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Phillip Greenspun: Java == SUV
lateralus writes "In his blog, Philip Greenspun re tells of his epiphany that Java is the SUV of programming languages. An interesting point brought forth in his typical extreme style."
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It pollutes the environment and wastes gas...
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
Pinto?
You mean, "JAVA is the language of the people who like to call themselves developers."
/me wonders what the Firestone tires of programming is. Then goes to RTFA.
OK, I've heard Java called a lot of things and I know it has its faults, but I really don't think the SUV comparison holds water.
Nobody ever started using Java because they wanted to compensate for a small penis, which is the only possible reason for buying an Hummer.
People couldn't type. We realized: Death would eventually take care of this.
Where ANSI C is the jeep of them all. C++ is a two-door which looks nicer but is slightly less useful. C can be used and abused by anyone anywhere and will obviously outlast Java, but anyone with money to throw and show off (at the cost of wasting enormous resources) will get the SUV. Smaller programmers here and there (not smaller in importance) will use the bicycle which would be Perl. For now, I'll just take a walk (BASIC)
"Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you." -Nim Chimpsky
I've been writing web applications since the late 70s (initially for the NSA before we made it public) and in my experience Java has a lot of inherent faults that render it useless for large scope projects.
It's cross-platform feature has been tainted by the agenda of the forces that dominate the respective operating system (BeOS, Windows, OS/2, Mac OS, and AIX). That is a pity since Sun had done such a phenomenal job in releasing the first public Java release back in 1985 which at the time would run on Commodore 128 and my Amstrad PC. About a year later they released a IBM PC version but unfortunately it required 256k of memory which made it dificult to deploy at the time.
SUV's start up instantly!
"Consider yourself a member of a virtual corporation with Mr. Torvalds as your Chief Executive Officer." - Linux Advocac
Weave's rushed tongue-in-cheek SUV vs JAVA comparison:
Someone spoke for that overbloated thing that is Java.
Sun really beat M$ in THAT game. If you want to do anything in Java you need a hundred classes, calling a million methods and passing them several times.
PHP and ASP are much more simple.
Java joined the complexity of the Windows API with the speed of an interpreted language, along with some bitches as strong-typing, millions of similar classes.
PHP
cut(bread)
ASP
bread.cut();
Java
knifeh = new KnifeHandle
knifeb = new KnifeBlade
k = new Knife
k.Attach(knifeh)
k.Attach(knifeb)
_try()
{ bread(k.cut)
}
catch (Outch)
{
dial.dialnumber(911);
}
how long until
A voice of reason
Well, note that Phil does advocate in his article the use of VB instead!
Mmm, nice comparison, can I compare assembly programming to bull running, it gets you fit and fast, but it winds up being a pain in the ass.
Just a thought from a friendly MIT student.
Something intelligent here.
Phillip Greenspun == Hot air balloon of programming pundits
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
there already is an anon non karma whore post of the article... mod it up instead of this whore!
Ok, then Java isn't an SUV. It's the Econoline/ Transit van of the programming world. Until you get stuck behind it, it's fine...
...and he grinned, like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.
How can "Java == SUV". it does not support operator overloads?
Maybe Java.equals (SUV).
Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated up.
That's right. Everyone knows that NetBSD is the toaster OS of choice!
Plus imho Tomcat is a pain in the ass to configure, and you gotta keep javac'ing, and so on. Just give me a language where I can throw in a little bit of code in the middle of a webpage, in the regular web directory, and be done with it.
Boy, what da HELL you talkin 'bout? Looky heah:
Now, what so hard 'bout dat? Looks like code t'me! Looks like it's in the middle of a page! Hit it, load it, be done with it. Need t'change a value? Change it, save it, reload it. You all needs t'pull yo cranium outta yo backside, mmmhmm.
"Gotta keep javac'ing." I declare, that's the DUMBEST thing I done heard all day.
For providing examples of invalid syntax in PHP, ASP, and java!
-CausticPuppy "Of all the people I know, you're certainly one of them." -Somebody I don't know
JSP is fantastically simpler than "J2EE", which is the recommended-by-Sun way of building applications
JSP is a component of J2EE. Here's a tip: When you have an "epiphany" about the nature of something, it ususally helps to have at least a basic understanding of whatever the hell it is you're talking about.
For example,
http://www.cliki.net/Database
I personally use Pg most of the time now, but I used to use CommonSQL (that comes with Lispworks), on which UncommonSQL is based. That really makes database access dead easy in Lisp.
"Do you happen to teach Comp Sci at MIT?"
No, I work for a living.
Also, I have to live with the results of my technical choice for a decade, unlike some trendy professor from Boston who, in two years, will be promoting some other new technology trend.
That's not a flame, that's just the truth.
Ahh, the good old ==. We are talking about Java, and instance of something, and an SUV, a tpye label assigned to various other isntances. The headling won't compile, you need to say Java == SUV.class but that's not quite right either. So what the headline should say is...
Java instanceof SUV
We'll ignore the bad naming conventions, specifically it should be a lowercase J. Dont forget also that Java instanceof 3GL and Java instanceof OO.
My favorit happens to be Java instanceof ToyLanguage. The difference between men and boys? The size of their toys!
--Shemnon
Where else can you feel so safe, but completely fuel inefficient? Plus, if you run into someone else's code, you'll be just fine.
Give me a fish, I shall eat well for a day. Teach me to fish, and I will eat well until some idiot patents it.
He suggests that Visual Basic is better than Java. I will refrain from comment, the quote speaks for itself.
Rootbeer's Corollary to Godwin's Law:
On Slashdot, the terms "Visual Basic" and "Hitler" shall be interchangeable.
You want to know what I really think happened?
:)
Someone at Harvard wanted to load test their server configuration, so they turned to Phil and said "can you post some flame bait and then get it posted to Slashdot for us?"
So you see he's not a troll, just a resourceful engineer
microsoftword.mp3 - it doesn't care that they're not words...
"The fact of the matter is, you can't do anything in Java you can't do in C++ or C or assembly language or raw machine language for that matter."
You can write an arbitrarily complex program in any language... you just have to use that language to write a Lisp interpreter first...
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Enough Said.
- these are not the droids you are looking for -