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A Model End Vendor License Agreement
Teese writes "Low End Mac is presenting this article as a humor piece, but its vision of an End Vendor License Agreement seems to be pretty well thought out, and one that I wouldn't mind seeing in the real world."
End Vendor License Agreement
.mac and .NET. You must, however, continue to provide the services.
Please read the following and click on I AGREE before accepting my payment for your product.
It is the policy of the LOW END MAC USER GROUP that purchases made by members of the GROUP will only be made if the vendor of the DESIRED PRODUCT agrees to sign and approve the END VENDOR LICENSE AGREEMENT (EVLA), which you are now reading. This EVLA stipulates the following:
1. You (THE VENDOR, heretofore referred to as YOU) cannot sell my name, address, phone number, email address, social security number, model number, serial number, hair color, eye color, weight, height, or any other distinguishing characteristic without specific written permission not obtained through the use of a USER INTERFACE. Permission must be written, signed in ink, no facsimile allowed.
2. You cannot call my home, mail my home, or send email to my email address without my express permission. You must assume, by default, that permission is NOT given at registration.
3. All registration questions for your product must be written in the same format, so when choosing NO for one answer, NO is the default response for all answers.
4. Anything I make with my own computer is my property, and you cannot use if in any form.
5. Any software I install on my computer is my business, and you cannot collect information about the internal contents of my hard drive after I purchase your product.
6. You cannot require me to register a product more than once.
7. All ongoing, recurring registration expenses must be clearly explained at purchase, or I will not pay them. This includes fees for services such as
8. If I tell you that I do not want to register once, once should be enough. Do not ask me again. By clicking on AGREE, you agree never to ask me anything more than once.
9. If I attempt to quit a piece of software, YOU must make sure it does not ask me to verify that command more than once.
10. You must NEVER delete critical posts from your user bulletin boards. You may, however, clump them together.
[AGREE] [WE DONT WANT YOUR BUSINESS]
Violation of any of these conditions indicates your permission for me to stop payment on your product without returning same product, no questions asked.
...if they make their EULAs as ugly as that web page, even the lawyers won't read them...