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Mitch Bainwol To Succeed Hilary Rosen As RIAA Head
bmarklein writes "The RIAA has announced that it has named Mitch Bainwol, former chief of staff to U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, as chairman & CEO. He replaces Hilary Rosen, who left earlier this month. This confirms the speculation that the RIAA would appoint a well-connected Republican (Rosen was a Democrat)." Several readers have submitted links to CNET's coverage as well.
Update: 07/29 12:30 GMT by J : Lobbyists wield incredible power nowadays, and Slate's report on why was enlightening. Here's
part 1
and
part 2.
Includes lyrics to the rap recorded for Rosen's going-away party by some of the most powerful people in the world: "Who wants the job of Hilary Rosen? / How 'bout the dream team of Bono and Tauzin?"
U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist
Is this a Frist Psot?
My journal has hot
This confirms the speculation that the RIAA would appoint a well-connected Republican (Rosen was a Democrat)."
:-)
Well, I suppose from this wording there will not be any political flame wars generated from this....
Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
Damn, now I need to get that "Death to Hillary" tattoo removed.
Bugs are just features that have been fixed.
I think I'll have a good cry.
Bainwol said in a statement. "What could be more rewarding than helping to promote two great American traditions: music and property rights?"
Damnit... And all along I thought it was baseball and barbeques.
/me sits back and waits for people to start making fun of his name.....
You mean simething like: "Can you imagine a Bainwol cluster of these?"
The dogcow says "Moof!"
Well, in the time honoured tradition, repressed citizens of the freedom loving USA, can still flee to Canada. Maybe, just maybe, claiming persecution by the evil RIAA, will get you refugee status.
If anything, it will probably get the Vietnam vets and slave traders to spin in their graves at 45rpm...
Oh well, what the hell...
What would be more rewarding that promoting music and property rights? Hmmmm tough one there.
How about the immense joy, convenience and satisfaction associated with obtaining music online? Heck, how about masturbation for that matter.
I can't help getting the feeling that as the inevitable ganging together of the forces of evil accelerates, armageddon can't be far off.
Thank God I'm not sharing Midnight Oil or I could end up being 'liberated' in the head.
*knock, knock*
Hold on a sec....
Hey! What the..?! *PFhhT*
*thunk*
I FULLY SUPPORRT OUR NEW REPUBLIC KAN OVERLOARDS!!
Didn't he try to buy uranium from Nigeria?
He was just carried along by the angular momentum of the congressional/lobbyist revolving door.
is you kidding?
property rights almost DEFINE America!
But of course I wonder what the hell does that have to do with Copyrights and music.. copyright takes the concept of property right and flips it upside down.
I can just imagine if the RIAA was around in the early days of America:
RIAA exec: Hi there Farmer Joe, I'd like to talk to you about potential copyright infringements, specifically your Friday-night get-togethers where you sing unlicensed performances of Little Brown Jug.
Farmer: Git off mah property, monkey-suit boy! I bought that there sheet music fair an' square!
RIAA exec: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you only purchased the rights to perform it in the presence of yourself and one optional family member. Inviting the neighborhood over to "sing along" constitutes an infringment of the our rights.
Farmer: What the hell are you talkin' about! I BOUGHT that there sheet music, that there sheet music is mine, same as the door you're a-standin' in, and the gun I'm a-gettin right now to blast a hole in your flabby gut.
RIAA exec: Now now Farmer Joe, that's not how copyrights work, the rights to perform the song still belong to us. Now, we can settle this matter if you pay us $15,000, and we promise not to take away your house.
Farmer: You're an ijit. *BLAM* *BLAM*
He hasn't even DONE anything yet.
And we are just practicing.
Siggy Say, Siggy Do
"Gone are the days when Auto-Tune carried a song! I will bring back talent to the Industry!", Mitch crowed at a Republican fund raiser, to the applause of many rich, white fat men.
"It's high time the kids of today learned what music should sound like! I remember when talent drove the market, not the other way around! When I ascend to the throne, I will bring talent! I will bring value! I will bring CDs unencumbered with copy protection, and chock full of value!" Mitch puctuated these remarks with a pounding fist and spittle.
Mitch finished his speech to the attendees with a rousing cry, "The RIAA will no longer be the 'bad guy'! We will sponsor new artists and stick with them, developing careers and encouraging creativity! We will offer all signed artists with new contracts, spelling out exactly what they will make - no hidden accounting!"
"We will no longer chase file-sharers, who only do us a favor by expanding both our horizons with music, and purchase more CDs than ever before! We will never allow another American Idol or Making of the Band or manufactured marketing-friendly boy band again! All copyrights will revert to the original artist!"
"I will personally include a puppy with every single sold! *HAHAHAAHAHA.cough cough..oh shit, I thought I could keep a straight face! Pass the bong guys, *wheeeezee* this is going to be great! I can't wait to absolutely wreck music forever! These shits are gonna be scared to look at a guitar, much less pick one up when we get done with them..I am gonna be SHITTTIIING moooonnnneeey, muthafuc...*hack* Oh, Bushies here!!! WHoooHOOO! Let's DO SOME LINES!!! Where's the White Lady??HAHAHAhaha..."
This re-enactment is for entertainment only. It is not intended to portray Republicans as evil, rich, fat white, self-serving drug monkeys. Nor did Mitch ever say any of these things in front of me. Thank you, and please drink republicanly. ;)
Interesting... I've always assumed that the RIAA wasn't lead by a head, so much as a collection of asses...
Parking in a 'No Parking' zone:
- $40-$200 fine
Petty Theft:
- $200 fine to 90 days' jail
Aggravated Assault:
- 90 days to 5 years' jail
3rd Degree Murder:
- 3 to 10 years' jail
2nd Degree Murder:
- 8 to 20 years' jail
Associating With A Person Who Is Known To Have Had KaZaa Installed On Their Hard Disk:
- 25 to life!
-- In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was UNSIGNED, and the main(){} was without form and void...
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