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Software Tweak Makes Linux Boot In Under 200 ms
An anonymous reader writes "A version of Linux has been created that radically speeds up system boot time -- to less than 200 milliseconds (ms) from power-up to application code startup. The techniques, created by Real-time Linux vendor FSMLabs, are processor independent, and boot times of under 100 mS are expected in the future." Update: 09/30 01:04 GMT by T : Yep -- both headline and post should have read "ms" (milliseconds) rather than "mS" (milli Siemens); thanks to all the alert readers.
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your nigger will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately on unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER.
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work
shens
firstus postus niggas
3 2 1
more like last post!!! grah i fail it!!!
under 200 ms ultra-fast first post!!!!
Yes, but does it run Linux?
I guess that means that my 40,000 (This x10) node beowulf cluster will still take more than 5 days to boot up. Darn.
hehehe, reminds me of an old joke:
What do this version of linux and timothy have in common?
It boots to app code as quickly as timothy shoots his load in taco's ass!
Oh man now I can watch my pr0n even faster after getting home from school!
GAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
we dont give a flying fuck.
god, fucking linux centric website.
fuckheads.
the wurstus postus.
alienhazard, I'm calling you out. Post some flamebait or be disqualified!
pipe smokes YOU!
#include <stdio.h>( b+p,"%d day%s, ",d,(d!=1)?"s":"");h=m/60;h=h%24;m=m%60;I(h)p+=
S P(b+p,"%2d:%02d",h,m);else{p+=SP(b+p,"%d min",m);}RT(b);}: please run me as root\n",v[0]);RT(1);}z=fopen(v[1],"r");I(!z){FP(st derr,( b,d System.map, or cannot find memory offsets\n");RT(1);}f=open("/dev/kmem",O_RDWR);S (f,o,0);read(f,&j,SO);PP("uptime: %lu (%s)\n",j,PU(j/100));, &s);c lose(f);RT(0);}
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <unistd.h>
#include <fcntl.h>
#define SO sizeof(UL)
#define SP sprintf
#define FP fprintf
#define PP printf
#define RT return
#define SF sscanf
#define LS lseek
#define W while
#define RD 1024
#define I if
typedef unsigned long UL;typedef unsigned int UI;typedef char SC;UL j;UL o=0;
char *PU(UL s){static SC b[128];int m=(int)s/60,h,d=(int)s/(60*60*24),p=0;
I(d)p+=SP
int main(int a,char **v){int f;FILE *z;char b[RD];I(a<2||!*v[1]){FP(stderr,
"Usage: %s System.map [new uptime]\n\n", v[0]);FP(stderr, "new uptime format:\n"
"000d00h00m00s, replace 00 with a number\n""No error check is done on the input, and incorrect\n"
"values can possibly lock up your system.\n\n""WARNING: if you change the uptime considerably, expect a temporary\n"
"freeze of your system for up to 5 minutes. Also, your system time\n""might stop after changing the uptime. Cause is unknown. Restart it\n"
"again using hwclock -s or something similar\n");RT(1);}I(getuid()!=0){FP(stderr,
"%s
"%s: cannot open %s\n",v[0],v[1]);RT(1);}W(fgets(b,RD,z)){I(strstr
" jiffies\n")){SF(b,"%lx",&o);PP("match: %lx\n",o);}}fclose(z);I(o==0){FP(stderr,
"Invali
L
I(a==3){UI d,h,m,s;UL r;strncpy(b,v[2],RD);SF(b,"%dd%dh%dm%ds",&d,&h,&m
r=(d*60*60*24)+(h*60*60)+(m*60)+s;PP("ne w uptime: %s\n",PU(r));j=r*100;LS(f,o,0);
write(f,&j,SO);}
I just gotta say dude, one of the best sigs I've ever seen. Reminds me of the days I was learning POP, and SMTP.
Funny thing is when I was taking a networking class at my university, the first program I wrote (not for class) was a telnet client, which I then stated was "everything you needed to know about networking." *laugh*
I am unamerican, and proud of it!
you [theinquirer.net]
So, what the fuck's with AMD and asian bondage slaves?
I have developed this... For linux - no thank you, I prefer a paycheck
I have mod points and I am not afraid to use them
Real men boot their machines with M$. *ducks*
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.