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Solving a Wiring Mess?

FueledByRamen asks: "While trying to run a new power line for a large Sun mass-storage cabinet (located nowhere near a 220 outlet of course), I had the misfortune of needing to pop the lid on my main power distribution panel (previously opened in the late 80s). The whole thing is a rats nest and probably a fire hazard - old-style wiring with broken-down cloth/plastic insulation strewn everywhere, and the utility's incoming power cables have some sort of junction in them that's the size of a 1-liter bottle (on each wire) and is covered in layers of electrical tape. Even (gently) putting the panel back on jiggled something important, and there was a nasty cracking noise and half the breakers blew (all breakers in one of the 2 columns). I've worked with mains voltage in the past (wiring new rooms, installing lighting), but nothing on this scale, both in terms of complexity and potential for death. How do you industrious Slashdot readers go about fixing a mess like this (on a tight budget, no less) without getting a mains-induced glimpse at the great beyond?"

26 of 769 comments (clear)

  1. Outsource by druske · · Score: 4, Funny
    ...How do you industrious Slashdot readers go about fixing a mess like this (on a tight budget, no less)...
    Hire someone from China or India to do it! :)
  2. 3 steps by ThePlague · · Score: 4, Funny

    1. Let the thing catch fire
    2. ??? (Collect insurance)
    3. Profit!!

  3. Don't you have any interns at your place? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's the kind of job they get to do.

  4. Just spray it away by AtariAmarok · · Score: 4, Funny

    Just go down to your friendly appliance store and get a can of "Cable-B-Gone" (tm)

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  5. Blackout by EmagGeek · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are you sure YOU weren't the cause of the blackout of 2003?

  6. Where's the smiley? by dfung · · Score: 4, Funny

    You've got to be kidding right?

    My god, I expected this to be signed "a recently unemployed power grid manager in Ohio"...

  7. Re:Good grief by Frymaster · · Score: 5, Funny
    what you really need is a wireless power distribution set up. there's one here:

    http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/9654/t esla/projecttesla.html

  8. Re:buy the cheapest parachute you can! by WTFmonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Heh, reminds me of a story. I used to work at Home Depot, and one of the regular electrical customers said that, in whack-job wirings like you have, he would be able to tell the difference between 110v and 220v by grabbing it the wire. If it hurt more, it was 220. If it hurt less, it was 110. He quit coming in one year, and I always wondered what happened to him...

  9. I don't have my power back yet by ipnetworker · · Score: 5, Funny

    You Insensitive Clod.

    --
    Port 80, we dont need no stinckin port 80.
  10. Pay me now, pay me later... by tinrobot · · Score: 4, Funny

    You have two options:

    1) Hire a professional electician at a very high rate of pay to rewire the box and make it safe.

    2) Hire a burn specialist at an extremely high rate of pay to patch your smoking body together after attempting to fix it yourself.

  11. Phrases most commonly heard before death by siskbc · · Score: 5, Funny


    5) Mike Tyson sounds like a girl.

    4) Honey, that's just the PMS talking.

    3) [Redneck accent]Hey y'all, watch this...

    2) Betcha can't...

    1) We'll save a lot of money by not hiring an electrician...

    'Nuff said.

    --

    -Looking for a job as a materials chemist or multivariat

  12. Re:Good grief by Kircle · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think what he really means is if anyone from /. is willing to do this for him. In other words, he's saying: "if someone dies, please let it be you and not me."

    --

    -- Kircle

  13. Re:Hmm, well now ... by bigpat · · Score: 4, Funny

    come on now, with such technical jargon as "jiggled something important, and there was a nasty cracking noise" ... I'm guessing this guy is a professional, he just came to the wrong place.

  14. You're Kidding, Right? by Esion+Modnar · · Score: 4, Funny
    IANAE.

    So, lick the terminals to find out which ones are hot (works with 9V batteries). Then, standing in a bucket of water, grab a big handful of cables and PULL.

    Ignore the fizzing and the smell of burning hair. Douse any lingering flames with gasoline.

    --

    They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
  15. Re:Good grief - In the good old days by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    What, you're scared of 220 Volts ? When we were growing up, we walked 200 miles through six feet of snow, wearing no shoes, and we repaired 2000 volt circuits with our bare hands. :-)

  16. Future Ask Slashdot Questions by Hoi+Polloi · · Score: 5, Funny

    How do I perform brain surgery on myself?

    What is the best way to travel about in a war zone?

    What is the best way to tell my spouse that she needs to lose A LOT of weight?

    How can I get close to the President while carrying a handgun?

    How can I steal power from a high tension line?

    --
    It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
    1. Re:Future Ask Slashdot Questions by aminorex · · Score: 5, Funny

      1) Cocaine for local, and lots of valium. Get
      some mirrors, peel back the skin, and use a
      hole saw or dremel depending on what kind of
      access panel you want. Apply more cocaine.
      Apply more valium. Get a paper clip hot with
      a bunsen burner and cauterize the tumor.

      2) Get the best night vision goggles you can,
      and ceramic body armor, kevlar helmet. Don't
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      Depending on prevailing rules of engagement, wear
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      Try to stay close to heavy cover, such as
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      3) Get a skinny mistress.

      4) Join the secret service.

      5) Invest in Enron.

