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New Microsoft Mouse Scrolls Both Ways

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the yes-i-said-it dept.

Library Spoff writes "The BBC are reporting that Microsoft are bringing out a mouse that will use the scroll wheel to tilt as well as roll. The innovation means that users will be able to scroll vertically as well as horizontally without using on-screen navigation bars." How long before I get a trackball embedded in my mouse?

8 of 736 comments (clear)

  1. excellent... by SpineZ · · Score: 4, Funny

    this sure will help me keep one hand free while looking at these 1600x1200 "pictures."

  2. Let me guess... by MarkGriz · · Score: 5, Funny

    Introducing, the Microsoft BiMouse. That Mouse that Scrolls Both Ways (tm)

    --
    Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
  3. Scenario by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    MAN AT BAR: [coughs conspicuously, smiles]
    WOMAN AT BAR: [politely but nervously smiles back]
    MAN AT BAR: My, uh, mouse goes both ways, if you know what I mean.
    WOMAN AT BAR: [begins to quietly edge away]

  4. Re:I don't want horizontal scrolling. by stratjakt · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's more to life than webpages.

    Some people use some sort of crazy software called a "spreadsheet" or some stuff, and it goes sideways and up and down and back and forth and all topsy turvy in a world where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing is as it seems.

    --
    I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
  5. Re:Apple had a similar idea! by Vexalith · · Score: 3, Funny

    What, you mean Microsoft copied something from Apple? This is news... how?

    Am I the only one who uses a repeated backward "flick" of the finger to get through a document really quickly? If the wheel didn't have any resistance it wouldn't stop, and wouldn't be to useful.

  6. Re:Apple had a similar idea! by The+Bungi · · Score: 5, Funny
    Bungi's Mac Theory #19:
    When discussing GUI innovation, the probability that someone will say "Apple already did that" approaches infinity faster than you can say "Xerox".
  7. Bonus Feature by Doesn't_Comment_Code · · Score: 4, Funny

    Another bonus feature of this new mouse is that is only clicks Microsoft programs and products.

    For your safety, the mouse will not open any programs that Microsoft doesn't make money off of. It could be a virus.

    Furthermore, whenever you do click a Microsoft product, the mouse will waste your bandwidth be automatically connecting the internet, contacting Microsoft, and checking all your serial numbers to make sure your licenses are up to date.

    Then, if you have old software that has an update release from Microsoft, the mouse will open a browser where you can download updates (for a fee of course).

    Then to save you the hassle, the mouse will move the cursor over the Download Updates link and click for you, automatically charging your credit card.

    We hope you enjoy your new Microsoft mouse with added features. And don't forget to sign your EULA before opening the package.


    --

    Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
  8. That's OURS! by SkjeggApe · · Score: 3, Funny

    HEY!!!
    SCO has the exclusive copyright on the multi-scrolling mouse. Prepared for exortion!!!!
    Oh, wait, is that you Mr. Gates? Sorry, we didn't mean to.. eh.. we just got a bit carried away, yes, we do remember, oh please let's still be friends.. it'll never, ever happen again.... sorry ....