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New Transmeta Chip: "Efficeon"
ddtstudio writes "Oh, "Astro" was such a friendly name -- but it probably had trademark issues. So the alphabet blender came up with "Efficeon" instead. This eWeek story gives the lowdown on what Transmeta is doing apres Linus. There's also a writeup on ExtremeTech."
Does anyone besides me read this as "F-ing Con"? Maybe my problem is that seems like a good description of Transmeta's current business model.
Why do companies like Intel, AMD, and Transmeta keep having to name processors so they sound like they came straight from the mouth of Rob Schneider's SNL character The Richmeister?
The Celer-on, the Opter-on, the Athl-on, the Effice-on.
It's not good for marketing, guys! Everybody hates Rob Schneider!
Until Slashdot fixes the funny modifier, use insightful or interesting. The poster knows your intentions.
...sounds rather lameon.
The English will be able to enjoy their Efficeon Chips!
That joke is so bad, I'm questioning if I should post it.
Ahhh, whatever!
I propose we stop with these new-fangled blender names. I propose Transmeta call this new chip "The Scotsman."
Nothing is cheaper with the power than "The Scotsman!" Cue intel-sounding theme, but with bagpipes.
You're darn right there were copyright issues with the name "Astro."
quiquid id est, timeo puellas et oscula dantes.
It could be worse. The could have named it Ogg Vorbis.
Behold my power saving and dispair!
Boobies never hurt anyone. - Sherry Glaser.
Efficeon --that name has a, ummm, ugly sound to it.
If it's not too late, maybe the marketing dept. at Transmeta might consider some of my suggestions: "MakeAwisheon"
Or maybe: "ImProudthatImPolisheon"
or "Wishwasheon"
or "Bullisheon"
or "Squisheon" (my favorite)
If I start getting direct marketing from Transmeta, I will be seriously pissed. I get enough direct marketing every day already, I don't need more junk stuffed in my mailbox or telemarketers on my phone, not to mention spam in my e-mail.
what Transmeta is doing apres Linus
The use of french words are no longer allowed in courriel^Wemail.
The Right Reverend K. Reid Wightman,
Transmeta Effaceon...The chip that hates itself.
Powering an android near you soon.
From the article:
So will I be able to turn it all the way up to "Max 300"?
Will I retire or break 10K?
Efficeon sounds like an Autobot that transforms into a flourescent bulb.
"Derp de derp."
- SingleAtom technology squeezes the entire processor into a single atom which contains over a million protons with modified quark structure. The instability caused by the enormous number of protons causes the processor to decompose with a half-life of under
.000000000000000000000001 microseconds. The processor takes full advantage of this characteristic of heavy atoms and uses an antigravity-like technology to push the protons into the proper configuration. The processor executes its instructions through constant realignment of its protons.
- The processing pipeline has been broken down into 299,792,458 discreet steps, enabling Intel to remove the internal clock altogether and run the processor at the speed of light. One "cycle" represents the absolute cosmic measure unit of time, and all operations occur in one cycle.
- 24,856 new instructions have been added since the previous model, bringing the new total to over 72 trillion instructions. All SCO intellectual property can be programmed in one instruction, increasing SCO revenues due to legal action.
- RAM has been depreciated. 4 exabytes of internal general-use registers allow software to make more efficient data access, providing a more compelling Internet experience.
- Intel (r) AnswerNow (tm) Technology bends the space-time continuum, allowing the results of branch instructions and mathematical operations to be used before they are computed. The computations take place during idle cycles at some future time.
- Intel (r) CodeSpirit (tm) Technology processes machine code by its spirit, rather than its letter, completely eliminating software bugs and preventing malicious code, such as a virus, from executing.
- Intel (r) AlienCode (tm) Technology, based on CodeSpirit, allows users to execute programs written for any other processor, without previous knowledge of that processor's instruction set. The technology examines and "decyphers" the instructions and data in much the same way that scientists decypher written languages used by past civilizations. Via AnswerNow and CodeSpirit technologies, programs written for other processors actually run faster and better on Intel platforms than on their native processor. As a side effect, the processor now directly executes programs and scripts written in Java or any P-code or text-based language. In fact, even instructions spelled out in English are understood and executed by the processor.
- Intel (r) BrainWaves (tm) Technology allows the processor to read and write information in the user's mind. The processor is given away for free, and based on the user's thoughts, targetted advertisements are inserted directly into the user's mind. The process is painless, and simply feels like a song stuck in your head. A nominal (i.e., expensive) fee can be paid daily to eliminate the advertisements.
- Intel (r) NoPower (tm) Technology allows the processor to run by harnessing the energy present in the universe on a quantum scale. No electric current is required to operate the processor and since it consumes the energy present in the physical matter from which it is made, the processor absorbs all heat it might otherwise generate, operating as a perpetual energy source. This also causes the processor to run at 0 Kelvin, making it the coolest running processor ever released.
Buy one today!