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Keeper of the Objects

Posted by michael on from the wipeout dept.

cEnTiBeE writes that this is "not about the Matrix," but rather about Near Earth Object tracking. "It's accomplished by a staff of 2.5 people watching to see when any 'vermin of the sky' plan to pay earth a visit. This piece titled Keeper of the Objects is in the August '03 issue of Scientific American."

17 of 144 comments (clear)

  1. Just in case by Mr+Teddy+Bear · · Score: 2, Funny

    We should get Ben Afleck and Bruce Willis and some nukes together. You know... in case we need to blow them up... or I mean... the astroid. :-P

  2. How many people? by Eric_Cartman_South_P · · Score: 5, Funny
    It's accomplished by a staff of 2.5 people...

    2 and a half people? Cool. I wonder what the midget does.

    1. Re:How many people? by EverDense · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's accomplished by a staff of 2.5 people...

      2 and a half people? Cool. I wonder what the midget does.

      Fluffer?

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      http://jesus.everdense.com/
  3. 2.5 people? by Exiler · · Score: 2, Funny

    Which extra half do they use, and for WHAT?!

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  4. Let's count together by PaulK · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let's see...
    1....

    2....

    3...George! Watch out for that...(splat)...nevermind.

    2.5

  5. The scary asteroids. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny


    The scary ones are where the scientists watch them for a week, and only see the size grow, with no apparent movement across the sky.

    1. Re:The scary asteroids. by Jahf · · Score: 5, Funny

      Off-topic but ... Reminds me of a model rocket I launched once. Darned ejection charge didn't fire. It flew straight up ... and up ... and I was watching it from below going "wow". Then my brain clicked and said "it is getting bigger, MOVE". About 1/2 a second later it buried itself about 6" into the ground exactly where I was standing. I looked at the other camp counselor who was with me, she was dumbfounded, and we quietely herded the children (who were behind and under a protective barrier) off to the next activity. Always good to know that anyone can come close to winning a Darwin if they give themselves half a chance.

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    2. Re:The scary asteroids. by Rogerborg · · Score: 2, Funny

      > Unfortunately, Perpendicular movement with respect to the Earth is required to even detect these asteroids.

      Only at ranges beyond the atmosphere. Er, oops.

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  6. Too bad... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...this program wasn't in place when CowboyNeal was approaching earth.

  7. Mmm, delicious hamburgers by AntiOrganic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Dude! Look at the picture! It's Dave Thomas!

  8. McDonald's comparison by xihr · · Score: 5, Funny

    Remember, the total number of people involved in watching the skies for potential Earth impactors is fewer than the staff of one shift of a modest McDonald's restaurant.

    1. Re:McDonald's comparison by Zebbers · · Score: 2, Funny

      i really wouldnt trust the entire staff of the entire chain of McDonald's restaurants to protect us....

      McCrater anyone?

    2. Re:McDonald's comparison by femto · · Score: 3, Funny

      Seems fair, since the population is much more likely to die from the food in McDonalds than from an asteroid strike.

  9. people :| by atari2600 · · Score: 2, Funny

    We see them :) yeah we see them

    Observer1: How many people do you see there?
    Observer2: 2.5
    Observer1: I think i see almost three - what do you mean 2.5?
    Observer2: Yeah i see 2.5 - Saddam, Uday and Qusay - one of them has his head in another's ass
    Observer1: Oh!

  10. Re:Want To See Where They All Are? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Wow your webpage keeps track of 2.5 people every day?

  11. No, we really need... by aldousd666 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum; together they can use a mac powerbook to write a virus that affects even alien asteroid computers, and then use it to spy on the asteroid's built-in doomsday clock. When the asteroid's internal macintosh powered countdown reaches almost zero (of course it's measured in seconds) we then can sick Afleck and Willis on it with a tactical nuke. The world is safe! And we don't need to involve any other Neo's at all. (That would just be ridiculous)

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  12. Re:this guy should run for president... by pacman+on+prozac · · Score: 2, Funny

    I would guess those with enough money already have their own plans.

    I can't afford a nuclear bunker so I'll make do with a tinfoil hat and my "duck n cover" leaflet.