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A Night in the Hotel of the Future
Roland Piquepaille writes "Michael S. Lasky was lucky enough to test the amenities of the "Room of the Future", Room 267 of the Hilton Garden Inn in El Segundo, California. Among other things, the room provides a wall-mounted, 42-inch flat-screen HDTV Panasonic plasma television, a biometric room safe, free broadband, accessible via laptop or the TV, or a Panasonic massage chair. Needless to say, Lasky didn't have enough time to test everything during his one-night stay, but was quite pleased. Check this column for a summary and a picture of the "Room of the Future.""
... There was still a slot for the coin-op vibrating bed.
Some things never change
--
The 42 inch plasma screen on the wall cannot be turned off or the volume adjusted, and it constantly plays patriotic music to sooth you....
42" Plasma television - Good for watching porn
Biometric room safe -- so that the prostitute you bring in doesn't steal your stuff while you're sleeping
Free broadband -- surf all the porn you want on the big screen, or lookup local call girl services
Massage chair -- need I say more?
Have a good laugh like I did.
Newsfollow.com
Gotta love the 'executive toy' on the desk in the picture.
how are you supposed to know it's an executive's desk unless there's a kinetic sculpture on it? Truly, this is the future.
Kevin Fox
In other news, Fred G. Sanford was lucky enough to test the amenities of the "Junkyard of the Future", Room 1 of the Sanford Arms in El Segundo, California.
Amenities included a bottle of Ripple, automatic heart monitoring equipment, and the neighbors goat.
-T
Just sounds like a a room filled with crap from Sharper Image. Hardly the future.
Sleep is for the Weak
Old fashion courtesy masseuse?
I think I'll take the cute hotel-staff masseuse, you can keep the chair of the future.
â¦until the Gideonâ(TM)s Bible is provided in pdf and pdb formats.
Since I couldn't see what buttons I was pushing, the crotch-level nozzle blasting 102-degree water came as a shock--and my attempts to shut it off only caused other nozzles to splash me as if I were in a penitentiary riot. (Hilton's plan to install a voice-activated control could be just the solution.)
I hope the voice command to turn it off will be 'OMG MY WANG ARRRRRG!!!!!'
Polaroid. See what develops!!
Protected with Microsoft Passport.
RFID embedded potato chip bags. $5
GPS enabled water bottle. $6
$7 Liquor bottles featuring HP inkjet technology. Cannot consume liquor and fill bottle back up with 3rd party tap water, the bottle will still register empty. Attempts to reset liquor usage on said bottle will be a DMCA violation
I assume he meant 102ÂF, not 102ÂC. 102ÂF, while quite warm, is not exactly scalding temperature (after all, hundreds of thousands of yuppies regularly dunk their meat and two veg in hot tubs that are heated to 105ÂF and suffer no burns). 102ÂC would be a hell of a lawsuit.
...six thousand...
I'm reminded of a Dilbert episode (yes, from that lousy TV show) where Dilbert has a voice-activated shower.
Dogbert: Tell me about the Gruntmaster 9000.
Dilbert: You mean '6000'.
Dogbert: What?
Dilbert: I SAID, YOU MEAN 'SIX THOUSAND'!
Shower:
Dilbert: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Zaphod B
When duplication is outlawed, only outlaws will have
Why is this room "of the future"? The amenities are all items from this day and age and in working order aren't they? Usually when I hear product "of the future" I think of a concept product that is shown emulating it, but not really function.
Is it because in the future it will be commonplace?
Among the niceties of this high-tech hotel room are:
- a wall-mounted, 42-inch flat-screen HDTV Panasonic plasma television connected to a Technics receiver with surround-sound Bose speakers;
- a biometric room safe that uses a thumbprint as the lock and key;
- free broadband, accessible via laptop or the TV;
- a Panja touch-panel remote control that manages lighting levels and room climate; opens and closes the drapes; controls the TV, radio, and DVD player; and even repositions the head and foot of the king-size bed;
- a Panasonic massage chair,
- a heated toilet seat/bidet,
- a computerized five-nozzle shower,
- and a defogging bathroom mirror.
Or are they implying that the commonplace habits of being on the road will be
- Still watch alot of TV, but demand better quality of delivery
- Be Paranoid
- Be a geek
- Be a lazy geek
- Be a lazy geek with tension problems
- Be a lazy geek with tension problems and a cold ass
- Be a REAL geek
- Now you're spending way too much time in the bathroom. it's my turn.
"Last one in is a rotten goblin!" - Kepp