Review of T3: Rise of the Machines

The Terminator movie series offers explosions and cyborgs galore, but you knew that already. Guns too, and cool special effects involving R-rated nude people in electrified spheres, but you probably guessed that too. So you've seen the trailer and are wondering whether "T3: Rise of the Machines" is worth seeing. Short answer: eh, whatever, it's big and dumb. For the long answer, keep reading. (No real spoilers.)

Let me first draw your attention to CNN's review. The CNN reviewer tells you this "darker and slicker" sequel is "worth the wait," gives you the long-form plot setup, shows you the sexy look of the "babe-a-licious" babe, and promises you "emotional weight" with "wit" and a "stunning and thought-provoking" climax. What he doesn't mention is that CNN and the movie's producer/distributor are both owned by AOL Time Warner.

It's been ten years since I watched the first Terminator and maybe I'm remembering it better than it was. But it had an emotional depth, a heart that neither of its sequels matched. T3 is slicker, yes, but darker!? It's light fluff. The nightmare of nuclear destruction in the original was rendered without CG effects, but I'll remember the skeleton clutching the chain-link fence long after I've forgotten this week's pixel-perfect explosions. And the "storm is coming" ending of the original was genuinely thought-provoking, with a chilling resolve that just embarrasses this week's Hollywood ending. Claire Danes is no Linda Hamilton.

The effects are what you'd expect from a modern zillion-dollar action movie, but not groundbreaking the way that T2's were at the time.

I found nothing about it witty. I chuckled through the chase scenes -- it's mostly chase scenes -- because they were so over-the-top and the plot holes were so glaring. Apart from that, there was only one funny line. (I assume everyone else is as bored as I am with the "dry cool wit like that" dialogue.)

Best unintentionally funny line: "I've got enough C-4 to blow up ten supercomputers!"

Best unintentionally funny visual: tie between fumble for the car keys, and offscreen killing sprays blood across photo.

Dumbest joke: gratuitous mocking of effeminate guy.

Best absurd effect: missile blows apart the wall in a small office ten feet from our heroes, they avoid injury by diving to floor. Duck and cover!

Best plot hole: Terminatrix's chronic failure to remember that she can run fast.

Heavy on the exposition, light on brains and heart, forgettable. See it if you really jones for big trucks smashing stuff. If you just have to see a movie, see "28 Days Later" instead. Rated R, not recommended for anyone whose mental age matches their valid ID.

Comments

The Timing of T3

[mikeophile]

Couldn't have anything to do with Arnold's soon-to-be bid for the California governorship.

Re:Not going to read it

[mgblst]

Haven't you learnt your lesson by now. Your courage against logic is admirable, in this situation, but actually going in thinking it will be shit, will be a more enjoyable experience!

Re:suitable audience

[Pres. Ronald Reagan]

I'm sure the international revenue will be more than the US revenue.

Those dumbass Europeans don't know a bad movie when it kicks them in the ass.

I am of the school of thought...

[Jerk City Troll]

...that believes if you special effects are 100% digital, they are 100% soulless. Digital effects are useful and can add a lot, but they cannot stand by themselves unless the effects are the center piece (as in Shrek and Nemo, etc). You still need natural, real, organic elements in a scene to make it feel natural, real, and organic. FotR and especially TTT did this very well. Think of the Black Gates of Mordor. The gates and walls were models with humans superimposed on them. The giganic trolls doing the grunt work were computer graphics. The scene has such excellent balance that you feel almost overwhelmed emotionally by their daunting presence. You aren't even thinking about special effects when you watch the scene.

Re:My thoughts **A few spoilers included**

[NanoGator]

" For non sensitive areas there is more security than there obviously was in this case."

Arnie woulda handled it.

"As much as I love it a good song comes on the radio as I'm driving to work, I never thank my SUV or the stereo system in it."

Sorry, I don't buy it. It's well established in this movie that John had found Arnie's previous incarnation to be a father figure, and with good reason. The terminator, though a machine, valued human life. Argue all you want, but when it looks human and acts human, you're not going to think about whether or not you should thank him, especially when it clearly shows independent thought.

"When John tells Kate's father that he wants to stop Skynet, he would have instructed him to destroy the facility that they were in, if that was where Skynet resided."

Nope, sorry. Her father, wasn't paying attention to John, he wanted her to be taken somewhere safe. Crystal Peak. Destroying skynet wasn't on his mind, considering he had a hole in his abdomen.

"Valid point. I did not think of that. Perhaps, when the humans win, it's Skynet XP or something that they are fighting."

Or maybe there's only one power source left? Maybe the defense grid was protecting the single automated factory?

There's a problem here. When the first movie was written, it was widely accepted that a supercomputer was a single entity that filled a room. The distributed computing idea didn't show up in the mainstream until recently. It may never exactly line up.

"A whole bottle of pills, in one session? And they hinted that it wasn't the first time."

Yep, you're right. I'll chew on that a little more. The problem is that he really didn't limp a whole lot afterwards.

"I always check back for responses. I did enjoy the movie, but it could have been much better."

Yep, I agree with that. Personally, I wish they would have had somebody write a novel about it and then base a screenplay on it. I think (hope?) that would have fleshed out the details more.

On thing that saddens me a bit is that because it's an action movie, I don't think they'll turn it into to a mind bender. One of the thoughts that occured to me was along the lines of "What if the original original skynet and judgement day happened like in the 22nd century, and they kept pushing back the date it all started through paradoxes?" So it'd be like a paradox war. At one point, it'd be won when the right set of dates and events happen to give one side too much of a disadvantage. Skynet grows sentient, engages in a war with the humans, sends a terminator back in time, and the resistance sends somebody back to protect the target. In the process of doing so, they create the leader of the rebellion by giving him warning of what was coming.

Maybe the first leader was somebody totally different. A terminator went back in time to change the future. The rebellion sent somebody to take it out, and informed the target of what was coming. With that, he knew to fight back. Then, when his time came during the war, another attempt was made, pushing the date back, and so on...

That sort of make sense?

Sorry, I'm really tired. And I apologize for being a little short earlier. It's not out of bitterness or argument, I'm just really really tired heh.

Cheers man.