The Management Secrets of T. John Dick

Craig Habeck writes "As a Dilbert aficionado, I was intrigued when a colleague handed me a book that he described as 'like Dilbert written from the point of view of the Pointy-Haired Boss.' I read it over the weekend and came into work on Monday with my sides still sore from laughing." Read on for the rest of what sounds like a good antidote to the plague of management/motivational airport books. The Management Secrets of T. John Dick author Augustus Gump pages 268 publisher Mainland Press rating 9 reviewer Craig Habeck ISBN 0970874693 summary Dilbert in Prose - Sort Of

In fact, the resemblance to Dilbert is confined to the setting (a dysfunctional company) and a general atmosphere of corporate absurdity that will be only too familiar to many of us. This is a novel which is closer in tone to British humor of the 1950s. For 268 pages we go inside the head of T. John Dick, a hopelessly incompetent but supremely self-confident marketing manager, transferred from Boston to a small company in the fictitious town of Falling Rock, North Carolina.

Dick immediately goes about licking the company into shape, with disastrous and frequently hilarious results.

The humor derives chiefly from the character of TJ himself and the stark contrast between his self-image and reality. In his mind, he is a dynamic leader in tune with the latest management techniques. He is fond of sharing with us some of his "greatest strengths," including his ability to see "the big picture." In reality, he is a bumbling nincompoop, obsessed with petty details like the tidiness of his employees' desks and his mind-numbingly complex Meeting Room Reservation Procedure, the constant flouting of which drives him to distraction. He is completely unaware of the source of amusement he provides for his colleagues, particularly his nemesis, the laconic VP of Finance, and Hans Kartoffel, the German acting President of the group.

TJ applies the same cutting edge management techniques to his marriage, with similar results. He is completely oblivious to his wife's frequent affairs. We would feel sorry for him, if he weren't such a jerk. In fact, we do occasionally find ourselves sympathizing with him, but we soon get over it.

TJ's unusual management style leads him into some unique (and very funny) situations. His arrangements for a celebration of two million accident-free work hours lead to a fire which burns down half the factory. He attempts to struggle through a violent attack of diarrhea during an important presentation. He accidentally locks the company's president in a restroom stall and endeavors to free him without being noticed. So accident-prone is he that we are hardly surprised when his golf pants catch fire. Of course, no matter what happens, TJ always has a perfectly rational explanation - and it's never his fault.

The character of TJ is an exaggerated but nonetheless very recognizable version of bosses we have known. I laughed, but I also squirmed at the thought that there is no shortage of TJs running around gumming up the gears of industry. The book will appeal to anyone, engineer, product manager, secretary or other corporate wage slave, who has ever had to deal with an incompetent boss or colleague.

The Management Secrets of T. John Dick concludes with a series of completely absurd topics for readers discussion groups. My favorite: "TJ's obsession with trivial details....might be described as a serious personality defect. Discuss some of your own personality defects. Bet you've got some real doozies! You might like to help your co-members by pointing out some of theirs."

The book's back cover reveals little about its author, Augustus Gump, so I turned to the publisher's web site www.mainlandpress.com. Gump has previously published a number of short stories and his humorous articles have appeared in the Charlotte Observer and other regional newspapers. This is his first novel. I will be looking out for his next one.

You (or your boss) can purchase The Management Secrets of T. John Dick from bn.com. Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.

Comments

two million accident-free work hours?

[Mr. Sketch]

2000000/24 hours a day = 83333 days/365days a year = 228 years? I don't know of any companies that have been around that long. Unless, as a proper manager he counts each persons time separatly, so maybe they have 1000 employees and they've been accident free for 90 days. How bizarre.

However, the book does sound like it would be a fun read, so I might pick it up at some point.

Re:two million accident-free work hours?

[clintp]

Lloyds of London has been operating as a shipping underwriter since the 17th century. Although I doubt they've been accident-free that long. :)

Re:two million accident-free work hours?

