Slashdot Mirror
The Oldest Mouse Contest
Shipud writes "Nature
reports a contest that was launched in Britain today, to produce the oldest laboratory mouse. Current record in 5 years -- 150 in human years. From the page
: ``Researchers can use any technique to boost longevity, including genetic manipulation and stem-cell therapy''. Winners will receive cash for every day beyond the current record. The
Methuselah Mouse contest was created in an effort to boost research into human longevity."
Cry Oh Genix. I Am the Immortal Mousie!
Research increases life expectancy in mice.
I've had my mouse for nearly 10 years!
All they need is a little care and attention, and maybe cleaning the ball every now and again.
Of course, many people just go rushing after new toys, like PS2 and scollwheels and second buttons...
Well some one was gonna say it anyway I guess
"Those who cast the votes decide nothing; those who count the votes decide everything." (attrib. Joseph Stalin)
Doesnt he hold the record?
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
some team will back a mouse that never dies. but within 10 years every part of its body will have been replaced at one time or another....
mousenstein.
(you can welcome our undead mouse overlords if you want but i won't be held responsible for lost karma)
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
Afterall most mice seem to follow doctors orders with a healthy diet of seed/fruit/veg and plenty of wheel running exersise.
Bits List:
1x Mouse
1X Space Ship
Insturctions:
Insert mouse A into Space Ship B. Launch Space Ship B into orbit around the sun. Speed up space ship B to near the speed of light. Allow relitivity to do it's work. Bring space ship back to earth at desired point, and remove very old mouse A.
ESD PRODUCT SERVICE SUPPORT SUBJECT:NEW RETAIN TIP
Record number: H031944
Device: D/T8550
Model: M
Hit count: UHC00000
Success count: USC00000
Publication code: PC50
Tip key: 025
Date created: O89/02/14
Date last altered: A89/02/15
Owning B.U.: USA
Abstract: MOUSE BALLS NOW AVAILABLE AS FRU (Field Replaceable Unit)
TEXT:
Mouse balls are now available as a FRU. If a mouse fails to operate,or should perform erratically, it may be in need of ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should be attempted by trained personnel only.
Before ordering,determine type of mouse balls required by examining the underside of each mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ,depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method, and domestic balls replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive, however, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each servicer have a pair of balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction,and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary functional items.
P/N33F8462--DOMESTIC MOUSE BALLS
P/N33F8461--FOREIGN MOUSE BALLS
Actually, a much better idea would be to make the user infertile UNTIL a specified age. I'm just turning 25 and I'd love to be sterile for the next 5yr, as long as it was trivially reversible.
my sig's at the bottom of the page.
I, for one, welcome our new Methuselah Mouse overlords.
Like what I said? You might like my music
The need for immortality is obvious. Given an infinite lifespan--with all of its infinite possibilities--there will finally be a non-zero probability that the average Slashdot reader will be able to lose his virginity.
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
Five years? Pah. They've a long, long way to go before they match John Coffey's mad mouse resurrection skillz in The Green Mile...
I think so Brain, but if they called them "sad meals", kids wouldn't buy them.
"I Know You Are But What Am I?"
So what's the worse things that's going to happen? A dead lab rat? What if the thing stays young forever? Let's pick up the pace people!
No kidding!
If the effectiveness of longevity treatments doesn't outpace my rate of decay, I'm going to be a very unhappy customer of the universe.
That may be true, but just wait till we get all these geriatric mice living well beyond their normal years, who's gonna feed them?
No. Snopes says its true. But even IBM meant it as a joke.
.ACMD setaloiv siht gnidaeR
They've done that already
I predict the solution will involve "The final front-ear", or something.
"On your mark... Get set.... age!"
"Derp de derp."
Any "free" rat or mouse in my garden has a life expectancy of about 30 seconds, once the resident feline AWACS detects its presence.
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
" mouse A would actually be younger than you would naively expect."
I was expecting to have Mouse A circle the Sun for at least 5000 years.
My Back-up plan involves Mouse D, Klingon Ship E and Star Trek crew F...
Ok, I'll stop now.
(No Whales were harmed in the typing of this post)
... unless he is occupied with playing Duke Nukem Forever all the time.
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
A giant, carniverous, mutant super mouse, bent on world domination and the enslavement of the human race to work in it's underground cheese mines.
If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
Mickey's been around for 75 years.
I for one feel that imortality would be more of a curse than a blessing. ...You could fly around the galaxy and insult every creature in it, in Alphabetical order.
~Will
sig?
The hidden party behind the experiment was clearly a wealthy mouse who found himself dying young, and started this contest as a way to extend mouse lives. Now, members of the experiment just need a way to get in touch with each other...
"Ears are short."
"But tails are long..."
"Not 'while the evil D-Con comes not'"
If so, I call dibs on Darl McBride...
Forget the pot, think of all the acid you could trip on...
And they had to make their own cheese. That's if they were lucky...
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
No, no, no! This will result in a very young mouse! What you need to do is speed the universe up to the speed of light while leaving the mouse stationary.
Voila! Old mouse!
--
Mac OS X--Unix without the assholes^Whassles.