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Investigating Artificial Black Holes
Robber Baron writes "I remember years ago watching a cartoon in which an inventor had managed to create 'portable holes.' Now along those lines, according to this story in the Christian Science Monitor, scientists are on the threshhold of developing the 'do-it-yourself black hole' (Well, no, it's not quite do-it yourself as you need a pretty large collider to pull it off.) They're hoping to use the new Large Hadron Collider at the European Center for Nuclear Research to create many tiny black holes and observe the Hawking Effect as they dissipate. Keep your shotgun handy though, as they are more than likely going to open up a portal into another dimension and all sorts of nasties are going to come pouring out."
Keep your shotgun handy though, as they are more than likely going to open up a portal into another dimension and all sorts of nasties are going to come pouring out.
dear lord, haven't we learned our lesson from Doom, Stargate and Half-Life ?!
science, it's done nothing but cause trouble.
Mike
You are late. They were expecting you in the test chamber ten minutes ago. Suit up and proceed there immediately.
Just don't put your portable hole inside a bag of holding.
my ex always told me that she was like a black hole... attracting all type of shit... I guess I wasn't enough of a shit, so I managed to escape. :)
Please tell me I'm not the only one to read that as "Large Hardon Collider."
It must be the Slashdot->Goatse.cx->Giver thing. I need to get out more.
This will help us with our project.
:)
Since the dawn of time, Man has yearned to destroy the Sun...
Motto over the European Center for Nuclear Research:
;)
"Liberate tutemet ex inferis."
No wonder the Christian Science Monitor picked this one up.
The coolest voice ever.
I believe someone already make an artificial black hole about two or three years ago... It was located at the New York Stock Exchange.
Imagine if Acme had ever made an operating system.
*rubs chin*
Naw, couldn't be...
The coolest voice ever.
It's like taking an apple, or if you want, the biggest freighter on earth, and compressing it to a microscopic size...
The biggest freighter on earth isn't heavy enough to attract stuff around it... so the black hole it forms won't be either.
Now that being said, I don't know how they intend to "stabilize" the black holes... because as you noticed, anything that touches it *will* be sucked into it, so what comes to my mind is a black hole the size of an atom free falling all the way to the core of the earth, and starting to consume everything that touches it until it eats up everything...
And then we die. End of story.
Someone above mentioned Acme Co. for creating this, but I also clearly remember seeing this done in a Pink Panther cartoon when I was quite young.
:)
At least they can't patent it, as there is clearly a lot of prior art.
Sue Hawking, duh.
These scientist want to study structure which anything can enter, but nothing can leave? /dev/null
Any life forms that are stupid enough to try to create black holes on their own planet deserve what they get.
Bugs Bunny used these to escape from E. Fudd. Nothing new about them, then :)
I think the black hole would revoke the chair anyway, along with everything else :)
Here is an old czech folk song (it actually rhymes in original)
"We used to have a grandpa and he was getting pretty old. One day in July - early morning -
he went into the cellar - to get a pitchfork
for haymaking. But he never made it back, it looks like that he has vanished for good.
Chorus: "We have a small black hole in the cellar.
It eats everything it finds and it has no restraint. Grandma, please don't go there for coal - or it will eat you too - and police will never ever find you!"
Scientists came from far away - and from near too, grandma is nervous and beats us all, the kids. She is all alone there to do the cleaning and taking care of kitchen - while grandpa sits in the cellar and is infinitely heavy.
Chorus: "We have a small black hole...
Don't worry grandma, please don't despair, my wife is making the lunch. Her food is usualy quite terrible and I am gonna use it to feed the black hole. So I fed the leftovers from lunch to the black hole and it threw up everything including the grandpa. Then I took the chaisaw and cut the hole into pieces. And so the man won again over mysterious forces.
I doubt that we will ever figure out - and I suspect that even if we did figure out we couldn't do much about it
First they want to replace our GPS, now they want to open a gateway to hell. Please Stop Europe!!! Just fade into the history books.
I honestly don't think I've ever seen this many paranoid, uninformed, and irrational responses to one slashdot story. And I am aware of how many of those there usually are.
People almost sound as if ms were trying to make these black holes.
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
"Any life forms that are stupid enough to try to create black holes on their own planet deserve what they get." Should the world hold a democratic vote to whether or not we want to participate in the ultimate Darwin Award entry? I mean, FUCK... I can just imagine all the aliens laughing there asses off.
Life is not for the lazy.
No, you have it backwards.
If they make a black hole at the surface of the earth all the gravity runs out and we can fly.
Eve Fairbanks says I drive a hybrid!LOL
Umm, isn't a definitioon of insanity doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result?
:(
On a completely different note, years ago when I discovered the Warner Brother's store in Fair Lakes Shopping Center (around Chantilly, VA) I went in and tried to order anvils and dynamite. They didn't have any
Eve Fairbanks says I drive a hybrid!LOL
Don't worry about it. If there's a problem, I am sure a tax cut will fix it.
Anybody care to bet whether the black holes will be stable? I'm betting they will simply dissipate.
If they gobble up the whole universe, I'll pay one million dollars to each any every one of you, honest. If not, then you'll owe me.
Karma: -2147483648 (Mostly affected by integer overflow)
The thing that always struck me is how come he was always starving if he could afford to buy jet-powered rocket skates?
Totally emersive game play!!! Wow, sierra was right, this ones gonna be killer!
My sausage tree didn't grow, does that make me a bad mommy?
I believe that's the point.
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
Asuming it all goes ary, and the planet is sucked into oblivion, it will be a long (very long) and painfull death as time will slow down exponentiontially as you get closer and closer to the center. All while being turned (very slowly) into a piece of spaghetti. :)
They suck!
Ah, now I undestand the real reason of those experiments. Politicians all around the world are certainly eager to destroy information they don't like. Now finally, physicists seem to have found a way to reliably do so - therefore there's certainly a great interest of manufacturing those devices, as well as researching if they indeed destroy information.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
...that the universe in a nutshell would definitely be within its Schwarzschild radius. Who is this Hawkings fellow, anyway?
Liberty uber alles.