Geek Eye for the Average Guy

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Posted by michael on Tuesday September 23, 2003 @07:17AM from the tech-support-on-speed-dial dept.

Yxes writes "Fortune designed an experiment: give three geeks US$15,000 and three days to bring a family of four up to date with technology. The average family doesn't know which DVD player to buy or how to setup a wireless network. What happens when even the geeks can't get it to work?"

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No Fair by Sloppy · 2003-09-23 07:18 · Score: 4, Funny

3 days?! What a blatant anti-Gentoo bias!

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As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
1. Re:No Fair by drivers · 2003-09-23 09:41 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  you can have gentoo, kde, and gnome built in three days, easy. Hell, maybe even two days.
  
  Because as we all know, gnome wasn't built in a day.
Some things for most people: by DeadSea · 2003-09-23 07:18 · Score: 5, Funny
For the Audio Visual setup:
1. Get them down to one remote - Nice receiver, learning remote - properly programmed, buttons all labeled
2. DVR - TiVo or Replay TV, its a must have. Enable the 30 second skip button on the TiVo remote.
3. Adjust the TV properly - turn the sharpness the whole way down, go through all the test patterns and balance the colors.
For the computer:
1. Open source software - Install software from the Open CD, Linux if they are up for it..
2. Decruft the mouse and keyboard (although even most geeks could use this)
3. A decent home network, add more computers as needed.
4. A nice office chair and good ergonomics - switch them over to the dvorak keybord and make them practice.
For the kitchen:
1. Print out list of all pizza delivery options
2. Stock fridge with Mt. Dew and Guinness.
Personal grooming:
1. Pocket Protector ;-)
1. Re:Some things for most people: by andyrut · 2003-09-23 07:22 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  switch them over to the dvorak keybord and make them practice.
  
  In three days? They'd have to have quite a bit of motivation to accomplish this - I'd suggest breaking one of the family members' hands and forcing them to learn right- or left-handed Dvorak.
2. Re:Some things for most people: by Schwartzboy · 2003-09-23 07:36 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  For some reason, I'm reminded of "Query Eye for the Database Guy" (anyone read Foxtrot? Bueller? Bueller?). Remember, a null pointer doesn't have to be a dull pointer!
  But really....
  "and stacks random CDs behind the TV and on top of the dryer."? *shudder*
  Pearls before swine, says I.
  
  --
  "Linux doesn't exist. Everyone knows Linux is an unlicensed version of Unix"- Kieren O'Shaughnessy
3. Re:Some things for most people: by atheken · 2003-09-23 07:51 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  "I grew up learning querty (learned to touch type when I was 9 I believe)."
  
  and they didn't teach you how to spell it?
  
  QWERTY - it's on the keyboard if you've forgotten.
  
  This is slashdot, of course I am going to split-hairs! :-D
4. Re:Some things for most people: by Trigun · 2003-09-23 08:02 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  You'd give him the finger too, if it weren't for that damned carpal tunnel.
5. Re:Some things for most people: by jd · 2003-09-23 08:03 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Look, if I decrufted the keyboards and mice I've
  used over time, they'd need to open up a new
  landfill site.
  
  The other thing you've got to teach them is that
  if you pour coffee down the keyboard, it runs down
  the wires and into the network, attracting spam.
  
  --
  It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
6. Re:Some things for most people: by ryanvm · 2003-09-23 08:07 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  One of my co-workers uses a DVORAK keyboard. We, of course, ridicule him to no end.
  
  I'll bet you guys and your anti-DVORAK jokes are a real riot.
7. Re:Some things for most people: by daeley · 2003-09-23 08:45 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  And if you have a puppy, it will just LOVE the taste of it. I've discovered that puppies love to eat remote controls (because they smell people on them).
  
  Which just goes to show, never, ever, ever trust your pets, especially the cute ones, because they will eat your entire family given half a chance.
  
  --
  I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
Dear Fortune, by teamhasnoi · 2003-09-23 07:18 · Score: 5, Funny

I enjoyed your article immensely, especially when the Geek starts calling everyone 'bitch'. However, I can't quite get the gist of it.
Please repeat your experiment of 4 guys installing 15,000 dollars of equipment at my house, so that I may understand *exactly* the trials of learning to use technology.
Many Thanks,
Teamhasnoi
Average Eye for the Geek Guy by blchrist · 2003-09-23 07:19 · Score: 5, Funny

It should be the other way around. A group of average people can tell a geek how to shower. They can teach him that long greasy hair in a ponytail is not a fashion statement. They could even take him shopping to buy clothes that aren't just t-shirts with nerdy slogans or anime characters on them.
A grim outlook... by Gefiltefish11 · 2003-09-23 07:20 · Score: 5, Funny

"Ok, the first thing you need on your PC is Linux. And forget a GUI, you need to do everything in text. Windowed interfaces are so not cool. Once you're set up with this, we'll go to the de-tanning booth to get your skin a nice white pasty color..."
"But why..." by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-23 07:20 · Score: 5, Funny

"But why is my homepage www.slashdot.org? What is this site? What's it good for? Are there games? Oh wait, I see the games section!"
1. Re:"But why..." by KillerHamster · 2003-09-23 07:38 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  "And what's with all this Goatse stuff? What is that, anyway?"
  
