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20th Anniversary of RMS's Original GNU Post
An anonymous reader writes "Sep 27, 2003 is the 20th anniversary of Stallman's original Usenet post describing his vision of GNU. Good time for reflecting over GNU's successes and failures, about how it has changed our world."
The fuck they have. That fat, stinky, hairy hippie needs to be shot in his fucking face with a large caliber weapon. Twice.
As far as I'm concerned, this person is just another lonely soul if he doesn't have a good partner to share life with. I want to know.
-Libertarian secular transhumanist
who gives a shit? I mean really. People get a life. I mean a real life. This isn't a troll. Go out and get a woman, see a movie, hey maybe even get laid. *sighs*
With a twinkle in his eye and a skip in his step, RMS slammed his sky-blue Chevette's rusted-out car door and turned on heel toward the MIT Zoo entrance. Today was a Sunday, and RMS had decided the daily stresses of Free Software, the GPL, and his "crazy" drug habits could go away for just one afternoon while he enjoyed the zoo.
"That'll be twenty-five dollars, sir," the lady at the admission booth said glumly. She looked at RMS expectantly.
"I was expecting this zoo to be Free," RMS stated loudly, eyes darting around to gauge onlookers' reactions. There were none: RMS's capital F had went unnoticed. "Can you ensure me that this money will not help fund--"
The admissions lady cut him off. "Twenty-five dollars, or twenty bucks with a Mr. Pibb can," the lady cut in.
With a grumble and shake of his beard, RMS handed over twenty five of his hard-earned dollars. Considering that the GPL works to unemploy programmers, one must wonder where this money came from...
By evening, RMS found himself in front of the penguin exhibit. He felt himself start to sweat, which would have been no surprise-- his thick, full, grizzly beard must be worth a thousand down comforters-- except that he was wearing only a pair of nylon biking shorts and a travel pack around his waist. He stared at his hands. What was wrong?
"AWWWK!" a nearby bird offered. RMS wheeled in the direction the screech had come from. He was met with the steely, unfeeling stares of a penguin. "AWK! Ooooh God, the penguin said AWK... lord, lord lord, it's LINUX. THE PENGUIN IS TUX!" RMS blurted out. He felt dizzy, and cold sweat now washed over his brittle, hairy chest. He looked this way and that. From nearby a bird again squawked.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK"
RMS ran as fast as his atrophied hippy-programmer legs could carry him, right thru a gate and into an exhibit. He realized what he had done, and before he could turn around, he heard a low, ominous sound. Like the Devil's riding mower. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" RMS gasped.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
He was standing in the Gnu section, and it seemed these bull yaks were in rut and ready to mate with the first hairy thing with a hole in its center they found. Bad luck for RMS and his beard. Just then he felt cloven hooves push him down...
Trollaxor: Hey, RMS, what the fuck is up? I'm glad I got the opportunity to perform this interview with you. [coughs]
RMS: Hello, Mr. Trollaxor. I'm glad I got the opportunity to speak to another individual, interested in Free Software, that will eventually reach millions with the message I wish to express in this interview.
Trollaxor: Yeah, whatever. Let's get this over with. Firstly, let's talk about the origins of GNU. We all know it's Not UNIX. But where, exactly, did it come from? What was your prime inspiration for such a fine, grand, practical idea?
RMS: I'm glad you asked that.
Trollaxor: I'm not.
RMS: Ah [laughs]. You have a unique sense of humor, comrade Trollaxor!
Trollaxor: I know. And don't call me comrade. Or your friend, ally, brother, homey... I don't even like you. Now answer the question.
RMS: Ah, [laughs] yes. GNU. Well, after reading the works of Marx and Lenin, and having attended MIT and created several programs (GCC among them, of course) to which the source code was freely (as in speech, and beer) available, I began to see a certain communal effort begin to take shape among the software developers in the labs where I worked. However, the "administration" at MIT improperly thought that, since my works were created at MIT, they, and their source, belonged to MIT. This was in conflict with my embryonic philosphy--
Trollaxor: Hey, could you just cut your ideological bullshit and get to the part where you were taking a dump and farted out the GNU / Free Software concept as we know it today?
RMS: Ah, I don't think I know what you're referring to, Mr. Trollaxor. And I certainly don't remember any toilet episodes being involved with the creation of GNU or Free Software.
Trollaxor: Oh really? It's hard for me to imagine a toilet not having been involved in the creation of Free Software. No, I'm talking about how one day you were sitting in a stall at MIT's grand restroom facilities, peeped thru the glory hole bored in the stall wall to look for customers, and saw a man's ass tatooed with a bull or yak or something?
RMS: WHAT!?