      --
      -I like my women like I like my tea: green-
  17. In the same vein... by Soko · · Score: 5, Funny
    (Shamelessly lifted from this page, though I've seen many versions posted in college and in electrical shops...)
    1. Beware the lightning that lurketh in an undischarged capacitor, lest it cause thee to be bounced upon thy buttocks in a most ungentlemanly manner.

    2. Cause thou the switch that supplies large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, so thy days may be only on this earthly vale of tears.

    3. Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded, less they lift thee to high frequency potential and cause thee to radiateth also.

    4. Take care thou useth the proper method when thou taketh the measure ofhigh voltage circuits so that thou doth not incinerate both thee and the meter; for verily, thou hast no account number and can easily be replaced, the meterdoth have one, and as a consequence, bringeth much woe unto the supply department.

    5. Tarry not amongst those who engage in intentional shocks, for they are not long for this world.

    6. Take care thou tampereth not with interlocks and safety devices, for this will incur the wrath of thy seniors and bringeth the fury of the safety officer down about thy head and shoulders.

    7. Work thou not on energized equipment, for if you doth, thy buddies will surely be buying beers for thy widow and consoling her in other ways not generally accepted by thee.

    8. Verily, verily I say unto thee, never service high voltage equipment alone, for electric cooking is a slothful process and thy might sizzle in thine own fat for hours on end before thy Maker sees fit to end thy misery and drag thee into His fold.

    9. Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances, lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug, and thy wife be frustrated nightly and have no further use for thee except thy wage.

    10.Commit thou to memory the works of the prophets, which are written in the instruction books, which giveth the straight dope and which consoleththee, and thou cannot make mistakes, sometimes, maybe.

    Author unknown
    Soko
    --
    "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
  18. Re:Good grief - In the good old days by berzerke · · Score: 5, Funny

    What, you're scared of 220 Volts ? When we were growing up, we walked 200 miles through six feet of snow, wearing no shoes, and we repaired 2000 volt circuits with our bare hands. :-)

    You call that tough. When I was a kid, we didn't even have hands.

  19. Re:Good grief by mizhi · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well shit, now we know how the blackouts occurred.

    --
    Humorless sig goes here.
  20. Re:All this reminds me of a joke... by ratfynk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Whats brown and hangs on to a wire, ...unqualified electricians.

    --
    OH THE SHAME I fell off the wagon and use sigs again!
  21. Re:buy the cheapest parachute you can! by ColaMan · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ha!

    A friend of mine and I were leaning over a running engine on opposite sides of the car.
    He touched an ignition cable and the current went :
    - Up his arm
    - Down his legs to earth
    - Up *my* legs to crotch
    - from my crotch to frame of car that I was leaning against to look in engine bay.

    Ow. Sure didn't see that one coming!

    --

    You are in a twisty maze of processor lines, all alike.
    There is a lot of hype here.
  22. Re:Good grief by Zak3056 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Good god man, leave that mess alone and hire a professional that knows what they are doing. Don't ever put your life in the hands of Slashdot; are you utterly insane?

    I'm half expecting the next "Ask Slashdot" to start, "Dear Slashdot, This morning I was diagnosed with acute Apendicitis. I've fooled around a little with self dentistry in the past, but I'm not entirely sure I'm up to a job of this magnitude..."

    --
    What part of "shall not be infringed" is so hard to understand?
  23. Whats next - Solving a sanitary mess? by plierhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    FueledByRamen, you're one crazy son of a bitch, but I salute you - you've got balls (well, at the moment you have, assuming you haven't tried out any of the /. advice yet). And I am really looking forward to your next post "Solving a sanitary mess" when your toilets block up.

    Seriously though, there is life outside whatever burnt out dot com shell you are currently living in, with only the roaches keeping you company. You need to get out and get your bare feet on the grass for a while. Smoke something. Lie in the sun with your eyes closed. Try and forget there was ever a place and time when you thought it would be smart to do your own high voltage wiring.

    --

    [x] auto-moderate all posts by this user as insightful

  24. Reminds me of the time ... by ShipIt · · Score: 5, Funny

    I worked at a medium sized amusement park while in college. The park was over 35 years old and much of the wiring and junction boxes were equally as old.

    Late one summer night, with the park full of people, all the lights on 'main street' went off.

    I was nearby the park's main junction box and helped one of the engineers, an unassuming guy who had worked at the park for years, by holding a flashlight while he started work on the box.

    The box was ancient. Cloth wrapped wires. Giant fuses. Old rusty exposed mechanical switches. The works. For whatever reason, one of the main switches had popped open. The engineer first tries popping it back in place. The lights flicker and it just pops back out.

    The guy looks at me and says "Point the light at the ground. Help me find some old wire". He searches around with his hands for a minute and finds a snipping of some very heavy guage plastic insulated wire.

    To my shock, the guy closes the switch shut with one hand while using the other to hold the insulated part of the wire and *arc-welds the switch shut* with the wire's exposed conductor! Sparks flew, the lights snapped back on, and I damn near shit my pants. This good old boy engineer didn't even blink. "That should hold it until we can get someone out tomorrow".

    The only thing I can figure is that he was somehow electrically insulated, perhaps from his huge set of balls for even considering something like this.

  25. Re:Good grief - In the good old days by Jardine · · Score: 5, Funny

    The key too handling high voltages safely, is to become a good resistor

    So resistence...is not futile?