  *Click*
  
  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
2. Re:"But why..." by IIRCAFAIKIANAL · 2003-09-23 08:55 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Heh, I just thought of how the movie "The Ring" could have been ten times scarier.
  
  "When you see the Goatse... you die."
  
  --
  Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
Alright, but only if... by Neuracnu+Coyote · 2003-09-23 07:20 · Score: 5, Funny

...the last few paragraphs of the forthcoming Fortune article are dedicated to the team of geeks sitting around a monitor on the other side of town, packet-sniffing the new network for leaks and shreeking at what horrible things the new users are doing to the whole system.

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Requirements? by Rick+the+Red · 2003-09-23 07:22 · Score: 4, Funny

No wonder the project failed. Where was the Requirements Document? The simple statement: "bring a family of four up to date with technology" is not a proper requirement. Did they want to make home movies? Send email to Grandma? Walk in the house and have the lights turn on automatically? What were they trying to do with that $15k?

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If all this should have a reason, we would be the last to know.
1. Re:Requirements? by Wakkow · 2003-09-23 07:33 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Here's the requirements from the article:
  
  "really, all they wanted to do was send digital pictures of the kids to Grandma."
  
  Of course, it continues on with:
  
  "Heistad came back with a shopping list that would get them that, plus a home theater, a wireless network, new computing, a tricked-out music system, and GPS positioning capabilities"
  
  HA! You think a group of geeks would only buy a camera and maybe a new PC? HA! GPS is definitely needed to send photos to grandma.
Hmm. by grub · 2003-09-23 07:23 · Score: 5, Funny

Does the $15,000 include the $699 for SCO?

--
Trolling is a art,
Easy universal answer by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · 2003-09-23 07:27 · Score: 4, Funny

What happens when even the geeks can't get it work?

Blame it on Windows : it always works with budget overruns as well as questions about technical problems. Tell the family you told them about Linux but they wouldn't hear. Make sure you use a patronizing tone.

--
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Simple! by AndroidCat · 2003-09-23 07:28 · Score: 5, Funny

If the avarage family doesn't anything about the stuff or how to install it, they won't miss it if they don't have it.
1. Install cardboard box with "Really Neat Box!" written on it.
2. Pocket $15,000.
3. ???
4. Profit!
(I think ??? involves running away very fast, but doesn't it always?)

--
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Re:If that's geeky, then you can have it. by Xerithane · 2003-09-23 07:34 · Score: 4, Funny

Which is more impressive: owning a lot of expensive hardware, or turning outdated junk into useful tools?

Translation: Having a bigger dick, or knowing how to use it?

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Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
Linux for the Average Guy by barryfandango · 2003-09-23 07:35 · Score: 5, Funny

[Geek] Okay, now you're running Linux! Your computer will run faster and be more stable. Also it's politically and morally superior, and the software is all free!

[AverageGuy] Awesome, thanks! So what games are on here?

[Geek] I have to go now.

--
In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. -Oscar Wilde
Damn, it's time for lunch when... by justMichael · 2003-09-23 07:37 · Score: 5, Funny

You read the end of the article as

They pause. Ross fingers his goatse...

instead of

They pause. Ross fingers his goatee...

Damn you /.
Re:programmed my vcr by The+Mayor · 2003-09-23 07:38 · Score: 4, Funny

I've got my TiVo, VCR, & TV on a UPS. That solves the flashing 12:00 problem most of the time.

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--Be human.
Queer Eye + Geek Eye = ???? by teamhasnoi · 2003-09-23 07:42 · Score: 4, Funny

"Helloooo...1997 called, they want their Moo Cow Gateway back!"
"You call this a wireless mouse? More like a wireless HOUSE!"
"Hmm. I like what you've done with this cabling - it's very Feng-Schwing!"
"I hope you're going for a grainy, 'Kiss me Deadly' sort of thing with this greyscale monitor!"
"Nice X-Box! Can we move in? And the controllers...I haven't seen anything that big since we did Kevin Mitnik..ss house... ahem.."
GPS? by donutz · 2003-09-23 07:56 · Score: 5, Funny

HA! You think a group of geeks would only buy a camera and maybe a new PC? HA! GPS is definitely needed to send photos to grandma.

GPS: Know your exact location in your own home!

Without GPS:
Wife: "Kids, dinnertime!"
(no answer)
Husband: "Maybe they're in the toy room, dear!"

With GPS:
Wife: "Kids, dinnertime!"
(no answer)
Husband: "Kids are at 33 56' 52" N, 118 8' 5" W, dear!"
$15k wasted by r_j_prahad · 2003-09-23 08:06 · Score: 4, Funny

These turds blew $15,000 on gizmos and gadgets for a family that only wanted to send pix of the kids to Granny? Talk about scope creep....
the geeks by corian · 2003-09-23 08:10 · Score: 4, Funny

What happens when even the geeks can't get it work?

If that happens, they send someone out to buy them a preposition.
Re:I call BS by swilver · 2003-09-23 08:55 · Score: 5, Funny

...suggesting Apex to your friends or family will just make sure they don't ask you for your advice ever again...
That's perfect, I'll recommend it to all my friends and relatives right away!!