Slashdot Mirror
Mission to Harpoon Comet is Back on Track
An anonymous reader writes "The Rosetta mission planners have announced today that after an indefinite launch delay earlier this year, their goal of landing on a comet is back on track. Their new baseline target is a rendezvous with the comet, Churyumov-Gerasimenko, in November 2014. En route to the comet, Rosetta will inspect two asteroids (Otawara and Siwa) at close quarters."
Aid agencies estimate 14 million Ethiopians are at risk of starvation after the worst drought in almost two decades. There is no official figure of how many people have already died from drought-related causes. It is guessed that the current death toll is already in the hundreds of thousands. Do you still want to harpoon a comet?
It is criminal negligence that hundreds of thousands of Ethiopians have died due to lack of food during the current drought affecting Ethiopia. The comet can wait. We have some human brothers and sisters dying in Ethiopia who require our immediate attention.
f1r57 r3p1y 2 f1r57 p057, b1zn47ch!
Once upon a time whilst walking in a park I asked a geek "Do you have a girlfriend?". He responded with a very puzzled look. "A girlfriend?," he mused, "Who is the developer?". I chuckled and told him this was not an open source project. He then became slightly angry and inquired, "Are you trying to insult me? Only the best geeks use open source only! What planet are you living on?!". I reassured him I was well aware of his integrity as a geek (white skin, clumsy, pants that are too short, lack of daily shower, pocket protector etc), and explained, "A girlfriend is a female who to a male (most oftenly a male) has an intimate friendship." He gave me a very confused look. "I have never heard of such a thing.. this.. g-g-irlfriend?" He asked me, sounding very baffled. "I have heard of friends before, those pets other people have. But what is this thing you say.. Grill?". "Girl," I corrected. Then I asked him to sit down on a bench nearby so I could explain it too him, the poor, helpless thing. I told him that for human beings to reproduce, sexual intercourse must occur between a male and a female. "Perhaps you hear the trolls mention a thing called "pussy" on slashdot?". The geek burst into laughter, "Haha, you have been browsing at -1 lately, haven't you? You know that is just troll talk. Those silly trolls never have anything intelligent to say."
My face turned serious. "My dear geek, are you not aware of the female population amongst you? Do you not stare in the street and want to hump a post when you pass by a hot, slim, gorgeous looking chick with a firm bust and well sculpted ass?". The geek immediately began to appear as if he was having a nervous breakdown. His glasses began to fog up and he took them off to wipe them with this linux embroidered shirt, "I think I know what you are talking about. Those things are icky. They have cooties. Get away from me!" I felt offended. "Nonsense, I pleaded! Pussy is a beautiful thing. A sacred thing that you should strive to give pleasure to." The geek would not listen and he began to cry. "STOP IT!! You are EVIL!!" He then, quite geekishly, skipped off down the path.
I walked back to my house feeling rather disheartened. 'Why don't they listen to me' I asked myself? When I got home my girlfriend opened the door. She was wearing short-shorts and a sports bra. She had been doing the thigh master for the past 30 minutes and was sweating. I could see her dark nipples underneath her slightly damp bra. Oh god I could fuck her to the moon and back. I could smell her horniness the second I took my shoes off. I chased her, both of us laughing, to our bedroom [THE FOLLOWING has been censored for the well-being of geeks].... Six hours later, finally satisfied a little, I sat up and noticed that same geek hiding in the trees. He had been watching us the entire time. I swear his penis had to have been the size of a fucking horse cock (not bad for a geek, i might add), and he appeared as if he had gone into a state of shock. I could see cum stains forming near the bulge of his pant zipper. I thought to myself. There is one geek, finally brought into the real world.
I can think of a few causes for the Europeans to pursue that are nobler than harpooning a comet:
- Stop hating/beating/killing Jews.
- Stifle the creeping statism.
- Stop the moral equivalency and policy of appeasement of thieves and dictators.
- Stop hating the productive countries because you're too fucking busy drinking wine and eating cheese to work as hard as the citizens of more productive countries do who earn their right to be arrogant and wealthy.