letters would slashdotters like to see disa_ear?
Many _eople will vote to lose the letters MS so here they go never to return in _o_t_ on _la_dot.
Over the la_t few week_ many have _uggested that the letter_ _CO sh_uld never been _een again. __ here they g_.
___e here d_n't like the letter_ B_D __ there they g_.
unf_rtunatly we are n_t left _any letter_ t_ use for variable_ and ___n all the i'_ and j'_ will used u_.
_n_e we _tarted to l__e all the v_wels in our __st_ thing_ g_t even wor_e.
_v_nt_lly th_ __n_t_nt_ w_nt __ w_ll _nd l_ft _s w_th v_ry l_ttl_ l_ft.
_____ ___ _ __ ___ ___ ___.
_______
blog and junk
is removed, I believe. Here's the effects on some of the mails:
...
1. Sent thru Microsoft Assport - your secure login to the e-world.
2. I assed my MCSE exams.
3. Laying with colleagues might land you in harassment charges.
4. All work and no Lay makes Jack
5. Boys and Girls, come out to lay
The moon does shine as bright as day!
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
All this talk of P blockage makes me... um...
S'cuse me, gotta go!
Bush should have died, not Reagan -- Morrissey
Morrissey rides a cockhorse -- The Warlock Pinchers
"We wanted to be as open as possible about this," he said. "In the United States, customers have been contacted directly via e-mail, and we've notified the reseller channel."
I can see the email now -
"Due to an error in our most recent update, e-mails containing a certain letter are now blocked. We can't tell you which one. Really. But make sure you u . . . reset your security setting ASA . . err really quickly.
Listen - just do it right now - this is embarrassing.
Thank you - Trend Micro"
An Invisible Entity of Vast Power whose existence must be taken on faith alone: Liberal Media
me thnks wld b btr 2 rmv th vwls.
The only emails with vowels are spam... I work at a school. Damn mobile phones.
could you write most emails without using that letter?
Or Slashdot comments for that matter. (I'm doing fine so far) Maybe one could discard that letter totally. It's clearly just redundant.
What about writing an entire novel without using the most common letter of the english (or french) language ("e")? Take a look at "The Void" ("La Disparition") for example.
How small a thought it takes to fill a whole life
Mr. Burns: Okay, let's make this sporting, Leonard. If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter "E", you can keep your job. Lenny: Ah... okay...um... I'm a good work... guy... Mr. Burns: You're fired. Lenny: But I didn't say--! Mr. Burn: You will... (OPENS TRAP DOOR) Lenny: Eieeeee-e-e-e-e-e-eee!
Perpetrated by the letter H and the number 5!
Laws are for people with no friends.
They had to retract the use of the letter P due to pending legal action by SCO who claim that they orginally came up with most of the letter P and the number 3 and the semicolon... but the Spelling Community thinks that with proper replacements for the copywrited characters, the whole desperate affair can be largely ignored.
Windows XP SP2 told me to install third-party software that prevents viruses and protects stability... I chose Ubuntu
Nobody had bothered to teach us about debuggers at that stage, so we tried our best inserting diagnostic printf's everywhere, but despite days of searching we could never find what was causing it. In the end, we inserted some code to count to where the end of the string should have been and replace the "p" with a null character.
We got marked down anyway. I still have the source code somewhere, but I haven't dared to look at it for fear of provoking the code gods ... :/
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
--Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
Hmmm...
:p
Ya think the folks at Sesame Street would be upset by this??
Brought to you by the folks calling for the release of the letter P
I had a keyboard which had a bad 'F' key so I have to spell everything with 'PH' like "phat chance". If I was still using that keyboard I would have been in some serious trouble.
From excellent karma to terible karma with a single +5 funny post...
I have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. I would like a filter like that for my swimming pool.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 915: Never do business with anyone with the letter "P" in their name.
It took them an hour and a half to compose a warning EMail to their customers that didn't have the letter P in in anywhere.
I am NOT a man!
I am a free number!
Dear Trend Micro:
.
You guys are oo heads for ushing out this stu id screwed u u date.
Your develo ment team is a cra y bunch of oor rogrammers and your
roduct is is ile of cra
lease iss off.
Signed
U set customer
We used Trend Micros product on Exchange and suddenly noticed that it was dumping a lot of resumes into the trash as they came in. And it was only the best resumes that it was trashing.
Want to guess what was offensive?
"Magna Cum Laude"
Umm, how funny is that?
what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?
1. create virus scanner
2. sell the software
3. release files to make software current
4. ?
5. ?
6. rofit
Damn, I thought it was the erfect lan
From the article : In the United States, customers have been contacted directly via e-mail
Does the email sent to customers contain the letter P? How can one describe the problem without using the letter P?
"There is a problem^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hissue with emails containing the 16th letter of the alp^Hfabet. You are advised to update^H^H^H^H^H^Hdownload the latest patch^H^H^H^H^Hfix from our website at http://w^Hoh damn!"
You make the mistake of thinking you can educate the fundamental stupidity out of people. You can't.