Slashdot Mirror
Slow And Steady Leads To Windows Refund Success
linuxwrangler writes "By proceeding carefully, documenting everything, being persistent and keeping his cool, Steve Oualline was awarded a $199 refund for his unused copy of Microsoft Windows XP. See his Linux Journal howto for the details. Hopefully this is the first of many victories."
EPISODE I: DOWN AND OUT
...
The day always starts early at Fog Creek Software. But it's 2003 and tech jobs are scarce what with the Indians, Siamese, Cambodians, and Chinese all cutting in.
Now I'm respecting of all religions, creeds, and philosophies, I just don't want it crammed down my throat. In fact, I don't want ANYTHING crammed down my throat. But I know coding. That's why I was hired. Cream always rises to the top. I used to work for a large Fortune-500 company, but that dried up a long-time ago. I've written some great things that companies are still using. I am good.
I wouldn't normally consider working for such a small company but I need a job BAD. It's just a matter of simple economics - supply and demand - too much supply too little demand. I've been on so many job interviews I can't even recall: I've done puzzles, brain-teasers, work-outs, flirted, done improvisation, duck-called, pretended to be a phone, had seven poly-graph tests, thirteen background checks, two MRIs, performed reflex analysis, brain-scans, and taken more Rorschach's than I care to remember. But interviewing with Joel at Fog Creek Software was the worst...
It all starts the same: he spills hot coffee on your crotch. Why, even after seeing other subjects being put through this torture, would that even remotely qualify as a probing interview technique I cannot being to fathom. So yes, everyone, three-minutes in, starts with a wet-crotch. I guess this gives him some sort of leg-up, him sitting there crotch dry and all. You, looking like a third-grade bed-wetter.
Next you're asked to don flippers and a diving mask. Your put into a harness and attached to rigging suspended from the ceiling. You are then WOOSHED from room to room like a bag of dry-cleaning. Even though my mask started to fog up later in the day, what I saw really troubled me. It was like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Some rooms were obvious sensory deprivation, other were bizarre crypts of some sort, others were oddly-reflective with some sort of mucus. WOOSH. A room, people yelling. WOOSH. Unspeakable acts of horror. WOOSH. Three-D images leaping towards me. WOOSH. Daylight and silence.
Joel enter pulls the release on my rigging and I slam to the floor. You have five minutes to code a string parse routine. It's quite easy and I'm done in three and spend the next two minutes on documentation. He is pleased.
Joel comes over to my cubicle for his mid-day shoulder rub (mine not his). I would like to say it makes me uncomfortable - at least more uncomfortable than his new-hire "interns" who always seem very prepubescent and hairless - but somehow I think sexual harassment laws don't cross his mind. I got a wife and a one-year old baby girl to support, I have to gut it out no matter how horrible, at least until the economy turns. I've been here a year and it seems like a lifetime and I think I'm changing for the worst.
I still think of those other rooms I'm not allowed in. Everyone once in a while I see an intern run back there, and I hear rumors. But for the most part people leave me alone to code - I don't take no shit.
Joel, seeing I'm done with my ASP for the day makes me read some very strange white-papers. Says he wants to say something profound for tomorrow's home-page. He thinks he's some sort of Moses - bringing righteousness to the people. Joel turns off the lights and makes me read by candlelight. I find the theme of the article and email him about UI is now OUT and "sensing" is now in. I'm sure I'll have to write that article as well.
I leave and turn out the lights
I'll be here early tomorrow too because jobs are scare...and the day always starts early at Fog Creek Software...
"This isn't a study in computer science, its a study in human behavior"
Who wants to live in California!?
The Gay Nigger Association of America (GNAA) is the group that represents the world's Gay Nigger population as well as those non gay, non nigger patrons that support it. Its mission is to foster a gay and free-loving climate that supports and promotes our members' creative and financial vitality. Its members are the gay niggers that comprise the most vibrant national gay nigger conglomerate in the world. GNAA members create, manufacture and/or distribute approximately 90% of all legitimate pro-homosexual propaganda and blue, rubber dicks produced and sold in the United States.
We strongly urge you to join the GNAA and support our cause. Gay Niggers everywhere need your help!
BE NIGGER!
BE GAY!
JOIN THE GNAA!!
Join #GNAA on the EFNet IRC Network today! (irc.secsup.org, irc.easynews.com, irc.servercentral.net)
________________________________________________
| ______________________________________._a,____ |
| _______a_._______a_______aj#0s_____aWY!400.___ |
| __ad#7!!*P____a.d#0a____#!-_#0i___.#!__W#0#___ |
| _j#'_.00#,___4#dP_"#,__j#,__0#Wi___*00P!_"#L,_ |
| _"#ga#9!01___"#01__40,_"4Lj#!_4#g_________"01_ |
| ________"#,___*@`__-N#____`___-!^_____________ |
| _________#1__________?________________________ |
| _________j1___________________________________ |
| ____a,___jk_ GAY_NIGGER_ASSOCIATION_OF_AMERICA_|
| ____!4yaa#l___________________________________ |
| ______-"!^____________________________________ |
` _______________________________________________'
-posted by GNAA member ssj
gathers GAY NIGGERS from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY NIGGERS.
Are you GAY ?
Are you a NIGGER ?
Are you a GAY NIGGER ?
If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time GNAA member.
GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the fastest-growing GAY NIGGER community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America. You, too, can be a part of GNAA if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
First, you have to obtain a copy of GAY NIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE and watch it.
Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAA "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website
Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on EFNet, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!