Trollaxor: Okay, okay, okay. Let's move on. How about your musical talents? From graphics posted at your homepage, it looks like you're fairly proficient on the flute. How's you obtain that talent?
RMS: That's rather simple: just a lot of practice and determination. The instruments you've seen me playing on my website are plan-pipes, actually, and not flutes. I began taking lessons from my father while him and I were still talking. I can play the flute, however, and--
Trollaxor: Skin-flute.
RMS: Excuse me?
Trollaxor: You heard me. Skin-flute. You play the skin-flute. That's why you're so good on those porn-pipes or whatever the Hell you called them. You are a skin-flute virtuoso and can play them like nobody's business. "Master skin-flutist RMS." Skin-flute.
RMS: Ah, I think this interview's getting a little off-track from its focus of Free Software and the GNU philosphy.
Trollaxor: Of course it is. And why the fuck do you begin every sentence with "ah?" Anyway, I'll indulge you. New question. What's all this I hear about you dropping acid like there's not tomorrow?
RMS: Hey, look, I'm willing to spend my time discussing and even debating about the GNU concept and Free Software. I'm a very busy man--
Trollaxor: No you're not.
RMS: I'm a very busy man and I simply cannot tolerate spending my valuable time digressing onto useless topics, much less helping you slander my good name--
Trollaxor: Shut up.
RMS: I believe we're talking at cross-purposes here and I wish to terminate this interview now.
Trollaxor:
I would like to be the first non-sycophant to say: Fuck you, you dirty hippy!
Moderators, salute RMS and his hard work by modding the parent up.
I remember when it happened. At the time, I was sure that programmers would have the insight to see through Stallman's deception. But too many haven't. There's still time to turn the tide, but we don't have long.
Jenny needed to pee. It wasn't an extremely urgent need (at least not yet, anyway), but it was enough to cause her some discomfort. She had been bagging groceries nonstop for the past 2 1/2 hours, and it wasn't even an hour and fifteen minutes into her shift that she began to feel that familiar sensation of painful pressure weighing down on her urethra. Jenny was an attractive Caucasian girl, with a slim body and shoulder-length dark blonde hair. But now her cute face was beginning to show the strain caused by the increasing heaviness in her bladder.
A customer noticed her furrowed brow and pursed lips and asked her if there was anything wrong.
"Oh, it's nothing," she replied. "I just need to use the bathroom, that's all."
The customer chuckled and said, "Well, I hope you get to go soon."
Jenny said that she also hoped so and put the last of her groceries in the cart.
After he left, she turned her attention to the next customer, a rather dull, unintelligent middle-aged woman who couldn't decide whether she wanted paper or plastic. Jenny started to assist the dim bulb customer when she spotted her manager walking toward the checkout area. Jenny knew from the past two weeks that she was working at the supermarket that he was a bit of a loser, but she thought it wouldn't hurt to ask him if she could go relieve herself real quick. She politely asked the customer to wait a few moments and walked over to her manager to ask if she could go pee.
"Could you please take over bagging for me so I can go to the bathroom?" she inquired. "It'll only take a couple of minutes."
"Look, I have some work to do in the office," the manager snapped back in an irritated tone of voice. "You'll just have to wait." Then he quickly walked away.
Exasperated, Jenny went back to what she was doing. Geez, I was just asking, she thought. But then she figured she could hold it until her half-hour break, which was an hour and twenty minutes away.
As the minutes passed, Jenny continued the repetitive task of bagging groceries and trying to ignore her need to urinate, which was becoming more urgent. The fact that the store was getting busier didn't help either. I knew I shouldn't have drunk all that tea before coming into work today, Jenny thought regretfully.
When her break time finally came, Jenny was now very desperate to pee. But her manager was nowhere to be found and she couldn't leave the checkout area until he gave her permission. A minute later, he finally showed up again. Jenny hurried over to him and said it was time for her break.
"No, you don't get a break," he exclaimed unexpectedly. "The store's busy and we need more people up front."
"Please let me go," Jenny pleaded. "I have to go pee really, really bad!"
"Well, that's tough. You're just going to have to hold it until the end of your shift. You're not a little kid. Now get back to work."
As he walked away, Jenny stood there flabbergasted. She couldn't believe that her break was denied. She walked slowly back to her work area, trying not to pay attention her bursting bladder.
It was illegal for them not let to her take a half-hour break, of course. But Jenny didn't want to make a scene. Besides, she needed this job. The college scholarship she earned paid for the courses, but not books or transportation, and she was barely making ends meet as it is.
Jenny started bagging for the latest customer. Her shift wouldn't end for another three hours, and she knew that she probably wouldn't be able to hold it until then.
