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Growth Job Sector: Freelance Technical Support
An anonymous reader wrotes: "Over at World New York, they've posted excellent advice to the geek masses: If you're out of work and know how to use a computer, you can make a killing doing freelance technical support." Update: 07/25 20:00 GMT by M : The author has asked that we link to the article on homepage.mac.com due to server overload. :)
It'll probably work.. until everyone's doing it.. I guess the real question is, "Is there enough idiots out there to support all the 'geeks'?"
I'm not the devil.. just his advocate.
I'd rather lay bricks in oklahoma in august, it's less frustrating, more consistant and pays just as well.
judging by the quick slashdotting, there must be a lot of unemployed geeks out there.
"I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines." - Mr. Furious, Mystery Men
$5 an hour with free cookies and milk to boot.
I mean, heck, just take a page from AT&T... (actual call!)
...
Me: Yeah, hi, I have a cable modem through you and...
Drone: You have a what?
Me: I have a cable modem, its not
Drone: You have a what?
Me: I. Have. A. Cable. Modem. High. Speed. Internet. You. Know? Its out, flashing lights...
Drone: Oh, you have broadband. Unplug your modem for 5 seconds, and then plug the network cable directly into your computer if you have a hub/router (obvious they have no clue what either is, its probably just in their script as such).
Me: I've already done that, and no, its not the hub, the hub works fine.
Drone: Let me send out a technician.
Me: ARGH!!!!
God I hate them. Thank you Speakeasy! At least they laugh when I tell them how much I hate the cable companies!
This is my sig. Its pathetic.
What a great opportunity to meet bored and lonely housewives.
[Knock Knock Knock]
Customer: Who is it?
Techie: Tech support.
Customer: I didn't call for any tech support!
Techie: Yes sir, I know. I am in the door to door tech support business. Can I interest you in some high quality tech support? My rates are very reasonable!
Customer: No, thanks. Goodb...
Techie: Are you sure you don't have bugs to troubleshoot?
Customer: No, really, thanks for coming, but....
Techie: Perhaps I could install some peripherals for you?
Customer: No!
Techie: Maybe I could run anti-virus software and defrag your hard drive. That's the special of the day!
Customer: No!
Techie: Any mysterious crashes I can diagnose, and then tell you you need to put in some more RAM and reinstall your operating system?
Customer: Well... wait, NO!
Techie: Maybe I could just open and close all your windows. I offer that service for only a dollar!
Customer: Go away or I'm calling the cops!
-- I Am Not A Terrorist.
I had a friend of mine, genius he wasn't, who tried this. His website is full of typos and grammar errors. That would fill me with confidence as a client.
My fave consulting story: he begs me once that he needs me to help fix someone's printer. Mac couldn't print. After some convincing (I was jealous he was doing it and I knew i was too lazy to get off my ass) I went over. Tried some basic stuff, didn't work. Went to core simple things:
Printer plugged in? yep, light on and everything.
Cable plugged into Mac? yep.
AppleTalk turned off on serial port? yep.
Printer cable plugged into printer? ummm, nope.
The kid also had a PowerCD, essentially a CD player you could use as a portable or hook to the Mac (i told you this was years ago). Kid wanted to show me some games, so to show me, he shut the computer down, removed the CD and restarted it. My jaw dropped slightly. "Umm, you know you can drag the CD to the trash can to eject it". "Wow, just like a floppy?" "yeah," I said "just like a floppy". I asked my 'consultant' friend why didn't he teach the kid that. He said "well, I didn't want to confuse him." Oh, so to not confuse him, you show him an alternate way of ejecting a CD instead of showing its just like all removable media. Umm, OK.
Hmm, then again this is the same guy who's car was on fire, didn't notice it, and when a cop pulls him over to kill the flames, pulls into a gas station.
Silly thing is, he got a lot of clients, including one of The Kennedys. He's going to her house, in her car, and she says "I have to stop by work for a second." Pulls up to the Merchandise Mart, at one time the only commercial building in the US with it's own ZIP code (they've since sold off their interests). he goes "wow, you work there?" "Kind of, I own it." Goes to show, sometimes you don't need to be smart, just have to look smart to the people paying you.
If you're out of work and know how to use a computer, you can make a killing doing freelance technical support.
In addition to making a decent wage and setting your own hours, you can decide how to respond to each customer without having to worry about what The Boss thinks of your approach:
Caller 1: "Hello? My computer won't work anymore!"
You: "When did you first notice the problem?"
Caller: "Oh right after I took it apart and washed all the components with warmy, soapy water. It was getting really dirty."
You: "You fuckin, fuckin, moron. No help for you!"
Caller 2: "Hello? I'm having trouble getting the floor pedal to work. How hard am I supposed to be stepping on it?"
You: "Floor pedal? What the fuck?"
Caller: "You know. That hand-shaped device with the rubber ball imbedded in it!"
You: *click*
Caller 3: "Hello? I can't get Microsoft Outlook Express to work with my AOL account."
You: "Well, Dude, it sucks to be you. If you were using pine on a Linux box I might be inclined to help you. But nooooo, you wanted to help Microshaft and AOHell strengthen their monopoly. Well, have fun with their tech support lines 'cause I sure as hell ain't gonna help your monopoly-strengthening lazy ass!" *click*
Yeah, I can see the freedom to provide the appropriate response a real bonus to this job!
GMD
watch this
"Oh, hello, Jim. How're things at World New York? ...oh...I see...hmm...well, let's see what we can do.
"First off, what do you see on the screen? ...Nothing? Is the server plugged in? Mmm-hmm...it is? Okay, that's good. And the power is on? ... you press the little button, but nothing happens. OK. And are any lights on? No. Hmm.
"It sounds like you may have a hardware--what's that? Really? Well, that's not good...yes, it does smell rather bad when that happens. *laugh* Yes, I can see how having the extinguisher right there came in handy...
"Well, I'm afraid...huh? Your backup just went, too? That's odd. That only ever happens when--hang on. *clickity tappity clackety CLACK*
Oh.
"Jim, have you ever heard of a website called 'Slashdot'?
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
Too late now, everyones going to be doing it now that they read about it.
Is this the first time an entire job market has been slashdotted?