United Nuclear

goombah99 writes "Hey Mr. Science, need a rocket pack for your bicycle? Look no further than United Nuclear scientific supply where under their dangerous products category you can purchase your own radioactive uranium ore, as well as a two million volt generator if you need one. Or what mad scientist can do without his own particle accelerator (which they advertise can mutate DNA in seed, explore the atom, or simply transmute elements)"

Comments

on second thought, pass the lead gloves please.

[sweeney37]

All of these samples measure over 40,000 CPM and we'll occasionally have some as high as 300,000 CPM.
This is 2 to 15 times the radiation level as our "High Radiation Level" samples.
Do Not store these samples on your person, and wash your hands after handling them.

Yeah, if I'm touching uranium that they label as being "Super High Radiation Level" I'm thinking I may want more than a "hand-washing".

Mike

Re:on second thought, pass the lead gloves please.

[gantrep]

Everyone is way too paranoid about radiation. Sure you wouldn't want to handle it every day, but a piece of uranium metal is not the same thing as a nuclear bomb, ok?

You can hold plutonium metal in your hand and you can even eat uranium metal with minimal harm.

Wow, huh?

Even though these samples may be very radioactive, most likely, the handwashing as they say is all you would really need. They're the experts, they deal with it. Trust them.

Re:on second thought, pass the lead gloves please.

[adagioforstrings]

Are these the same experts that say that Depleted Uranium weapons do no leave any harmfull after effects after they are used

Uh, I thought that was the point? I know what you mean, though, it just seems kind of funny:

Scientist 1: Today we're testing to see if there are harmful effects from depleted uranium weapons
Scientist 2: Righto. Commence with experiment.
(Scientist 2 activates 30mm chaingun with depleted uranium shells to deliver DU to test subject)
Scientist 2: Uh...harmful effects?
(Scientist 1 inspects test subject)
Scientist 1: Hmm, hard to say. Maybe on that bit over there?

Re:on second thought, pass the lead gloves please.

[Sayjack]

In the former German Democratic Republic, thousands of miners were working with Uranium ore. Twenty years earlier they died than the rest of the people, by average.

They should have washed their hands more.

important safety tip!

[Tumbleweed]

> Or what mad scientist can do without his own particle accelerator

If you get more than one, don't cross the streams. It would be ... bad.

Cats and dogs living together ... MASS HYSTERIA!

Happy Fun Rock

[citking]

Disclaimer packed with each ore sample:

Do not taunt happy fun rock. If happy fun rock starts getting hot, turn and walk calmly but quickly towards the nearest bomb shelter...

Re:Happy Fun Rock

[el-spectre]

When I was in high school, a teacher handed around a rock for us to see, and once it was 2/3 of the way around class, said 'oh, if you think you might be pregnant... don't touch that. It's mildly radioactive'

Thanks prof!

Disappointing...

[Otter]

This category contains samples of the most sought after Uranium ore, Pitchblende. Pitchblende is a jet-black, very heavy, semi-crystalline Uranium ore that is pure Uranium Oxide...Very rare and nearly impossible to find at any price. We've been searching all over the world for more Pitchblende for over a year now, and these are our last samples... when they're gone, they're gone.... Sorry, there are currently no samples for sale in the category.

I'm surprisingly disappointed given that I had no idea I wanted a piece of pitchblende. But they made it sound so enticing, and then I discover they're out...

Just what the radioactive Boy Scout needs....

[marbike]

Perhaps it is a good thing that this company was not well known when Dave Hahn was working on his breeder reactor.
http://www.dangerouslaboratories.org/rad scout.html

Slashdot Works For US Government - Stopping Terror

[docstrange]

Recent conversation between CMDR Taco and Donald Rumsfield.

Rumsfield: Hey CMDR Taco, there's this website we need to take down that sells nuclear supplies. We think that terrorists might be using them to build weapons of mass destruction.

Taco: No problem, i'll have a slashdot story posted immediateley. It should stop the website dead in it's tracks until we can permanently shut them down.

Rumsfield: Excellent, thank you for protecting our country.

No responsibility

[tarquin_fim_bim]

"A few of these projects will instantly kill if precautions are not followed. Although we have personally conducted every experiment & built every project here, we assume no responsibility for your attempt to do so."

I suppose a refund would be out of the question then.

Invade Slashdot

[mobileskimo]

• 
  Rumsfield: What do you mean these slashdot terrorist have no oil?
  
  CmdrTaco: They don't even have a country.
  
  Rumsfield: Oh well that's just dandy! Now I got two excurisions I need to explain!
  
  CmdrTaco: They have karma...
  
  Rumsfield: "karma"? Is it worth anything?
  

Suppliers like in "Science Made Stupid"?

[hiryuu]

I can't help but be reminded of some of the "supply stores" mentioned in "Science Made Stupid" as the places to get various dangerous things. U-235 rods from "Bud's Scientific Supply," anyone?

Footnote on page 25 (might not be in the web version linked above): "A fuller discussion of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle may be found in the Appendix. Then again, it may not."

Darwin's theory of natural selection beckons....

[Sayjack]

I can hear Darwin's theory of natural selection beckoning me to resign from the gene pool as I salivate and fantasize over my jet engine driven bicycle spewing lightning bolts as I complete my newspaper route with unprecedented speed and precision.... Can you feel it calling you as well?