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Shocking Clothing
harmonics writes "This is absolutely hysterical, it seems a "No-Contact Jacket" has been developed for women by MIT. This thing carries enough voltage to knock you on your duff (80,000 volts), and is decently stylish too. Now to find out how I can get my wife one. Just don't wear it in the rain!" The real question is whether the submitter knew the origin and full meaning of the word "hysterical".
I asked a geek "Do you have a girlfriend?". He responded with a very puzzled look. "A girlfriend?," he mused, "Who is the developer?". I chuckled and told him this was not an open source project. He then became slightly angry and told me "Are you trying to insult me? Only the best geeks use open source only!". I reassured him I was well aware of his integrity as a geek (white skin, clumsy, pants that are too short, lack of daily shower, etc), but a girlfriend is a female who to a male (most oftenly a male) has an intimate friendship. He gave me a very confused look. "I have never heard of such a thing.. this.. g-g-irlfriend?" He asked me, sounding very baffled. "I have heard of friends before, those pets other people have. But what is this thing you say.. Grill?". "Girl," I corrected. Then I asked him to sit down on a bench nearby so I could explain it too him, the poor, helpless thing. I told him that for human beings to reproduce, sexual intercourse must occur between a male and a female. "Perhaps you hear the trolls mention a thing called "pussy" on slashdot?". The geek burst into laughter, "Haha, you have been browsing at -1 lately, haven't you? You know that is just troll talk. Those silly trolls never have anything intelligent to say." My face turned serious. "My dear geek, are you not aware of the female population amongst you? Do you not stare in the street and want to hump a post when you pass by a hot, slim, gorgeous looking chick with a firm bust and well sculpted ass?". The geek immediately began to appear as if we was having a nervous breakdown. His glasses began to fog up and he took them off to wipe them with this linux embroidered shirt, "I think I know what you are talking about. Those things are icky. They have cooties. Get away from me!" I felt offended. "Nonsense, I pleaded! Pussy is a beautiful thing. A sacred thing." The geek would not listen and he began to cry. "STOP IT!! You are EVIL!!" He then skipped off. I walked back to my house quite sad. Why don't they listen to me I asked myself? When I got home my girlfriend opened the door. She was wearing short-shorts and a sports bra. She had been doing the thigh master for the past 30 minutes and was sweating. I could see her dark nipples underneath her slightly damp bra. Oh god I could fuck her to the moon and back. I could smell her horniness the second I took my shoes off. I chased her, both of us laughing, to our bedroom [THE FOLLOWING has been censored for the well-being of Geeks].... Six hours later, finally satisfied a little, I sat up and noticed that same Geek hiding in the trees. He had been watching us the entire time. I swear his penis had to have been the size of a fucking horse cock (not bad for a geek, i might add), and he appeared as if he had gone into a state of shock. I could see cum stains forming near the bulge of his pant zipper. I thought to myself. There is one geek, finally brought into the real world.
Speak for yourself. Not all of us are having trouble in that department.
Look at your right hand. See how it's up your mom's cunt? Well there you go.
I already have one of those. Now what?
This is where you are wrong... Up to now I've agreed with most of what you've said. But, humans are most definitely animals. I would go so far as to say that much like dogs (for example), there are probably different "breeds" of human that have little or nothing to do with race.
My wife and a few of our friends and family have noticed how there seem to be many "breeds", for lack of a better term, of human. The traits of these different breeds seem to be hereditary (passed on through generations) and seem to have little to do with environmental influence.
Example 1: My wife, my self and many of our friends. In general we are peace loving people with a sense of responsibility for others. We share many of the same tastes in food (love to eat light on the meat and poultry and heave on fruits, grains, legumes and vegetables) and those foods seem to keep us healthy. Are of moderate to light frame builds. Have brown eyes and hair. Considered to be fairly intelligent (IQs between 120 and 180 for what that's worth). Sensitive to the needs of others. Tendency towards left/liberal politics. The younger people in this breed are usually thin to medium in build, but not "perfect" in that Hollywood way that the next breed is. The middle aged people in this breed are still fairly healthy since they eat what they were meant to eat and tend to avoid loading up on pharmaceutical junk (think "Purple Pill" and Propecia). The elderly are also very healthy, relatively thin and attractive. All in a more natural fashion. This breed is usually not interested in plastic surgery since they are not vain. They also are more honest about life and approach life without fear because they accept that there are some things that you just cannot control or escape. While they might not like or agree with the tendenies of others, they realize that there is little point in attempting to change others and therefore tolerate other breeds with little negative interaction unless the other breeds provoke.
Example 2: The "Home-a-rama" crowd. Tend to be fairly conservative and largely concerned with their welath and posessions. Have little knowledge or interest in knowing of the plight of others. Tendency to eat more meat and less vegetables and fruits, largely due to the 'hipness' of the anti-vegetarian backlash. Apparently very insecure since most of their "worth" is measured in monetary and material wealth rather than knowledge (think SUVs, more than two cell phones for a family of two, bragging about their six figure salaries but claiming that they are not rich, etc...) Tend to be of average intelligence (IQ of 100-120). Tend to be lazy. Would rather buy than make their own food/furniture/home improvements/computer software, etc... Body types in this category seem to vary with age. The younger individuals in this breed tend to be fairly thin and attractive with the aid of body building/personal trainers and plastic surgery. The middle aged individuals seem to gain a little weight and develop some health problems (typicaly heart trouble or cancer due to the meat rich diet). The elderly are usually obese in some regard. Finally, this breed is usually very controlled by fear. They want to control every aspect of their life while ignoring the truth around them. They are easily manipulated by the media and people like George W. Bush into thinking that a terrorist lurks around every corner. Especially if he is "swarthy". They are afraid of aging, hence the need for plastic surgery. They are afraid of appearing "different", hence the need to own the same exact things their neighbors do: SUVs, the latest development homes, cell phones, multiple e-mail addresses, vanity plates, big screen TVs, smoking or drinking the latest "cool" trendy drink or tobacco product. They eschew those who stand out as "different".
Example 3: The modern poor. This group is usually the most damaged of the breeds. They are forced to live in situation where they have few options for good nutrition, decent earnings or a decent