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25 Dumbest Moments In Gaming Concluded

Posted by simoniker on from the just-in-time-for-slashdumb-and-dumberer dept.

Thanks to Gamespy for finishing up its 25 Dumbest Moments In Gaming set of articles by picking their Top 5 mistakes of all time. We ran a story on these articles earlier in the week, and congratulate Slashdot commenter Saige for correctly guessing Gamespy's No.1 pick, Atari passing on producing and distributing the NES Stateside. Plus, well done to, uhm, pretty much everyone for guessing a certain long-haired FPS designer might make it into the Top 5 somewhere.

26 comments

  1. I bet... by rgonsalves · · Score: -1, Flamebait

    in 5 years we will be talking about how dumb Nokia was for making that crazy gaming phone and trashtalking the GameBoy.

    Fools! The GB has has the market on lock down for over a decade, don't talke shit about what everyone loves.

    -Reed

    1. Re:I bet... by amuro98 · · Score: 1

      You think it'll even take that long?

      I'd give the thing a year, tops.

    2. Re:I bet... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      6 months before officially cancelled.

      They will sell less than 5-10K.

      75% will be sold from the bargain bin.

      Sounds like the good ol Game.com to me....

  2. John Romero by fredrikj · · Score: 4, Informative

    long-haired FPS designer

    Damnit, get your facts right! John Romero cut his hair! (scroll down)

    1. Re:John Romero by simoniker · · Score: 4, Funny

      Heh :) I guess I knew that, but he'll always be long-haired in my heart.. *swoon*.

    2. Re:John Romero by jeffehobbs · · Score: 1


      John Romero's hair is pretty liek a pony!!!1

      ~Jeff (k)

    3. Re:John Romero by blankmange · · Score: 1

      Would this make John Romero our bitch?

      --
      ...we are from the government - we are here to help...
  3. Gaming success by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Interesting

    Based on this series, its appearent that noone has actually succeeded in the console game market, just some people have failed less. And those that do get ahead do it through sneaky and sometimes illegal means.

    GG everyone.

    1. Re:Gaming success by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 3, Insightful

      > Based on this series, its appearent that noone has actually succeeded in the console game
      > market, just some people have failed less.

      You think so? I noticed a distinct lack of one major console maker in this series, except for cameo appearances as the guys who ate the idiots' lunch. Hint: Their initials are S O N Y.

      Chris Mattern

    2. Re:Gaming success by CashCarSTAR · · Score: 2

      The humor of the situationn, is that Sony's major benefit was one of the so-called errors, Nintendo's rejection of the SNES CD-ROM addon. If this had of gone through, there would have been no stand-alone PSX, as well as more then likely the N64 would have done even worse, as Nintendo's rep would have suffered earlier (as the GC is having right now)

    3. Re:Gaming success by cyrax777 · · Score: 1

      yeah but if SNES cd did come out and it might have gotten all the titles that PSX did that slaughterd nintendo in the market. ie FF7. only reason anyone wins in the Console wars anymore is Games lots of games Sony has that market dominated. Case in point only reason im going to gte a ps2 is becouse theres alot more games on it then the others not to mention all the older ps1 titles it can play.

  4. It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful
    These gamespy people are pretty smarmy. They make it look like they are true business experts and were more or less able to tell the future.

    Doing business in the gaming market is a risk. Doing business in any market is a risk. You can do studies and demographics and all that crap and still get products that people don't want, while bizarre pieces of crap become insanely popular.

    Case in point: Tamogochi

    They point at Romero and laugh at daikatana like they knew from day one it was going to suck ass. Look at it at the time, Romero and Carmack had made perhaps THE game of the century, and now he was making another. Imagine! If Daikatana had not sucked everyone would be eating crusty turds out of his toilet and liking it.

