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Techs Discover End Users Aren't So Bright
hkypipe writes "In response to a CNN story slamming tech support, a former tech fired back. He correctly points out that much of the trouble end users have with their PCs can be traced to their skillset, which in many if not most cases would make them more qualified to operate an Etch-A-Sketch." Not everyone who calls support is clueless though. How many of us have had to sit on hold for hours and reformat a hard drive as DOS just to convince the tech support lackey on the other end that a hard drive really is bad? The article also covers other factors like scripted support, and per-customer time limits, which can make for a poor tech support experience.
Well I never! Here I was thinking people always read the manual, always took the time to understand what they were trying to do, always listened to instructions and never tried to do something stupid.
Who'd have thought?!
From THIS???
"why doesn't my cupholder work"
My personal favorite is when the RoadRunner tech support drone refuses to believe that some computers don't need to be rebooted to change network settings. But no matter what you tell them, they refuse to put down their precious script and accept that maybe, just maybe, I'm not running windows.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Yep.. end users seem to be getting worse IMO.
:-|
There is no excuse not to be learning how to use a computer in this day and age, yet the majority of support calls I get are for people with most basic problems.
"Oh, my start menu has moved up to the top of the screen! No, I never did anything to it, it just went by itself!"
"Everything in my Inbox has vanished! No I never pressed delete! I think I know how to use the email thankyou!!" - "Funny, but our records show that it was you who deleted the email.."
And so on.. most end users think tech support guys just came down with the last shower, and think they can lie about how they have just broken the machine.
Can be frustrating sometimes
"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!!"
Delivering Clue to Users An o'reilly book never written
I am currently using Comcast cable internet, formally ATT&T internet....formally @home.
We have outtages in our area from time to time, not as bad as it used to be, but they do pop up. Every time I try to call the 800 number to tell them an outtage is in the area, I get the same canned response.
They always say, "sir, we can't see your computer, are you hooked up to a router"?
I say "well, yes, but that's not the point. The connection is out in this area...I'm just reporting it to you as you don't have it on your outtage board."
"I'm sorry, we don't support routers, please plug your computer directly into you cable modem."
At this point, I'm getting a little irritated..."no, I'm not, I'm reporting a outtage...there is NOTHING wrong with my equipment. Nothing has changed on my settings. I'm not going to sit here, re-route my cables and change settings just so you can finally know there is an outtage in my area. Trust me, the problem is on your end."
"Sir, I can't help you unless you follow my directions".
Ok, so the first time through this, I go with everything they tell me, and finally after 45 minutes of trying everything under the sun short of putting all my computer parts in a paper bag, going out on my lawn, waving it over my head and screaming like a chicken...they finally figure out that it's a problem on their end.
Now I don't even mess with it, I call them up when an outtage happens, and get all my neighbors that are out to call them also. I cut them off right away, and tell them they'll be getting 5 other calls from the neighborhood telling them the same thing and hang up.
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon.
Tech support needs to stop thinking of end users as the enemy and start thinking of them as what they really are, its bread and butter.
True. Supporting end users has a lot in common with eating a lot of butter - both lead to heart attack.
Clear a etch-a-sketch... shake it till the grit shakes around covering the data
Clear a hard-drive... shake it till the grit shakes around covering the data
See, it's easy!
Over night, one of my hard disks had developed about 10,000 bad sectors. I called Gateway support.
"Sir, do you know how many sectors are on that hard disk?"
"500,000 or so," I said. This was 1994, and it was a 1G disk.
"So you've got a lot of GOOD sectors left, right?"
Uh . . . BWING! Head hurts! Owwww!
After an additional 20 minutes of idiocy, they finally decided to replace the disk under warranty. After which, I decided the best course of action if I ever had to call back with the same (or similar) problem would be -
"Hello, Gateway support? My hard disk is on FIRE."
"What??"
"My disk is on fire and Windows won't boot any more. What should I do?"
Any sufficiently advanced technology is insufficiently documented.
I have turned off The computer several times and every time I turn it back on it says "You may safely turn off your computer"
"What does it say next to the power button?"
"NEC MultiSync"
This
Years ago, I had a Sun Enterprise 150 as my "home box" -- it's basically an Ultra-1 with a bunch of disk; looks a lot like an E450.
Anyhow, my cable modem stopped working one day. So, I called tech support, and told them. Long story short, I was a student at the time, and since the University had a deal with Cogeco, they felt obligated to at least not tell me to fuck off because I wasn't running Windows... but they weren't much help, either. After consulting with his boss, my telephone lacky got back to me -- "I'm sorry sir; Suns don't work on the internet".
I felt like reaching right through my phone and choking the living daylights out of him!
It turns out the local cable installer had put a one-way filter on line.
Assholes.
Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
Go here. Follow links. Watch video. Laugh your ass off.
- -
Are you an SF Fan? Are you a Tru-Fan?
But at issue was not the HOW you treated him, but the WHY.
I have done tech support for over 20 years becuase of all the roles I have had in creating software. By the time I normal;y got the problem, it was VP yelling.
You have to start off controling the customer experance but explaining HOW you are going to determine what is wrong, and appligise for putting the person through the experence. This in almost every case (I have not had problem) calms all down and gets the process done quickly.
One old piece of equipment, its reset button required the user the hold it and count to five. We could not get a user over the phone to do that. So instead we requested that the bring the power cord back to phone to help determine the model. Of course the cord was a standard "PC" style of cord we use today. But that trick allowed the machine to fully reboot. After words we explained why did have them do it. And they all laughed and UNDERSTOOD why we did it. It made both sides have fun. What we liked was some of these guys we did this too, started to use the same methods with their internal people for the same reasons.
