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SETI Gains Respect, NASA Funding
securitas writes "After having its funding cut off by Congress a decade ago, the SETI program has just received a NASA five-year grant (Google link) to participate as a lead team in the NASA Astrobiology Institute, which investigates the origin and future of life in the universe. For more information, see the Astrobiology Institute's announcement and the NASA press release."
You're thinking of Seti@Home. Seti itself does a few other things.
Chapter 1
It is pitch-black in the roach-infested apartment. All is quiet is except for the gurgling sound of an infant, shut away in its own room. The floor creaks as a mass of flesh makes its way to the infant's room. The door creaks open, creating a growing triangle of light on the floor. The infant coughs and gags and begins to cry as it is overpowered by the horrid stench.
"It's time to suck on daddy's special pacifier, Marticock!"
As the door creaks shut, the whale in the master bedroom weeps into her pillow. What kind of life is this for her precious little Marticock?
Chapter 2
Reza sat at the kitchen table, her cigarette smoke blending with the steam rising from her coffee cup. She took a sip of coffee and adjusted the rollers in her hair. She rubbed her eyes, which were still puffy from crying into her pillow all night. Vlad shuffled into the room, wearing nothing but his briefs and a stained t-shirt, "hey you fat, pig, how are you this morning," he burped.
"Vlad, we have to talk."
"What now, fat-ass?"
"It's about Marticock. You have to stop molesting him... I think it will make it harder for him to make friends later on..."
Vlad slammed his fist onto the table, causing Reza to jump. She farted.
"You're not supposed to think, bitch! You're supposed to be making me breakfast! Where is it?!"
"Vlad, please..."
"Remember when we saw the Matrix Reloaded last weekend? THAT'S the style of Martial Arts I practice, bitch. You're about to get a FREE LESSON!"
Reza rose from her chair, causing it to fall over and ran - as best she could - into the bedroom to cry again.
"Fucking bitch," Vlad farted.
Chapter 3
Vlad sat on the living room couch, the cushions torn and vomiting foam from their inner core as he bounced up and down in excitement. He screamed at the television, as he shook his fist at it, sending Budweiser spilling out all over the floor. "Come on, you goddamn white boy, if I wuz in there, he'd be dead now. Let's see some goddamn wrestling!"
Vlad didn't notice the doorbell ringing and continued screaming obsessively at the television as Reza bounced through the room to open the door.
Reza stood at the doorway in a sheeny, purple, see-through nighty, smiling at the black couple who greeted her, "hi I'm Reza! You must be Pedro and Florence from the personal ad..."
As a commercial flashed onto the television, Vlad turned to see what all the comotion was about. He recognized Pedro in the blue cathode-ray glow, "hey DOOOOOG!"
Vlad hopped from the couch, emitting a spurt of gas as he did so.
Pedro and Florence, who was holding a fat black child with curly hair, entered the dingey apartment. Vlad and Pedro high-fived each other and then Pedro began to rap:
This is Pedro G
Gangsta P
Sippin' on Hi-C
Smokin' PCP
Smooooooth Nigga
Vlad began to break-dance to the off-the-cuff rap. Farting with each bend of the leg and twist of the waist.
Oooooooh. A little Mastah B on the Bonus T
Got it goin' on girl
Droppin' Baby Marticock on your ass, Byatttch
Vlad and Pedro laughed heartily and butted guts.
"You ready to do some swappin' V-Dog," Pedro drooled. Reza grew wet with the suggestion.
"You bet I is, bro," Vlad replied eagerly. He trampled off into the other room, much to Reza's confusion.
In no time at all, Vlad returned holding Marticock, gurgling and farting. Pedro took his child from Florence and exchanged him for Marticock.
Reza frowned and shook her head, "no, no, no!"
Vlad and Pedro laughed as Reza and Florence ran into the bedroom to weep.
Vlad grinned as he removed the black child's diaper, "this is gonna be good! I never cornholed me a nigra before!"
Chapter 4
Reza gazed into the bathroom mirror. The sense of despair overwhelmed her. Vlad's nightly visits to
FUCK OFF!
Okay.. here I go again. Can I post now?
Test post.
Someone's playing the fool with my jkrise
"February 05, 2003
WHY CAN'T I OWN CANADIANS?
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstances. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him or her that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sunday (the Sabbath).In the book of Exodus verse 35:2 it clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16). Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14). I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan."
You're taking the Bible as if it is one entity that either all of it is true or all of it is false. But the bible is a historical accumulation of different texts with different authors and different histories.
The text was found at:
http://www.liola.com/archives/000622.php
Logic, macros, and more
It means you probably live in the same town I do. Maybe we're even related..