    1. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by NanoGator · · Score: 4, Insightful

      "These gamespy people are pretty smarmy. They make it look like they are true business experts and were more or less able to tell the future. "

      I know what you mean. I'm a little surprised they felt that the GBA shoudln't have been launched without a light. They obviously don't understand that Sega, Atari, and NEC all learned lessons about that. All four systems had backlights (Sega had two, the Game Gear and Nomad), and all of them ate 6 AA's like they were candy. They also cost a good hunk of cash each. Game Gears ran $160. Lynx was $180. The Turbo Express was... what, $400 I think? (That was a niche item, though) And the Nomad was launched at $200.

      My point? The GBA, as it stood, ran for $99 when it was launched. It only takes two AA batteries and it lasts for ages on it. Yes, the screen was the weak part. Nobody's arguing that. However, What if Nintendo had changed that? What would the rechargable battery plus the backlit screen have run if it had launched back in 2001? How many people would have paid $150ish for it?

      Yes, it would have been nice if Nintendo had launched the SP and skipped the original GBA. I doubt that many people would have paid the extra price for it. If sales weren't good, you can bet that the game selection that makes everybody glad to have a GBA would have suffered.

      I wouldn't consider that one of the 25 bad moments in gaming history, especially when there are plenty of other unsuccessful portable gaming systems that sported dumb designs.

      --
      "Derp de derp."
    2. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by AvitarX · · Score: 2, Informative

      I can't believe the non-backlit GBA sold so well.

      When I heard the GBA was coming out I was ready to buy it. I was thinking WOW, all these great SNES games portable (I never copuld afford a SNES). Then the reviews rolled in. Barly playable on a bus, unplayable on a subway. I tried one in a store and it was awful.

      Anyway the SP came out and I was happy, but $99 dollors was my price point, and probably a lot of peoples. $100 just seems too high (sad yet true, I am a sucker). I do wish the GBA had six buttons, especialy since it had a SNES controlerish form factor at first.

      I also with it had enough flash ROM to save a game state (oviously too much money then). Saved game states are great (damned emulators spoiling me).

      --
      Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
    3. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by Man+In+Black · · Score: 2, Interesting

      My point? The GBA, as it stood, ran for $99 when it was launched. It only takes two AA batteries and it lasts for ages on it.

      I think battery life was (one of) Nintendo's main concern with the GBA. However, the technology for white LED's should have been well known to them, and I don't understand why they didn't end up using it... it would mean a relatively small increase in price, possibly a slightly larger product, and have maybe a few hours less battery life. I think that's a small price for a better screen. That being said, I actually prefer my normal GBA, since the SP is much too small for me... I have enough carpal tunnel worries as it is.

      As for the buttons, I can't imagine what they were thinking... Adding two more buttons would have been trivial from a hardware standpoint, and would have opened so much more possibilities (imagine perfect SNES gameplay). Hell, I would have settled for just four face buttons and none of these stupid shoulder buttons. The only possible reason I can think of that they might decide not to do this was because they thought it would make the machine too complicated... Thanks for assuming I'm an idiot Nintendo.

      --Zero

      --
      -"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." -EH
    4. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by NanoGator · · Score: 3, Interesting

      ". The only possible reason I can think of that they might decide not to do this was because they thought it would make the machine too complicated."

      Actually, I think it had to do more with the little room they had for them. As it is, people find the unit too small. Gotta admit, tho, it's damn mobile. I think Nintendo's the only company that's ever made a true pocket-sized portable system. I haven't messed with a GP32 or Neo Geo pocket before... More buttons would have been nice, but I'd want a bigger system if they did that.

      One other possibilty comes to mind, which touches on your point: Nintendo's lately been focusing on making games more direct. The Game Cube is a good example. It has a bunch of buttons, but it's got that big red A button smack in the middle. Zelda, for example, stopped using a jump button back in Ocarina of Time. Why make the user jump in an adventure game? Just have the system know where to jump. Mario Sunshine was all about jumping, and that's what the A button did. The rest were secondary functions.

