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RIAA Settles With 12-Year-Old Downloader

Posted by timothy on from the can't-make-this-stuff-up dept.

Murdock037 writes "It looks like the RIAA has rushed to settle with 12-year-old Brianna LaHara, after serving her with a lawsuit on Monday. It looks like her single mother will be paying a $2,000 fine to the RIAA for her daughter's song-swapping, which they had thought was legal. Said Brianna: 'I am sorry for what I have done. I love music and don't want to hurt the artists I love.' What a relief this must be for the Rolling Stones."

15 of 1,688 comments (clear)

  1. The fight of the century! by Tyrseil · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ah, yes. The multi-billion dollar company vs. the 12 year old girl who lives in a city housing project. Truly a battle of titans.

    --
    Everything I say is a lie...
    1. Re:The fight of the century! by KU_Fletch · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hey, that 12 year old girl had it coming with her holier than thou "I like music" attitude. Good thing the RIAA stepped up and put an end to that rubish.

      --
      It's not stupid. It's advanced.
    2. Re:The fight of the century! by Ro'que · · Score: 5, Funny

      She's going to have to do a shitload of babysitting to pay her mom back that two grand. Ouch.

  2. That was quick by Nick+of+NSTime · · Score: 5, Funny

    It was very kind of our beloved RIAA to reach such an amicable settlement with this 12-year-old girl's mother. Now 50 Cent will surely be able to afford that ivory backscratcher he has had his eye on.

    1. Re:That was quick by 13Echo · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not the ivory backscratcher. He'll be able to buy a new bling-bling chalice for those pimpin' videos.

      In case you didn't notice, the chalice is all the rage in rap videos these days. You aren't pimp unless you have one.

    2. Re:That was quick by MulluskO · · Score: 4, Funny

      50 Cent is not an artist.

      --

      Too busy staying alive... ~ R.A.
  3. The RIAA did not settle!!! by Muhammed+al-Sahhaf · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do not believe the lies. The RIAA did not settle. The RIAA has achieved complete victory against the file swaping aggressors. Brianna LaHara martyred herself upon our ranks of lawyers. Our dogs will eat her stomach while our women beat her face with their shoes.

    Sincerely,
    Muhammed Saeed al-Sahhaf
    Minister of Information, RIAA

  4. Who's next? by vitaflo · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm just waiting for the RIAA to sue some deaf dude. You know it's only a matter of time.

  5. Re:The RIAA sucks by WhiteKnight07 · · Score: 5, Funny

    At either the voter registration office or your local gun range. Depending on how much patience and faith in the system you have.

    --


    We're going to make information free Mr. Anderson, whether you like it, or not.
  6. Re: You don't think she really paid, do you? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They all of the sudden started speaking in polished engligh?

    Polished what?

  7. I'm ready for them. by nolife · · Score: 5, Funny

    I just downloaded the Fox in Socks mp3...

    If they come after me they are in for one hell of a tweetle beetle puddle paddle battle.

    --
    Bad boys rape our young girls but Violet gives willingly.
  8. Re:The Best RIAA Quote by antiMStroll · · Score: 5, Funny
    It's interesting to see that the RIAA has such a low opinion of human nature.

    Hey, cut them some slack. They spend every work day consorting with record industry types. What do you expect?

  9. Re:You don't think she really paid, do you? by cappadocius · · Score: 4, Funny
    What I think happened here is that the RIAA swooped in and offered them a deal. More than likely they pushed the money to her somehow and it came back. Nice and neat. That's only my opinion without any facts.

    But why? To prevent looking like a bully? They still do. If they really wanted to avoid a PR problem why not simply not sue her?

    Just because they get the subpoena doesn't mean they have to follow up on it.

    Mark my words, one of these days one of those subpoenas will find a lawmaker's kid on the other end, and the RIAA will run away from that court room as fast as they can.

    --

    omnia tua castra sunt nobis

  10. Re:I took action today... by Guppy06 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "What did you do today?"

    I bumped up the size of my Freenet node space.

  11. Allow me to translate . . . by CleverNickName · · Score: 5, Funny
    For everyone who is shocked to hear such eloquence from a 12 year-old, and rightfully doubts the veracity of her statements, allow me translate her quote back into the original vernacular.

    IM SORY FOR WUT I HAEV DONE!!!1!111 OMG LOL I LOVA MUSIC AND DONT WANT 2 HURT TEH ARTISTS I LOVE1!!!!!! WTF