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Movie Industry Blames Texting for Bad Box Office
cybercuzco writes "The movie industry is blaming poor sales of such movies as Gigli, The Hulk and Charlies Angels not on the fact that they were poor quality, but because people text message other people telling them that the movie stinks. Industry executives say that this undermines a carefully crafted marketing image. Expect texting to be banned by the MPAA in the near future."
This article made me laugh more then Mario Cantone on the Denis Leary
roast. Who thinks this stuff? Colin Quinn should get this writer on the
payroll for tough crowd.
"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of." - Burt Bacharach
Word of Mouth Ruled Illegal - Film at 11
Governments are not necessary.
Where's the foot icon?
Coke retroactively blames the touch-tone phone for poor sales of the New Coke.
"By accepting the terms of this license to watch the following movie, you agree to not say anything bad about the movie. If you cannot accept the terms of this license, please leave the theater now and ask for (but don't expect to receive) a full refund of your ticket price."
First the music industry decides to sell us justin timberlake dogshit, the economy goes sour and their sales go down and they sue us. Then the movie industry decides lesbian jennifer lopez mafia hitwoman movies with ben affleck are what the people want, the economy goes sour and their sales go down... can we expect any less from jack valenti?
Stupid people make stupid things profitable.
Hey, that's probably a lot easier than getting rid of bad movies. :)
However, I would imagine that hollywood is by and large safe because the majority of people do not have cell phones that support "text-messaging".
What we would really have to watch out for is if some technological renegade could come up with some way that "text messaging" messages could be encoded into normal speech, allowing people without even cell phones to "text mssage" each other warnings about bad movies simply by coming within a close physical radius. If that happens, Hollywood is doomed.
Although I am a bit perplexed. They suggest people did not go to see Gigli because these "text messages" warned them it was a bad movie. However, I do not have a "text message" capable cell-phone, yet I knew Gigli was a bad movie anyway, becuase all the media outlets I follow had been consistently running stories for two weeks before Gigli was released warning me that it was going to be a bad movie. Perhaps this "text messaging" of which they speak has somehow hijacked cnn.com and nyt.com, causing "text messages" warning of bad movies to masquerade as normal news? Wouldn't that be illegal? Hmm.
Clearly there is much to think about here.
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
Where is Jay Sherman when you need him.. *sigh*
Just when you make it idiotproof, some idiot builds a better idiot.
So they admit that their product stinks, but through the use of "carefully crafted" marketing they can make people think junk = treasure. But that plan only worked as long as they could keep word of mouth from spreading too quickly. In other words, they don't like reality, but prefer their crafted message designed to fool people into seeing garbage.
And it would have worked too if it hand't been for you meddlin' kids!
Nah, people are just not doing what they are supposed to do. They listen to their friends instead of falling for the flashy commercial. I say we impose a MPAA tax on text messages to cover up the lost profits.
Either that, or outlaw friendship.
True ravers don't need drugs
I hope you know that by reading a book, and going outside, you may lose your posting privileges.
You, sir, are in violation of the DMCA, as you have just discussed methods to bypass the movie industries security procedures. They have pumped millions of dollars into our nation's economy in order to prove that their movies are worth watching. You are advocating that people use free resources in order to determine the quality of movies for themselves, which bypasses the movie industry's security procedure of bald-faced lies, and contributes nothing to the national economy. You are obviously a terrorist and a communist. Expect to hear from our hired goons shortly.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
For your security, this post has been encrypted with ROT-13, twice.
The MPAA is trying to get a bill passed that will let it DDoS SMS systems when they sense a bad review of a movie.
Please mod the original article down -2 for trolling and flamebait. :-)
Jouni
Jouni Mannonen | Game Designer, Consultant
I can just imagine it. Buy your ticket for 9 bucks and then sign a non-disclosure agreement before viewing. Anybody found violating said agreement will be forced to work craft services for J-Lo's next movie.
It's not stupid. It's advanced.
The "Defense" Industry and the Energy Industry got together to get a massive government subsidy to make war on some poor schmuck Third World dictatorship and take over its energy resources, coincidentally among the largest in the world.
All the MPAA and RIAA have to do is think up a War on Irate Consumers or something, and have the government spend billions of dollars over a period of, say, 50 years in order ot bolster the MPAA's and RIAA's dim-witted business models.
More likely they'll pull a page from SCO and make anybody who actually wants to watch a movie sign a non-disclosure agreement before they can enter the theater....
People are already gagging as they leave the theater, after having paid $$ to watch the latest JLo POS.
Isn't something that causes bad movies to loose money a good thing? From a market driven economy point of view. If bad expensive movies loss money then studios will stop making them. Instead of spending huge amounts of money for big names and effects they might start looking for better stories , new idea, and even new talent. Maybe the will drop the ticket prices a little and not charge so much for popcorn. I am convinced that gram for gram movie popcorn may be the most expensive substance on earth.
Naw. There must be a problem when good marketing can not sell a bad product!
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
While I'm sitting there watching a movie at the theater I text all my friends vivid details of what's going on. It's almost like downloading the "cam" version off the internet anyhow... this just saves them all time...
*hangs his head and sticks out his arms ready for the cuffs*
Whats next, a "walk thru EULA"?
.....Money not refundable in the event that you do not agree to these conditions.....""
