Slashdot Mirror
IT Career Horoscopes
HRHsoleil writes "If you're addicted to horoscopes, you going to love these Horoscopes for geeks." Mine was surprisingly accurate, thus proving beyond a shadow of a doubt the power that a gaseous orb a zillion miles away exhibits upon my laptop.
If you try to stay in control, you will only set yourself up for disappointment. Let go. Focus on projects that will benefit others and show off your altruistic side. Your co-workers look up to you more than you think. Problem-solving discussions are fruitful -- as long as you don't forget to follow up your words with concrete action. This is a good time to take a second look at an idea you've previously discarded. You've got a new frame of reference and will be able to see farther down the road than most. Be sure to pay attention to financial responsibilities and investments
Yeah right, the day "Problem-solving discussions are fruitful" is the day hell freezes over.
Gibble: Descriptive of an emotional state in which one's mind is scrabbling for some purchase on reality
Excuse me, those are newsletters
-Mr. Fusion
But not, I think, as clever as Weird Al. :)
I read all 12 to try to discover if they could tell me when I was born - but they all seemed as descriptive as each other.
Hmm. So how did it know that my second kid is due any day now, and that the first one is still keeping me awake by howling to the rooftops at night?
I'm convinced. No really, I am. Honest.
Cheers,
Ian
I'm paraphrasing here, but when talking about horoscopes, Carl Sagan summarised them like this:
The idea behind horoscopes is that the way the planets were aligned when you were born affects you. The only way this could actually be true is if it was their respective pulls of gravity against your body while being born.
Then he pointed out that the gravitational pull of the obstetrician that delivered you far outweighed that of any celestial body.
Your significant other will become jealous when you buy a new one. She laments being called the 'slow' one. Tonight: Play old school.
Aries: you will die a virgin
Taurus: you will die a virgin
Gemini: you will die a virgin
Cancer: you will die a virgin
etc..
We Scorpios don't believe in astrology...
"Expect to spend lots of time waiting in line for menial work when it is discovered that for your salary, management could hire six workers in Bangalore." ...darn.
Freedom isn't free; its price is the well-being of others.
all the US IT workers being replaced by be Indians in the near future.
I was amazed when I read my horoscope!
Not only did it apply to me directly, but to countless thousands of other people as well! Nearly 1/12th of the worlds population could benefit from this advice!
How they get this accurate I don't know.
42 - So long and thanks for all the fish.
Using Voodoo Dolls to influence your PHB...
Trolling is a art,
I'm unemployed, you insensitive clod!
I think my horoscope needs a patch.
Slashbot: (Feb 23-Mar 18)
You will plug some cables into a router today. You will complain over a bowl of kraft dinner that you aren't making the 100,000 dollars and up that the radio commercial for MCP certs promised you. You will post grossly wrong information on slashdot to make everyone think you understand and use linux. Noone will notice as they don't know either, and you will get easy "karma" which is absolutely useless in the cosmic sense. You will not get laid, that was a stupid question.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
The Exchange server will be down at 6
Horoscopes are based on simple concepts that are almost univeral. That if I ask you if you are having conflict with your mate, you will probably say yes. It may be because of a divorce, or it might be a disagreement over what movie to see this weekend.
Nothing about romance... it must be accurate!
Then they voted on how well-tailored their horoscopes were. About 80% of the class said that the horoscopes were "perfect" or "very good", with about 10% "good" and only 10% saying "fair" or "poor".
Of course, the kicker is that they all received exactly the same horoscope, I believe an Aquarius reading for early spring 2002.
Even more of course, the site I got them from advertised that "we don't produce generic horoscopes -- we tailor them specifically to your date of birth!"
Research has shown that the time of birth does have an impact on your life, especially in countries with sharp seasonal differences.
Things like the amount of food available to your pregnant mother, the amount of sun light you got when you were a few weeks old, the temperature you had to adapt to when you were a toddler... these seem to have an impact in later life.
The specific study was on fertility in Canadian women, and showed a difference of (IIRC) 40%+ between those born in the summer and those born in the winter.
So, before you laugh, there might actually be some basis for assuming that "Capricorns are always horny" and "Leos are dishonest".
Ceci n'est pas une signature
One of things that a lot of people don't consider about astrology is that there is a good reason why people of the same signs may have similar personality traits. People who were born at the same time of the year have had various seasons and events happen at the same key points in early development. So, people born right after Christmas in January may have different perspectives on the importance of family, friends, and holidays (their birthdays being near the holidays) than someone born in June. Also, can anyone say what difference it might make in a child's development if it's snowing when they're learning to walk vs. heat of summer?
I'm not saying this means that you can tell their future based on when they're born, but there may be something to the idea that people of like signs have similar personalities and that relationship compatibility may be tied in to zodiak sign.
Find me in ~/.sig
Here's my idea for the Slashdotter's Horoscope: /. while you're supposed to be working. /. today. /. will ironically be slashdotted. /. will unfortunately have an instance of "teh" in place of "the" because you didn't hit the preview button.
Aries: You will get First Post today!
Taurus: You will receive a visit from the "goatse guy."
Gemini: You Fail It!
Cancer: You will read a story about the SCO lawsuit today.
Leo: Today you will finish your transformation of an old vacuum cleaner into a computer case.
Virgo: Today your boss will catch you reading
Libra: You will be asked to Meta-Moderate.
Scorpio: Someone will tell you that, despite your best efforts, BSD is dying.
Sagittarius: Your sig will mysteriously be left off your post on
Capricorn: What you thought was a witty comment will receive -1, Troll.
Aquarius: A site that you try to visit after reading about on
Pisces: Your post on
here
They never fail and are always right on target.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.