[TJ6581]

I don't know of any companies that have been around that long.

If you are looking for a few companies that meet this age criteria try Zildjian Cymbal Co. It is in Norwell, Mass., founded in Turkey in 1623 and now in its 14th generation of management by the Zildjian family.

for a more complete list of companies with some time behind them try this list.

Re:two million accident-free work hours?

[azav]

Weihenstephan brewery.
Founded 1040 AD.

http://www.brauerei-weihenstephan.de/

I win.

For a TV show that's funny in a similar way...

[PancakeMan]

...check out "The Office" (I get it on BBC America)

Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert

[sphealey]

We would feel sorry for him, if he weren't such a jerk. In fact, we do occasionally find ourselves sympathizing with him, but we soon get over it.

The early Dilberts were quite funny. They started going downhill IMHO when the character of the boss changed. Originally, the boss was a typical boss-guy: sometimes clueless, sometimes wrong or wrong-headed - but not always. From time to time the boss would demonstrate that his employees were not the proto-gods that they believed, but were also fallible human beings subject to stapler misfires.

Then when the drawing of the boss changed from the taller, more jowly look to the shorter, fatter-but-thinner-face guy, that changed. After that the employees were 100% godlike and the bosses 100% clueless.

At that point I found it to be a lot less funny. Because let's face it: a lot of the stupidies of the workplace are caused by the worker bees themselves, not just the evil bosses. And when Dilbert lost the balance that recognized that fact it started to slide (a slide which got worse when Scott Adams was fired from his real technical job).

sPh

Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert

[Fesh]

A recent comic even had Dilbert noticing that he wasn't even qualified for his own job any more.

Funny, I read that one as a comment on the absurdly inflated requirements listed in job postings these days, not that he was actually unfit for the job he was doing.

Although to be fair there's probably an arms race between the hiring managers and the buzzword-weilding resume-writers occuring.

Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert

[Anonymous Coward]

Absurdly inflated requirements?? oh, c'mon.. I'm sure there's people pounding on their doors with 10 years of Win2K experience, and at *least* 5 years of experience with Oracle9i.

I *sorely* laughed one time when I was job-shopping online, and found a posting for a company that was looking for someone with a PhD in IT Security, 10+ years experience with internet firewalls, and certifications up the wazoo... and then they say "we've had this job posted for over a year and have only had two applicants". Gee, I wonder why? Meanwhile one of the best firewall/security people I've ever met was in his mid-20's, a consumate geek with no college degree, and totally security-paranoid.

Now unemployed, I've seen a *lot* of jobs out there with totally rediculous requirements. Luckily, my old boss from a previous job (who loved me and knows how capable I am of *learning* new technologies on the fly) has a job lined up for me (although I've enjoyed my month off ;-) ).

I've interviewed people with certs and education up the wazoo, who couldn't pick up anything new without 6 months of training (and even then would do everything by 'rote'). And I've interviewed people who have no certs and not much post-HS education who would jump in and pick up anything in a week. Education is *not* everything, attitude and ability to learn is the most important.

I prefer the latter. I'd rather have someone who can jump in and pick something new up in a short time, and who is *interested* in what they do.. rather than just a paycheck. I was amazed in college (I didn't graduate) with all the people who were in a particular major just because it would 'pay well when they graduate'. I remember a senior year EE major asking for my help (I was a freshman CS major... who grew up tinkering in digital electronics - building my own boards, etc) in designing his final project so he could graduate. I took his design that was like 40 IC's and would never have worked and got it down to 10 IC's and something that actually would work in an hour. I was spouting off 74xxx series chip #'s, knowing exactly what they did off the top of my head, and he had to keep looking them up in the databook to find out what their function was (this is early 80's). The difference was, it wasn't a 'job' for me, it was something I enjoyed doing and was interested in and had done for years as a hobby at that point.

Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert

[voxlator]

Those inflated requirements ?