If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is EFNet, and you can connect to irc.secsup.org or irc.isprime.com as one of the EFNet servers.
If you do not have an IRC client handy, you are free to use the GNAA Java IRC client by clicking here.
If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.
This post brought to you by Penisbird , a proud member of the GNAA
G_____________________________________naann_______ ________G
N_____________________________nnnaa__nanaaa_______ ________A
A____________________aanana__nannaa_nna_an________ ________Y
A_____________annna_nnnnnan_aan_aa__na__aa________ ________*
G____________nnaana_nnn__nn_aa__nn__na_anaann_MERI CA______N
N___________ana__nn_an___an_aa_anaaannnanaa_______ ________I
A___________aa__ana_nn___nn_nnnnaa___ana__________ ________G
A__________nna__an__na___nn__nnn___SSOCIATION_of__ ________G
G__________ana_naa__an___nnn______________________ ________E
N__________ananan___nn___aan_IGGER________________ ________R
A__________nnna____naa____________________________ ________S
A________nnaa_____anan____________________________ ________*
G________anaannana________________________________ ________A
N________ananaannn_AY_____________________________ ________S
A________ana____nn_________IRC-EFNET-#GNAA________ ________S
A_______nn_____na_________________________________ ________O
*_______aaaan_____________________________________ ________C
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aliquam mollis, libero non facilisis vehicula, quam sem fermentum urna, at porttitor neque odio nec purus. Morbi felis. Mauris arcu turpis, dignissim sed, tristique sit amet, euismod ac, tellus. Pellentesque sit amet nulla. Vestibulum volutpat. Fusce viverra mattis orci. Phasellus sed ante. Vivamus nu
This story very much upsets me, and I'm sure this will be modded down as flamebait, but I have to say it anyways.
Hating Microsoft is rediculous. A company that manages to become a multibillion-dollar corporation is GOOD BUSINESS.
You can disagree with this all you want, but you filthy GNU/Hippies know I'm right.
What's this fucking lunix fag going to do with his $199, buy some weed? DIE IN A FUCKING PLANECRASH YOU FILTHY MOTHERFUCKING LUNIX FAGNIGGER!
If you wish to disagree, please come to #GNAA on EFNet (irc.secsup.org).
-D`Ildo
BITCH! Gimme my money back!
slashdotted in 0.2 seconds, must be at least a top 10 entry ;)
Life starts at the end of your comfort zone.
"George W. Bush: Too stupid to know any better."
You are overestimating his intelligence. He is a LOT more stupid than that.
i am so happy i browse at -1
I'm the Christian the devil warned you about
The gay one that smokes crack and lies to the IRS?
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
I do it wrong
Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman^H^H^H^H^H^H^HGNAA. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
Massaging my nutsack she....
WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her^H^H^Htheir gaping freshly fisted ass.
OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!
Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!
I DO IT WRONG!!!!
I continue to hump her alabaster form. Glistening with beads of sweat, she bites her lip in delight as I tear her ass open with my engorged dick.
Queen Amidala!! I shreik as I near climax.
She looks up at me and screams, You are so alive in me, unlike *BSD or VA Software!!! Fill me with seed!! Yes, Yes, Yess!!!!
For me you are calling, hhhmmm?
YODA?!? What the fuck, can't you see I am using the force here?
He savagely kicks my Natalie^H^H^H^H^H^H^HGNAA aside, he pulls out his large green penis and impales me...
I DO IT WRONG!!
All your sporkz are belong to the dead homiez!!
Proof of the gay-linux conspiracy!
ha ha ha!
n/t
Forget the whales - save the babies.
Search the text of the parent for "Rob Malda had"...
Hopefully this is the first of many victims.
The anatomy of Pac-Man is very simple if one does not consider how Pac-Man moves, sees, hears, melts, etc.. The primary function of Pac-Man is, of course, eating. Body - Pac-Man is exoskeletal. The "skin" is actually a thick yellow shell, which in addition to offering protection to predators, allows Pac-Man to hide unseen in a box of jawbreakers or Nuprin. Mouth - This is Pac-Man's only visible external organ (unlike some of his clones and successors, who had the luxury of eyes.) Some believe that the opening and closing of the mouth, in addition to allowing Pac-Man to eat everything around him, also propels him forward. Brain - Pac-Man's tiny brain helps him distinguish dots from ghost monsters, keeps his mouth moving, and does very little else. Jaw Muscles - Pac-Man's only muscles are located in his impressive jaws. They are strong enough to move rapidly for long periods of time without any noticeable fatigue, and allow Pac-Man to injest blue monsters that are the same size as he is! Appendix - Pac-Man's appendix doesn't do anything, but hasn't caused him any problems yet. Stomach - This is Pac-Man's largest organ, taking up nearly 90% of his body, and is basically a storage space for dots, fruit, ghost monster flesh, keys, etc. until it can be digested. Pac-Man's digestive system, amazingly enough, actually utilizes EVERYTHING he eats. No waste is generated. Update: Pac-Man has gas! It creates phermones that attract ghosts. Also, Pac-Man can't eat ghost eyes.
Wow! I guess if a guy doesn't enclose his post in <humor></humor> the joke totally goes over the heads of the moderators!
I would've preferred being modded down for "not funny."
quiquid id est, timeo puellas et oscula dantes.
Steve Oualline joins the crew of MTV's Jackass, writes several skits for Tom Green and TRUTH, and curses president Bush on live television while receiving an accademy award.
"YRO" is waaay overused on this site.