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$180 Million for Piracy Conspiracy

theCoder writes "According to an AP story printed in the Orlando Sentinel, Steven R. Frazier has been ordered to pay $180 million restitution for attempting to sell a device that would decrypt the satellite signals sent into everyone's homes. In addition to spending the next 5 years in Federal prison, Frazier will have to pay $500 a month for the next 30,000 years, though no one really expects him to live long enough to make all the payments. That value is based on estimated loses DirectTV and Echostar may have incurred had Frazier been able to sell his devices. Being ordered to pay restitution for actual damages is one thing, but paying for some made up number of future damages? Maybe if I catch someone trying to break into my car, I can sue him for the damage he would have caused if he succeeded..."

17 of 734 comments (clear)

  1. Imagine... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    ...if there was a beowulf cluster of $180 million dollar payments... ...sorry, was going down a different road.

  2. Re:too harsh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    they don't put people to death for attempted murder, do they? that seems a little harsh to me.

    No, but sometimes they do issue more than one death sentence. I guess they do that just in case being dead once already isn't enough.

  3. Re:too harsh by Chemical · · Score: 5, Funny

    Seriously. Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?

  4. Re:How? by spydir31 · · Score: 2, Funny

    guess they'll lock him up for not paying his debts, then.

  5. Can anyone say... by Pinguu · · Score: 2, Funny

    future crime? Get the precogs out!

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  6. Re:How? by neonstz · · Score: 2, Funny

    He can always... uhm.... pick up soap for money.

  7. Re:Wasn't smart enough. by parliboy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Rough Translation:

    "Anyone trying to steal satellite feeds deserves to rot in jail.

    Especially if he doesn't tell me how to do it too."

    --
    "You're never ready, just less unprepared."
  8. Estimated Losses by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well, that means I can get away with sueing Micrsoft because I predict their buggy Windows 2003 Server crashes, and I estimate my damages to be 20 billion dollars.

  9. And What About the Source of the Article? by RPI+Geek · · Score: 2, Funny

    I immediately don't trust any website that throws that many popups at me.

    --

    - "Nobody came out that night, not one was ever seen. But Old Man Stauf is waiting there, crazy sick and mean!"
  10. All I want to know is... by solarrhino · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...will he get cable in his cell? And will he have to pay for it?

    --
    "Lord, grant that I may always be right, for Thou knowest that I am hard to turn" -- A Scots-Irish prayer
  11. Re:Land of the free? by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 5, Funny

    Frazier will have to pay $500 a month for the next 30,000 years

    Man this dude's gonna be pissed when we discover the secret to immortality in 50 years time!

    --
    Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
  12. On that subject... by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 3, Funny

    There's the old gem of a story of the man who was sentenced to death but tried to kill himself while waiting on death row. He was declared legally dead as doctors battled to save him (pretty ironic: 'let's save him from death so that we can kill him!') but through some miracle was revived and declared to have served his sentence and was released.

    What a great line for chicks at parties:

    You know, I just got out of prison....

    Really? What was your sentence?

    *Pause for effect, then grin* Death....

    --
    Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
  13. Re:punishment fitting the crime by walterbyrd · · Score: 5, Funny

    >>There is something severely wrong about financially crippling somebody for life..

    I take it you're not familiar with divorce settlements?

  14. Re:Another example of U.S. "justice" system by Enraged_jawa · · Score: 2, Funny
    "..it is yet again proven that whoever pays more for their lawyer wins:..

    Well, maybe he should have used the Chewbacca Defense...

    In the "Chef Aid" episode, Chef is accused of trying to steal the song "Stinky Britches," which he really wrote many years ago. The record company takes Chef to court, and they hire Johnny Cochran to prosecute Chef. The whole town is wondering if he will use his famous "Chewbacca Defense," which he used during the O.J. Simpson trial. Here's a transcript:

    Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: (pulling down a diagram of Chewie) this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! (jury looks shocked)

    Why would a Wookiee -- an eight foot tall Wookiee -- want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

    But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with this case? (calmly) Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

    Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.

    And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

    If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

    Later in that same episode, Cochran has a change of heart and defends Chef when Chef sues the record company. Again, he uses the Chewbacca Defense, although with some minor changes:

    Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decided whether to reverse the decision for my client Chef. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen... (pulling down a diagram of Chewbacca) This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment -- that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man's life is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why: I don't know.

    It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!

    (pulling a monkey out of his pocket) Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey! (one of the juror's heads explodes)

    Eventually, Chef wins the case and all is well.

  15. Re:What is the damage for stealing democracy by August_zero · · Score: 2, Funny

    Could we sue them for the current and future losses do to the perversion of democracy? What would that be -- a few hundred billion? Maybe a trillion?

    nah, I would say Democracy isn't worth much more than the blue book value these days, maybe $250. Needs an awful lot of work, most of the parts need to be replaced, I think you might be better off getting a new one.

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    On Wall Street they say "buy low, sell high" On the pad we say, "buy high, sell high" Isn't that somehow better?
  16. Re:too harsh by TopShelf · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, but sometimes they do issue more than one death sentence. I guess they do that just in case being dead once already isn't enough.

    What, you haven't heard of refried beings?

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    Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
  17. When I Saw The Headline by Master+of+Transhuman · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought someone was OFFERING $180 million for a piracy conspiracy and I was ready to step up...

    Oh, well, back to temping...

    --
    Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!