Nearly two hours passed as Jenny bagged more groceries and struggled to keep from losing control of her bladder. More customers started to notice the strained expression on her face and asked her about it. She said it was nothing and went filling up their carts. Jenny could not remember a time when she ever had to pee this badly! She was so desperate that she kept shifting foot to foot, and she desired to press her hands into her crotch, just to temp
My friend, Jade and I were off headed to an overnight party with some other friends but first, we went to a pub to drink since it was a hot day. We each had a full pitcher of beer and drank all of it. We ate a little and then we headed towards the bathroom because of recent problem that I had experienced. Jade said she did not need to go so I went by myself, peed quickly into the toilet and then left before even letting all of it out because we were in a hurry to get to the party, which was about an hour away There were BOYZ at the party. I got thirsty again and drank 4 more bottles of beer getting drunk. I knew that I was out of control but I finally sat down with a little help from Jade. She had also gotten thirsty so she drank a can of soda. Then we played spin the bottle for one and a half hours. Now, it was about 4 hours since both Jade and I had gone to the bathroom and I felt a little desperate. I asked my friends if I could go use the restroom but they didn't want me to leave yet because they were having such a wonderful time. I kind of forgot about it and then, it was my turn. I spun the bottle and luckily, it faced a cute guy I had a crush on. We went into the closet and started kissing and making out. We had so much fun that we stayed in for 10 minutes just kissing and then I became more desperate. We finally got out and it was another 20 minutes before we stopped playing spin the bottle. Now, I needed to go so bad that I just left to go to the restroom but Jade was even worse off. I met her coming out of the bathroom. She was probably desperate because she hadn't peed for 6 hours and had a lot of drinks in her bladder. I noticed a little wet spot on her skirt- she had needed to go so bad. She told me that she was trying to take it off quickly but it started pouring out just before she took it off. Now, my other friends started calling for me to come back, but I had to go so badly now that I just went in. Unfortunately, Jade suddenly grabbed me and said that I would be able to hold it. So I went back away from the bathroom since the line was very long. Eventually, I let a few drops go through my panties and down under my dress. I quickly knelt down so the dress would block the view from my friends. After 8 hours of no bathroom, I was still able to hold it when the guy I kissed in the closet came up to me and started kissing me. He was also tickling me too, so I let a few more drops go. He noticed that I had done that! He said, "Why didn't you tell me before?" I said that I was too embarrassed to tell him that. He told me I could go now, but I lost it all. I peed down under my dress but some was dripping from the bottom of it. It was only visible in the bottom so only he and I would know about it. I continually peed for 2 minutes and 12 seconds. He took pics of me peeing. (It is developing so when it finishes, I will send the picture over to go with the story) I was so embarrassed then. He gave me a kiss and we went downstairs like nothing had happened. I had no longer needed to go. We went to sleep for a while at the party. I woke up desperate to pee again so I quickly rushed towards the bathroom and peed very hard.
Jade woke up too, around 10 am and said that she didn't need to use the bathroom. We left the house and started towards home. After one half hour, she got desperate. We were almost to my house when she became too desperate to walk any longer. I half carried her on my back (she only weighed 106 pounds) and got her to a place where she could pee behind some bushes. I too had to go badly too, probably still drunk from the day before so I peed there too but I peed in my panties again. I wore my sweater to cover the spot, and then we headed on towards home. After a long 2 days, we finally arrived at my house and we laughed at all the peeing we did.
nobody gives a flying fuck. Nobody with a life, anyway.
The GNU is like any other cult religion. Just read the posts in this thread and see how they worship him. As if he is the pope. Sickening actually.
And to say he has made "great" contributions is far fetched. What do we have GCC?? Emacs???
Maybe great for programmers -- but not the public at large.
Sure there is linux -- which has the potential to serve the public at large. But it's not his creation. So he has to take it over by changing the name to the name HE wants - First LiGNUX, no that is really stupid, it doesn't work. Then GNU/linux, still stupid but his disciples are willing to fall for it. Arrogant ass.
The only thing that I have gotten out of this thread with everybody on their knees praying to RMS is the fact that he really is afraid of water. The first thing I'm going to do tomorrow is get a "Super Soaker" I can take with me to conventions.
This whole thread needs "Deprogramming", and I don't mean the computer kind.
--posting anon, 'cause if I want religous flames I'll talk to the scientologists. For those that see this at -1, thanks for looking for the alternate view.
i for one welcome our clarence overlords.
"Dickhead" is not, though. Example sentence: "You are a dickhead because you're not clear on singular versus plural."
It is true that "their" is often used instead of "his or her" when the gender of the subject is unknown. However this is usually only done in junior high schools in the poorer areas of town where the NEA is actually taken seriously in the public schools.