Perhaps it's an obvious clue that the job being offered is about to be taken by someone wielding a H1-B visa - it wasn't posted in some obscure journal too was it ?

:o)

--voxlator

Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert

[Beliskner]

Funny, I read that one as a comment on the absurdly inflated requirements listed in job postings these days, not that he was actually unfit for the job he was doing.

Depressingly, I'm in this situation for real :-(

My manager is within earshot and I overheard him getting calls from the welfare office, I go to the welfare office's job postings website and to my horror I've found my own job on offer PLUS requiring certifications that I don't have. Despite the fact I've finished all my projects on time, they want someone with certification because that person would "seem" to be able to do the job better than me is my guess. I'm starting to lose faith in Capitalism, it just doesn't work, Sales teams can sell unfinished software (and regard selling bad software as a macho challenge), marketing teams can make the shoddiest trash look great. To be honest, after reading their description of my product, I feel like I'm making candy with all the toppings, not software

My manager told me "The Bug list for the software you just released is empty. Clearly our clients are unhappy with us and intending to switch to a different provider, I feel you have just lost us one customer, I would take it out of your paycheck but that might be illegal; don't expect a bonus this year"

Funny thing is, my Managers love Dilbert, and have somehow mentally distanced themselves from it applying to them. Perhaps they see it as a science fiction movie? Miners don't get treated like this because they turn to violence, perhaps that's what us software developers must do to prevent our jobs being outsourced offshore?

The Brittas Empire

[fermion]

It does sound like a british comedy. In fact it sounds like The Brittas Empire. Except in that one Gordon Brittas destroys the entire lesuire centre and comes out a hero. I think it is called rising to your level of incompetence.

The question it really raises is that of inflated levels of self esteem, or perhaps self worth. I prefer to think it is the later. In any case, it certainly illustrates the notion that an ability to initially present yourself as competent may be more important than in fact being competent. Unfortunately being able to fool people for a little while is often all that is needed to succeed.

Off topic, is there any official news on the Red Dwarf movie? Is a vapour or something that might happen?

Plagiarism? You decide...

[Anonymous Coward]

From the /. review:

He is completely unaware of the source of amusement he provides for his colleagues, particularly his nemesis, the laconic VP of Finance, and Hans Kartoffel, the German acting President of the group.

TJ applies the same cutting edge management techniques to his marriage, with similar results. He is completely oblivious to his wife's frequent affairs.

Now the amazon review:

Although they are always seen through the filter of T. J.'s unique view of the universe of which he forms the center, other characters too are interesting and fun, especially Ronnie, T. J.'s laconic nemesis, Hans, the ebullient German acting President of the company, and Grace, T.J.'s less than devoted wife, who puts up a spirited and entirely successful resistance to all his attempts to apply his management techniques to his marriage.

Also, one reviewer on Jan 14 2002 titled his review "Dilbert in prose" which is more-or-less the summary provided by the reviewer

methinks something is fisshy...if you're going to re-hash you should at least site the source of inspiration...

Re:Mainland Press is requesting stories...

[sql*kitten]

For the "The most disastrous business decision you ever witnessed" I would have to say IBM's decision to license DOS from Microsoft.

That's second.. the first would be Digital Research not taking IBM's calls, thus forcing them to go see MS in the first place :-)

Another particularly stupid thing IBM did was ignoring the RDBMS market for as long as they did, and letting Oracle get such a huge headstart. But it makes you think... IBM accidentally created two huge industries, PCs and databases, and gave them away, and it's still one of the most powerful corporations in the world.

Re:Did anyone read the review?

[RenaissanceGeek]

In less informed times (back when people believed that mice would spontaniously form if you left cotton and grain in a box together for long enough), it was also belived that bear cubs were actually born as undifferentiated blobs of flesh and fur. In order for them to achieve proper "bear" status, they had to be "licked into shape" by their mother.

Now, what was the problem?