      I don't think it's because Nintendo's assuming people are idiots, but rather because they'd rather the games be more enjoyable by demanding less from the user. That sorta make sense? Game design really affects Nintendo's controller designs. (as opposed to making a controller with a lot of buttons and hoping developers make good use of them. *cough*Jaguar*cough*)

      --
      "Derp de derp."
    5. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by spongebob · · Score: 1

      I agree with the GBA stuff so far and wanted to add another point on top. Battery life was a major point to shipping without a light, but the other major point is that Japan is a commuter country. Most people take long train rides twice a day and have little to do while on the train. This is the reason that cell phone games are so hot there. GBA is also a hot item in Japan. The original machine was made for these kinds of people who travelled in the day and needed no additional light. American can buy their own light attachement if they needed one.

    6. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by Xistic · · Score: 1

      "It has a bunch of buttons, but it's got that big red A button smack in the middle. "

      They definatly learned their lesson from the SNES pad. Wasn't it like only Street Fighter that actually used all those buttons? And it could be argued up until SSFII that you really didn't need the MED punch and Kick. Ditto the Samuri Showdown ports.

      But then, they do need to be available if the designer needs them.

      --
      BASE Conflict for Quake 3
    7. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by owenb · · Score: 1

      It has a bunch of buttons, but it's got that big red A button smack in the middle.

      A nitpick: the A button is green. Isn't Zelda an amazing game, though?

    8. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by NanoGator · · Score: 1

      "A nitpick: the A button is green. Isn't Zelda an amazing game, though?"

      Oh yeah. Duh. ehheh Pretty sad considering I have a GameCube.

      And yes, Wind Waker is awesome. I didn't enjoy Ocarina that much, but Wind Waker's really entertaining me. I like the semi 'real-world' solutions to the problems to get through the dungeon.

      --
      "Derp de derp."
    9. Re:It's very easy to be smart in hindsight by jayhawk88 · · Score: 1

      They're not lauging at Romero because he took a risk with Daikatana. They're laughing at him because he took 5 years and several different gaming engines to release a crappy video game.

  5. John Carmack and John Romero Kiss and Make Up by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    It was a dark afternoon. Cumulus clouds were directly overhead ready to drench the buildings and citizens of Mesquite.

    Minutes before the rain started to pour, John Romero walked up to his former friendâ(TM)s house and rang the doorbell. John Carmack opened the door a few seconds later, and was shocked to see Romero.

    "We need to talk," said Romero, holding back a smile. He was really happy to see his old friend again.

    "Thereâ(TM)s nothing to talk about," replied Carmack.

    "I think there is. Can I please come in?"

    Carmack reluctantly let his former friend inside his house. Romero sat on the loveseat in the living room. Carmack sat in a chair next to him. "What do you need to say," he asked.

    "Iâ(TM)ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life, and I donâ(TM)t want to have any regrets 10 years from now. So as much as it hurts my ego to say what Iâ(TM)m about to say, deep deep down, I know it is the right thing to do. So, here goesâ"Iâ(TM)m sorry."

    "What?" Carmack couldn't believe what he was hearing.

    "Iâ(TM)m sorry. Iâ(TM)m sorry that I was such a jerk when I worked for id. Iâ(TM)m sorry that Iâ(TM)ve been worse since I left... the way Iâ(TM)ve let my feelings about you be known publicly... the way I acted when we didnâ(TM)t make Quake an RPG which was the way I wanted to do it."

    "Really?" Outside, the rain was starting to sprinkle down.

    "My life has been so empty without you. What we shared was so great, so spectacular, so⦠special, and I was a fool for leaving it. I was childish and immature, and I want you to know that Iâ(TM)m truly sorry for what I did, and I donâ(TM)t blame you if you never talk to me again."

    "John," said Carmack, who stood up and then sat next to Romero on the couch, "Iâ(TM)m speechless. Iâ(TM)ve felt the same way about us not being together. Of course I can forgive you." Carmack then put his hand on the inside of Romeroâ(TM)s hairy thigh, rubbing it up and down. "How Iâ(TM)ve missed you."

    "Kiss me," whispered Romero.