"..... By walking through these cimema doors you agree to the following conditions....
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know when your gonna get food poisoning.
I can turn my thumb down a lot faster than I can push 8 4-4 4-4-4 7-7-7-7 6 6-6-6 8-8-8 4-4-4 3-3 7-7-7-7 8-8 2-2-2 5-5 7-7-7-7
Promote civility: mod down any post starting with 'ummm'.
since they can't get away with it as easily anymore, perhaps we'll see less bad movies?
"Teachers leave us kids alone
Maybe the average European teen is just dumber then their US counterparts. I was waiting in line at the movies the other day, and heard some teenagers asking for tickets to "2 Fast 2 Furious". Oh, goddamnit.
What time is it/will be over there? Check with my iPhone app!
The irony about all this is that their slogan on that stupid "Respect Copyrights" commercial is
"Movies. They're worth it."
The marketing for Charlies Angles 2 in the UK was hilarious. There were two distinct styles of ads, one which urged people to see it early "to be one of the first", and one which urged people to go see it with a large groups of friends because they'd enjoy it more. It was so transparent that they wanted people to see it early before someone warned them not to bother and see it in a large group so one person wouldn't warn all their friends. I loved the original film and I was looking forward to the sequel, but those ads pretty much told me (a) it sucked and (b) the studio KNEW it sucked.
'nuff said.
"Flyin' in just a sweet place,
Never been known to fail..."
Sometimes they say "For forensic pathologist..." as well.
For example, suppose you sell overpriced and unoriginal music. Suddenly it's easy to copy and distribute music, so sales lag. The solution? Under the "old" logic, you would improve the quality (both artistic quality and media convenience) and reduce the price. The new logic, on the other hand, dictates that you should lower the your product's quality and ease of use, and that you should sue your customers. This is justified, because you have a right to a bigger profit than last year.
Suppose you are a Unix vendor whose product sucks. You try to catch the Linux bandwagon, but you have nothing to offer, and your company is on the verge of bankruptcy. Under the old logic, you would diversify your business away from proprietary Unix, using your name to sell services. But remember, your rights have been taken away! You cannot sit idly by; you must inflate your stock with insane claims about your competitors, annoy large companies, and completely destroy your name. The courts, the media, and the investors are your friends, and you must trust they will return to you your much-deserved profits.
Now that you know more about the logic that runs the world, you can understand the ideal course of action for the MPAA. Do you succumb to the outmoded free market theories, improve your products, and stop saturating the market with overhyped films? No! You should lash out against free speech, a discredited idea which has been pirating your profits for far too long.
Litigious bastards
Also, if you look at international gross, ID4 actually grossed more than all the Star Wars pictures except for Phantom Menace. How such a stupid movie gets the third highest gross of all time is beyond me.
Because it has "Star Wars" in the title. Lucas could release a movie called "Star Wars: This One Really Sucks Ass" or "Star Wars: The Jar Jar Saga" and hordes of Star Wars fan sheep (including plenty who read this site--you know who you are) would be lined up to watch it.
Nobody has suggested killing a messenger, the article simply identified the problem with the "drop-off". If you insist, however, I have another option on how to handle these messengers, and of course, it involves the infamous "there ought to be a law":
Everyone knows that wireless services are an open network for illegal transactions such as bad movie reviews that are in direct contradiction with the carefullly crafted advertisements and previews from the MPAA. This is costing the movie industry lost revenues and wasted advertizing dollars. Here are the numbers:
1. There are over 6 billion people in the world;
2. Half of all population will have a cell phone by 2005 - that's 3 billion people;
2. At least 1 in every 3 people sends a text message to a friend per day, that's 1 billion text messages a day;
3. Naturally, we assume that all those text messages are bad movie reviews so that's 1 billion bad movie reviews a day;
4. At an average worldwide ticket price of $5 per show, movie industry is losing $5 billion per day!!!
5. There ought to be a law to make these ill-conceived activities illegal that cause legitimate, and fairly marketed products fail so miserably.
I propose a Digital Movie Critics Act (DMCA) that will mandate that all wireless providers monitor all text or multimedia messaging transmissions between their subscribers. In the case that they detect a bad movie review being transmitted, or a negative comment made on any MPAA product without authorization, the case with all personal information of the subscriber will be reported directly to MPAA for further investigation.
Based on the goodwill of MPAA, if they determine that an illegal act has been committed, they will be able to recover damages from each individual violator. Damages will be set as follows: from $500 up to $150,000 per incident, depending on the advertizing cost of the movie being critiqued and/or up to 5 years imprisonment per incident. Wireless service provider will be required to terminate the subscriber's service.
Coming to a theatre near you...
Jason vs Aliens vs Predator vs GODZILLA vs J-LO's gargantuan booty
errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
Three year olds don't have the lobbying power to get Federal laws enacted.
;)
Obviously you've never stood in line at a grocery store with a 3 year old wanting a candy bar... half the people in the line offer to buy the entire damn candy isle, just to shut the litte snot up. That kind of power can go a loooooong way in lobbying Federal laws...
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Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
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Together, we will drive the rats from the tundra.
No, text messaging MUST be the reason why less people are seeing movies! I mean, before text messaging, humans really didn't have any kind of communication that they could use to warn their buddies about crappy movies.