The better stories though, were telling them to disconnect the equipment and drop it on the floor... We had a few arguements about breaking the equipment, and we pointed out that IT WAS FULLY WARRENTED, that was why you called us in the first place... You called because it was broken, and if dropping it does not fix it, we would still be sending them a new box. So what is the problem?
Box was a single flat board with a heavy metal backing - dust built up on it over years of use, dropping knocked the dust loose.
*meow*
Yeah, yeah. The folks answering the phones typically are minimum-wage drones following their scripts. What I want to know is the magic phrase to get them to forward me to 2nd level support, who presumably know more about computers & networking.
Could it be something as simple as "Free pizza if you forward me to someone smart" ??
Chip H.
My most recent tech support experience was about 5 years ago and went something like this:
Tech Number 1: Hello, thank you for calling XXXXXX. How can I help you?Me: Hi! I'm running MacOS 8.6. Recently, my internet connect has gotten very flaky. I can connect with no errors and do anything I like for the first 30 seconds or so with no problems. But then I either get disconnected or have a system crash.
TN1: Hmm... We had a guy a few months ago with those systems. He had a corrupt DNS cache; deleting the file cleared up his problems.
Me: Great! Do you know which file it is?
TN1: It was in the system folder.. I think it was named DNSCache or something like that. Just look for a file with DNS in the title.
Me: Ok, I'll try that and see if it works.
TN1: Actually, I'm not a Mac expert; let me transfer you to another guy who knows a lot more about Macs than I do and he can make sure your problem is fixed.
Me: OK.
Tech Number 2: Hello, thank you for calling XXXXXX. How can I help you?
Me: Hi! I'm running MacOS 8.6. Recently, my internet connect has gotten very flaky and disconnects or crashes frequently. The other guy suggested I delete the DNS cache. Do you know anything about that?
TN2: OK. The first thing we're going to try is to reboot your computer and see if that clears the problem.
Me: err.... yes; I already tried that. It didn't help. TN2: Sir, you could not have rebooted your computer already. The process takes a minute or two.
Me: I meant, I rebooted the computer earlier, before calling you. The problem persists despite rebooting.
TN2: Yes, sir. Move your mouse over to the "Special" menu. You do see the special menu, right?
Me: Yes.
TN2: Good! Now hold down the mouse button, drag down to "restart" and let go of the mouse.
Me: (sigh)
Mac: Boing!
TN2: OK, it sounds like your computer is rebooting.
Me: OK, can I now tell you that rebooting did not fix the problem?
TN2: Just one step at a time. Let me know when the computer has rebooted.
(pause)
Me: OK, it has rebooted. TN2: Great! Now lets see if the problem is still there.
Me: It is,
TN2: Have you tried connecting to the Internet just now?
Me: I only have one phone line, so I can't connect while using the phone.
TN2: Are you running control strip?
Me: Yes.
TN2: Great! Look for an icon on your control strip which looks like a globe.
Me: Let's pretend for a moment that I click the icon and open the OpenTransport control panel. I then click the default button of "connect". You hear a loud click, my modem plays a "Boop-beep-beeep-boop" as it dials the number, and there is a long pause. Then Open Transport will display the error message: "Unable to connect: Remote site did not answer". Now what do you want me to do?
(long pause)
TN2: Sir, do you have one line or two?
Me: Like I said earlier, just one.
TN2: Just so I understand, do you mean that the modem is connected to the exact same line as your phone, the one you and I are using right now?
Me: Yes.
(pause)
TN2: (official voice) Sir, I am sorry, but you will be unable to test your connection to the interent during this call.
Me: Yes.
TN2: So, what we need to do.... We need to end this call. Try connecting to the internet after we hang up. And if it doesn't work, please call right back at XXX-XXXX and we'll get some help for you.
The ironic part is that since I didn't call him back, he thinks he must have helped me.
One of my favorites from tech support went like this:
Customer: My computer is broken and I need it fixed.
Me (after hearing description of the problem): That sounds like a software problem.
Customer: I don't use software
"For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert"
This actually happened to me one day. This user was in marketing (big surprise) and honestly had trouble finding where to plug the power cable into his laptop.
LUser: "Can you please increase the power to my LAN segment?"
Me: "Come again?"
LUser: "Please increase the power to my LAN segment."
Me: (amused enough to wonder what the hell he was on about this time) "Why do you need the power to your 'LAN segment' increased?"
LUser: "I'm printing a document and it comes out very light, lighter than everyone else's. Obviously my LAN segment is weak."
Me: (dude, it ain't your LAN segment that's weak) "Have you been watching 'Star Trek' again?"
LUser: "Beg pardon?"
Me: "Nothing.. let's go have a look. I'll bet your laptop went into a special 'Power-Save' mode that drops the power-output from the NIC."
LUser: "The what?"
Me: "The thing on your laptop that the LAN plugs into."
LUser: "Not the power supply.. that's OK."
Me: (very alarmed now, but not showing it) "No, the little blue cable with the clear plastic end on it."
LUser: "Oh.. ok."
So I walk over to the other side of the building to inspect his machine. After giving it a thorough "going over", I switch his printer setting from "Draft" to "Normal". Then I jiggle the network cable and pronounce the "LAN Segment" at full power...
Another satisfied LUser.
I have something in common with Stephen Hawking...