Slashdot Mirror
Transparent Web Caching Patented
JohnQPublic writes "BIND author and all-around Internet personality Paul Vixie and Mirror Image Internet have recently received US patent 6,581,090, specifically '..technology that efficiently stores and retrieves content requests and balances Web traffic between origin servers to improve performance and speed' - sounds an awful lot like what Akamai do. There's a press release from last week that gives some lovely 'details', including this little gem from CEO Alexander M. Vik: 'We anticipate that these patents and our technology solutions will encourage large groups of corporations to become customers of Mirror Image services. We also recognize that this technology is a critical component of other content delivery services and weâ(TM)ll be attempting to work cooperatively with our competitors and their customers to address this issue.' Can you say 'patent infringement suit'?"
These types of lawsuits are what will ruin the Internet for everyone. I am going back to my 9600 baud modem and gopher.
"And I for one welcome our new insect overlords."
I'm sorry, but our comnpany has patented First Posts. Our lawyers will be in touch shortly.
Oh, I see you have a different implementation (first Pists), but that means diddly squat nowadays doesn't it, bwah-ha-ha.
I am patenting a system for the moderation of online discussion boards using different models of messages and a scoring system that can allow users to browse only high-rated or sometimes-funny but nefariously modded down posts.
i ve
They will range like so:
Insightful
Funny
Offtopic
Troll
Informat
Flamebait
The scoring will range from a -2 though 5 basis, users may boost certain catagories of messages by as many points as they want, further allowing them to see what they want to see.
This system is free to use, but you must agree to the EULA
EULA:
Me ( Eric(b0mb)dennis ) hereby reserves the right to freely use any property you own, including, but not limited to:
Kitchen and/or pantry (I need to eat)
Toiletry (The bush just aint cutting it anymore)
Your personal computer(s) (My name is Juan and I am posting this message from a chicken coupe in The Country formally known as Iraq, i am using RFC 1149 in conjunction with a new form of animal telepathy to post this message -=patent pending=-)
I also reserve the right to change the moderation of any post I see fit.. (This should be modded +5 Troll, if it's not done, expect some SCO action on your butt)
Thank you, and please be sure to invite me over for dinner... 50,000 Dinas isn't even buying me a zucchini anymore
Excuse me, I don't mean to impose, but I am the ocean
Can you say 'patent infringement suit'?
Yeah, I bet Akamai even installed a vixie-cron job to launch the suit automatically in the next few days.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Pretend web caching. That's where you:
mv hellworld.c superduperwebcacherino.c and charge
joe cluelesscorp 25 grand for it. It's so perfect
you don't even have to reconfigure your browsers!
Then you go to mexico and live like a king for
3 years before coming back with a new identity
and patent pretend IDS.
For every annoying gentoo user, are three even more annoying anti-gentoo crybabies. Take Yosh from #Gimp for example.
All you cache are now belong to us.
It kinda defeats the purpose of a cache if you put it far away. Hey, maybe you can patent that idea.
The distant cache: method and device to put a cache as far away from its users as possible, in order to increase the price of communications between a web user and a web server.