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Insurance Claims to be Tested by Lie Detector

Posted by michael on from the whiplash dept.

Albanach writes "HBOS, one of the largest UK banks is to introduce random lie detector analysis of insurance claims according to this article from the Edinburgh Evening News. The three month trial will see calls from its 1.5 million policy holders randomly subjected to voice stress analysis. Those flagged up will then receive a set of questions designed to expose 'potential fraudsters'."

4 of 307 comments (clear)

  1. Simpson's quote by Lord_Slepnir · · Score: 5, Funny
    Detective: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?

    Moe: No

    Lie Detector: BZZZT!

    Moe: All right, I did. But I didn't shoot him.

    Lie Detector: Ding!

    Detective: Checks out. All right, sir. You're free to go.

    Moe: Good, because I have a hot date tonight.

    Lie Detector: BZZZZZT!!!!

    Moe: A date

    Lie Detector: BZZZZZT!!!!

    Moe: Dinner with friends.

    Lie Detector: BZZZZZT!!!!

    Moe: Dinner Alone.

    Lie Detector: BZZZZZT!!!!

    Moe: Watching TV

    Lie Detector: BZZZZZT!!!!

    Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.

    Lie Detector: BZZZZZT!!!!

    Moe: Sears Catalogue.

    Lie Detector: Ding!

    Moe: Now will you unhook me already? I don't deserve this shabby treatment!

    Lie Detector: BZZZZZT!!!!

  2. Obligatory Simpsons quote by DorkHead · · Score: 5, Funny

    FBI agent Scully : This is just a simple lie-detector test. I'll ask some simple questions and you should answer with yes or no. Do you understand?
    Homer : Yes.
    [ The machine blows up ].

    --
    Head of the Dorks
  3. Re:Silly by mikerich · · Score: 5, Funny
    Wouldn't it be natural to have stress in your voice if something has happened in your life causing you to file an insurance claim?

    Not to mention stress induced by the 'Press 1 to speak to a human being who sounds like a machine, Press 2 to speak to a machine who sounds like a human being ... [BLIP]

    You pressed 1. Press 1 to speak to a person in Edinburgh, Press 2 to speak to a person in Bangalore, Press 3 ... [BLIP]

    You pressed 2. If you want to learn more about our low, low rates Press 1, If you want a cuddly toy as seen in our adverts Press 2, If you actually want to talk to someone Press 3 ... [BLIP]

    You pressed 3. Are you sure you want to speak to someone? Press 1 ... [BLIP]

    whirr clickity

    Hello and welcome to the queue to join the queue to talk to one of our service representatives, you are number [pause] fifty-seven in the queue, estimated wait time is [long pause] - do you have any plans for October? While you are waiting, do you know about our other services?' rigamarole.

    Best wishes,
    Mike.

  4. From the article: by lungofish · · Score: 5, Funny

    He added that it could also lead to lower premiums.

    BZZZZZZZT! LIE DETECTED.