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Cubicle Etiquette?
zrgn asks: "Our team is moving to an open office type environment in a couple of weeks. The problem is that most of them have never worked in that type of setting before and thus may not know the do's and don'ts associated with a cube farm. I have two questions: what types of cubicle etiquette things have Slashdot readers come across that may help us in the new environment? (ie. don't listen to your voice mail on speaker phone); and What are some creative ways to relay 'cubicle rules' to the rest of the team?"
Second, in the interest of improving coordination and communication among all the people who you work nearby, make sure you hit the speaker phone button and turn the volume up, and don't forget to speak REALLY loud (remember those speaker phone microphones can't hear so well). This way everybody can hear your phone conversations since there are no pesky cube walls to block the sound. This will save you the time of having to explain the conversations that you just had will your coworkers that may be directly involved with what you do. Also, people who don't have anything to do with your job will get a chance to know how important and hard working you are.
Third, get some screen reading software. Use this all the time with the volume turned way up. This, like the previous advice will increase the likelihood of your coworkers getting valuable information from what you do, which they previously may not have been aware of.
Fourth, consider the savings of not having to call or email your co-workers! After all they are sitting just 40 feet away! There's no need to get up. Just yell out there names and have your conversation with them from your desk.
Fifth, you will be most comfortable and productive in this environment if you don't worry about hiding certain activities which where previously blocked from view. Go ahead and pick that annoying booger and whip it under the desk, feel free to scratch where it itches. We are all human anyway, and everybody was doing these things before, so to hell with it.
Sixth, buy a second monitor. Make it point the opposite direction of your monitor and mirror its content. Since your screen and the actives you are performing are already in the public view you might as well save the people the hassle of walking behind your monitor to peer over your shoulder. Note that this was not an option before the cube walls where taken down. And your nearby co-workers will appreciate the latest and greatest of your comments that you posted to slashdot. Note this step may not be necessary if followed the third piece of advice.
Hope this helps! Before I did all these things nobody ever noticed me in the office, and so I was often over looked. But now I'm the most talked about employee in my office!
I once worked in an office where a developer thought it would be a good idea to return a volley of Nurf darts stuffed with flaming toilet paper... Needless to say management was not to pleased with this decision! So I guess this should be slotted in the "do not do this" section of cube etiquette ;)
"1984" was ment to be a warning, not a guidebook. You hear that Kim Jong-il!? BushCo?!
Have food services ditch the beans from the menu.
There's nothing like Fish and Chips with lots of malt vinegar. I keep extra bottles in my desk. It's also good on plain potatoe chips.
Garlic has many health benefits and I recommend chewing it raw as often as possible.
Beans are also healthfull.
Also crackers with a healthy hunk of lindberger cheese is a great snack in the mid afternoon.
134340: I am not a number. I am a free planet!
>The janitors will not dig through your pile of >printouts to find your week-old pesto pieces, but >there are six legged clean-up crews that will.
You have six legged rats?
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I reside in the Engineering cubes. We like to pretend we're on the Enterprise by tapping our chest and shouting the name of whoever we wanna talk to. Couldn't do that when we had offices.
(Note: I'm not really being sarcastic here.)
"Derp de derp."
You have six legged rats?
Sorry. I neglected to mention what industry I was in.
-- MarkusQ
Make sure that you hoard those nice red staplers that will now be in plain view.
So much to do, so little bandwidth.
--
Try Mozilla
Here's a list of rules for behaving in a school computer lab; they should work equally well in a cubicle farm.
Get a laptop with 802.11. Take it into the bathroom with you and you'll have an office with a door!
Moving to an Open Office environment, eh? I'd start here! http://www.openoffice.org/FAQs/faq-questions.html Ohhh, open office.... :P
12.B) Don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend/creature what you plan to do to/with/in them over the phone at any volume. I don't want to hear it as it's a mental image I don't want.
13) I can hear you fart/belch/slurp, so don't rip 'em while your in your cube. You'll find your chair missing in the morning if you do... And no, *smiles* I have no idea where your chair went. Was that the expensive one you brought from home?
US Democracy:The best person for the job (among These pre-selected choices...)
I don't have kids OR a spouse, you insensitive clod!
Fuck the system? Nah, you might catch something.
1. Find out who's the highest-ranking pillock to use his/her speakerphone to listen to voicemail.
... Profit!" to this list. Are you amazed at my originality?
2. Have a friend of an appropriate sex call him/her up and give him the following message:
"Darling! Last night was the most amazing experience of my life! Did you really mean it when you said you'd leave your wife/husband/etc and run away with me to Madagascar? I'll be round at [some time about half an hour after he/she usually listens to voicemail] with my suitcase and string bikini! See you soon snooky-wookums!"
3. Watch the results.
4. [Please note how I did not add "3.
: Bat :
I have discovered a truly remarkable
Make sure to place all your computer monitors as close together as possible (ie on the other side of the cube wall). That way when someone presses degauss it will degauss the whole office!
Terry Tate, Office Linebacker
Chris
Pet peeve of mine at my last job:
A coworker had this habit of brining in noisy toys, like the talking Sponge Bob Square Pants, dancing hamsters, etc. He'd routinely set them all off in succession several times a day. It didn't help that he himself had 2 voice levels, loud and bleeding eardrums. Nothing spoils your concentration like having to listen to a hamster sing "Kung Fu Fighting" followed by Sponge Bob's laugh, followed boing various "Boing!" "Crash!" etc sounds.
Others insisted on routinely using speakerphones for conference calls, even when several people in the same area were on the phone. Still others didn't understand the concept of "headphones".
There was also the guy who, when lobbing nerf darts and hitting someone, would scream out "OOOOHHHHHH!!!!" regularly. He'd also try to sing and play a guitar.
Now, if there were a normal office, it might possibly be semi-excusable (assuming you don't mind this stuff, or have a good set of earplugs--I recommend ones with the highest rating you can find, usually they're in the shooting supplies subsection of the sports equipment section of your local Mega-Lo-Mart), but this was a support center, where several people would routinely be on the phone with customers. The last thing THEY want to hear are all those sounds that drove me up a wall.
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." --H.L. Mencken
At least I have the satisfaction of knowing as soon as we figure out who is doing that, they're fired.
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The #2 rule
I worked in a cube farm where somebody was always using his speaker phone to check his voice mail. One day while he was doing that, a bunch of us went into an empty office, dialed his voice mail number, and left a message where we screamed at the tops of our lungs "STOP FUCKING USING YOUR FUCKING SPEAKER PHONE TO CHECK YOUR FUCKING VOICE MAIL, YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCKTARD". We all went back to our desks and when he got to the end of the messages, we heard the "beep - you have one new message", and grinned as he pushed the button to listen to it.
He transferred soon afterwards.
The next Cmdr Taco duplicate will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
I used to work with a woman whose presence was known because you could _smell_ when she was in when you stepped off the elevator. Funny though it all ended the day a guy walked in and said "What smells like French whore?"