Techs Discover End Users Aren't So Bright

hkypipe writes "In response to a CNN story slamming tech support, a former tech fired back. He correctly points out that much of the trouble end users have with their PCs can be traced to their skillset, which in many if not most cases would make them more qualified to operate an Etch-A-Sketch." Not everyone who calls support is clueless though. How many of us have had to sit on hold for hours and reformat a hard drive as DOS just to convince the tech support lackey on the other end that a hard drive really is bad? The article also covers other factors like scripted support, and per-customer time limits, which can make for a poor tech support experience.

Comments

Dur

[Anonymous Coward]

Well I never! Here I was thinking people always read the manual, always took the time to understand what they were trying to do, always listened to instructions and never tried to do something stupid.

Who'd have thought?!

Have we learned nothing..

[403Forbidden]

From THIS???

Re:Have we learned nothing..

[FuzzyBad-Mofo]

That's a great site. I like this gem:

* Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."
* Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"
* Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."
* Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"
* Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."
* Tech Support: "You did what sir?"
* Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."
* Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"
* Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."
* Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.

* Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"
* Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."
* Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

Silence.

* Tech Support: "Sir?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"
* Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?"
* Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"
* Customer: "Ummmm."
* Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"
* Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"
* Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."

Re:Have we learned nothing..

[CoolVibe]

Me: "Hello, helpdesk.
user: "Yeah, hi. I can't seem to connect to the internet"
Me: "Ah, right. What operating system are you running?"
user: "Netscape"
Me: "No, what version of Windows are you using?"
user: "Uhhh... Hewlet Packard?"
Me: "No, Right click on 'my computer', and select properties on the nice li'l menu"
user: "Your computer? It's _MY_ computer!"
Me: "No sir, I mean the little picture called 'my computer' on your desktop"
user: "I don't see an icon called that on my desktop. I do see one called that on my screen."
Me: "Right, just right click that, and choose Properties from the menu"
user: "right-click?"
Me: "Just a moment, Sir." *mutes phone* AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

This went on for a while. Somewhere I just snapped and had him format his disk and call the manufacturer. As long as he _stayed_ ot of my hair.

Please reboot.

[BandwidthHog]

My personal favorite is when the RoadRunner tech support drone refuses to believe that some computers don't need to be rebooted to change network settings. But no matter what you tell them, they refuse to put down their precious script and accept that maybe, just maybe, I'm not running windows.

Re:Please reboot.

[SiO2]

Exactly. I ran into this same scenario when I signed up for Road Runner. The exchange went something like this.

Me: I would like to sign up for Road Runner.
Tech Biscuit: Fine, sir. What operating system are you running?
Me: Mac OS X.
Tech Biscuit: And what version of Windows is that?
Me: It's not Windows.
Tech Biscuit: What version of Windows?
Me: It's not Windows. It's OS X.
Tech Biscuit: You're not running Windows? How can you not be running Windows?
Me: Look, just schedule a fucking lackey to come out and install the splitter. I'll do the rest myself.

I've had my share of bad tech support.

[ScottGant]

I am currently using Comcast cable internet, formally ATT&T internet....formally @home.

We have outtages in our area from time to time, not as bad as it used to be, but they do pop up. Every time I try to call the 800 number to tell them an outtage is in the area, I get the same canned response.

They always say, "sir, we can't see your computer, are you hooked up to a router"?

I say "well, yes, but that's not the point. The connection is out in this area...I'm just reporting it to you as you don't have it on your outtage board."

"I'm sorry, we don't support routers, please plug your computer directly into you cable modem."

At this point, I'm getting a little irritated..."no, I'm not, I'm reporting a outtage...there is NOTHING wrong with my equipment. Nothing has changed on my settings. I'm not going to sit here, re-route my cables and change settings just so you can finally know there is an outtage in my area. Trust me, the problem is on your end."

"Sir, I can't help you unless you follow my directions".

Ok, so the first time through this, I go with everything they tell me, and finally after 45 minutes of trying everything under the sun short of putting all my computer parts in a paper bag, going out on my lawn, waving it over my head and screaming like a chicken...they finally figure out that it's a problem on their end.

Now I don't even mess with it, I call them up when an outtage happens, and get all my neighbors that are out to call them also. I cut them off right away, and tell them they'll be getting 5 other calls from the neighborhood telling them the same thing and hang up.

Re:I've had my share of bad tech support.

[wfberg]

Every once in a while, though, they're right. Three years ago, I was having intermittent problems with my cable modem.

Call up tech support. One of the things she asks: "is the modem plugged into a surge supressor?"
Me: "of course."
Tech:"Unplug, and plug directly in wall."
Me (dripping in sarcasm) "Oh, I'm sure that's the problem."
So, to humor her, I move a bunch of furniture (disconnecting the phone in the process). Low and behold, the sumbitch is fixed.

Now, previously I'd been rebooting by unplugging the adaptor from the back of the modem, so it wasn't a simple power cycle. Can anyone explain why this fixed it, or did she just get lucky?

1) simple surge surpressors are single use and when they do encounter a surge they're supposed to burn straight through, maybe a semi-surge semi-burnt it out?
or, most likely,
2) when you told her you actually went to do it, she quickly fixed the problem at her end, so as to mystify you, so you would NEVER doubt tech support ever again LART LART LART!

Re:Support techs are like any specialists

[InsaneCreator]

Tech support needs to stop thinking of end users as the enemy and start thinking of them as what they really are, its bread and butter.

True. Supporting end users has a lot in common with eating a lot of butter - both lead to heart attack.

You May Not Turn Off Your Computer

[ellem]

I have turned off The computer several times and every time I turn it back on it says "You may safely turn off your computer"

"What does it say next to the power button?"

"NEC MultiSync"

Cogeco Tech Support

[multipartmixed]

Years ago, I had a Sun Enterprise 150 as my "home box" -- it's basically an Ultra-1 with a bunch of disk; looks a lot like an E450.

Anyhow, my cable modem stopped working one day. So, I called tech support, and told them. Long story short, I was a student at the time, and since the University had a deal with Cogeco, they felt obligated to at least not tell me to fuck off because I wasn't running Windows... but they weren't much help, either. After consulting with his boss, my telephone lacky got back to me -- "I'm sorry sir; Suns don't work on the internet".

I felt like reaching right through my phone and choking the living daylights out of him!

It turns out the local cable installer had put a one-way filter on line.

Assholes.