    Carmack removed Romeroâ(TM)s glasses and threw them to the floor. He pushed Romero back and climbed on top of him. He could feel Romeroâ(TM)s hard, throbbing cock poking out of his shorts. Carmack rubbed his hands through Romeroâ(TM)s full, long mane while Romero slipped his hands into Carmackâ(TM)s pants, putting his fingers in Carmackâ(TM)s butt crack.

    "That feels so good," moaned Carmack.

    Eventually Romeroâ(TM)s hands came out of Carmackâ(TM)s butt crack, and worked their way to Carmackâ(TM)s belt. Romero slowly unbuckled Carmackâ(TM)s belt, while having Carmackâ(TM)s tongue in his mouth. He had forgotten just how sweet Carmackâ(TM)s tongue tasted. Romero unzipped Carmackâ(TM)s pants, revealing Carmackâ(TM)s stiff railgun. Carmack never wears underwear.

    "Fuck my face with your BFG," begged Romero, who then took Carmackâ(TM)s huge pecker into his mouth. Carmack was moaning in ecstasy while Romero was deep-throating him. Romero rubbed Carmackâ(TM)s rocket launcher while gently tugging on his ballsac with his teeth. That always drove Carmack crazy.

    "I MUST HAVE YOU NOW," Carmack screamed.

    Carmack stood up and told Romero to bend over. Romero was more than happy to oblige. Carmack entered Romeroâ(TM)s anus slowly at first, but once he was in he quickened the pace. Even without lube, Romeroâ(TM)s hairy hole was so inviting and cozy. They could both hear the loud roar of thunder outside. Neither one cared about what was happening outdoors though.

    "Whoâ(TM)s your daddy," Carmack rhetorically asked while smacking Romeroâ(TM)s bony white ass.

    "You are John. You are!"

    Romero then reached around Carmack, squezzing his butt cheeks as hard as he could. There was a bright flash of lightening, so blinding that it was visible through Carm

  6. Add: EA's Online Ventures by superultra · · Score: 1

    In 5 years, the mass attempts at online venture by Electronic Arts will be included in at least the top 20, if not the top 10. Majestic, The Sims, canning Ultima 2...the list goes on.

  7. 3DFX history glossed over by EduardoTheBastard · · Score: 1
    Focusing on the Sega thing was quite odd, in my opinion. Although certainly a blunder, they didn't even mention some of their really bad business decisions:

    * Buying what's-their-face, the graphics board manufacturer, in order to gain market share. A neat idea, except when you consider that requires moving from a high-margin business to a low-margin one, and the company didn't even have the OEM presence required to pull it off.

    * Thier insistence on focusing on 3D-only chipsets, rather than buckling down and making an integrated 2D/3D solution that actually worked.

    * Thier failure to design a chip with T&L capabilities, instead focusing all their efforts on the laughable T-buffer.

    * Purchasing Gigapixel based on Xbox rumors. Yes, Gigapixel was in the running for it, but many people believe Microsoft was just trying to put pressure on nVidia and Gigapixel was really just a fallback

    * Did I mention the T-buffer?

    1. Re:3DFX history glossed over by Rellik66 · · Score: 1

      remember that Gamespy was focusing on dumb moments in gaming history, not dumb moments in graphic card manufacturer history.

      since Sega is involved, it becomes directly related to gaming.

      however I do think that Glide should get a mention as well, because of it's proprietary nature. Both OpenGL and DirectX are not locked into any graphic mfg chipset.

      --

      Too many zeros, not enough ones

    2. Re:3DFX history glossed over by EduardoTheBastard · · Score: 1
      Actually, Glide was a very good thing for them at the time. DirectX was a horrible pig, and OpenGL was only vaguely supported on most consumer boards.

      I added Glide support to the engine I was building, and the game ran significantly better on a 3DFX card than any other because of it. (And yes, I'm an actual game programmer working for an actual game company. Not some college kid who has an opinion because they read it on John Carmack's .plan file.)

      Sure, it would be stupid nowadays. But back then (circa 1997) it wasn't. And did you notice that they eventually dropped Glide when the other APIs caught up?